Had a acare today. Went out for dinner at the coffeeshop nearby. Xavier and Keane were looking at the game machines while we sat down to decide what we want to order. In less then 5 minutes, we saw Xavier by himself and Keane was no where in sight.
I almost freaked out. We went around the area to look for him. After a couple of rounds, we decided to expand the perimeter. I started to panic. What if something untoward happened to my son? What if someone grabbed him and made off? What if he ran onto the road and got knocked down by a car? My tears started to surface and my heart started pounding.
I held on to Xavier's hand and started to run. Luckily an old man saw my frantic movements and asked me if I was looking for a little boy. I said YES! He pointed towards our block and said he went towards that direction. I started yelling for Keane. One second later I saw him with a lady about 20 metres away. I ran toward my son and felt nothing but relief when he saw me and cried Mummy.
Surprisingly he was very calm and didn't display any signs of stress. After explaining the consequences to him, Keane began to show some signs of regret. The scariest was that he actually crossed the road in the carpark. Thank God nothing happened to him.
It was our oversight. We took things for granted. We should have sat them down before letting them play with the game machine. At least they will know where to look for us. We shouldn't have sat behind the pillar without keeping them in sight. I guess Keane wandered off because he couldn't see us.
This is a warning to us. And boy did we learn. Thank God it was a small warning. I cannot imagine what could have happened. It's too scary.
Lesson: Never ever take things for granted.
Listen to the voice of a mother of three who would like to share her thoughts and experiences of being a mother of 3 boisterous boys in the small city of Singapore.... Disclaimer: read at your own risk and learn from my mistakes.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Violence in School!!!
We received a call from Keane's teacher yesterday. Apparently he was behaving slightly violently or rough towards his classmates. He wrapped his arm around one of the kids' neck. He grabbed and fell himself on another. Given Keane's built and weight, it would have hurt....like hell.
So Ms Chong called up, "not to complain", but to find out what kind of television programs Keane watches at home. Tom and Jerry was identified as the culprit. Mindless chasing, hitting of each other and miraculous recoveries which make violence look as comfortable as a feather pillow.
I admit our negligence. When Xavier was younger, we restricted his viewing to Playhouse Disney, The Wiggles and Tiny Planet. He only upgraded to Cartoon Network late last year. Unfortunately that meant a free and early upgrade for Keane and Ryan. Which is bad news. Children mimic actions very easily. And it is dangerous when they do not have a value system to judge these actions before executing them.
To learn from my mistake, I strongly recommend control over television programs and even computer or Internet games. Keep them wholesome until the child demonstrates his value system and of course, make sure that value system holds the correct values!
So we asked Xavier to cooperate by watching only Playhouse Disney when Keane and Ryan are at home or awake. He has agreed. Thankfully he is mature and also has the big brother nature in him. I think it's also due to his education from school and wholesome programs.
Nowadays the television programs are varied and we can see more adult themes incorporated into children's programs. What used to be wholesome and innocent, Ala Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, has now mutated into mindless and violent shows. Look at what happened to Mickey Mouse clubber Britney Spears and you know what I mean, though the violence may not apply in her case? I wouldn't know as I'm not a fan.
I hope it's not too late to reverse the damage done to Keane and Ryan. Ryan is also showing an unusual tendency towards inflicting pain on others. He walks around with weapons like a toy baseball bat or the cane and swings the weapons at anything and almost anyone. And he laughs after he hits a target! Is that normal? I seriously don't think so......
He also favours pinching although he only pinches people he is familiar with, meaning not me! He pinches his dad and the helper. I like to think that he doesn't pinch me cos he adores me. Why? Because I'm a sucker for his cries and never fails to release him from his playpen prison whenever I'm home. I do that because I don't want him to feel deprived of freedom and abuse it when he gets freedom in childcare next year. Keane used to be "locked up" in the playpen before he went to childcare. Once he started attending childcare, he behaved like he never saw the light of day before. He would run out of his class and even attempted to run out of the school compounds! Breaking Out of Alcatraz in the making. Now you know why I prefer to let Ryan enjoy his freedom whenever he gets the chance.
Hey, I'm getting the hang of blogging again.....**evil smile and snigger**....hope the feeling lasts!!!! Later....
So Ms Chong called up, "not to complain", but to find out what kind of television programs Keane watches at home. Tom and Jerry was identified as the culprit. Mindless chasing, hitting of each other and miraculous recoveries which make violence look as comfortable as a feather pillow.
I admit our negligence. When Xavier was younger, we restricted his viewing to Playhouse Disney, The Wiggles and Tiny Planet. He only upgraded to Cartoon Network late last year. Unfortunately that meant a free and early upgrade for Keane and Ryan. Which is bad news. Children mimic actions very easily. And it is dangerous when they do not have a value system to judge these actions before executing them.
To learn from my mistake, I strongly recommend control over television programs and even computer or Internet games. Keep them wholesome until the child demonstrates his value system and of course, make sure that value system holds the correct values!
So we asked Xavier to cooperate by watching only Playhouse Disney when Keane and Ryan are at home or awake. He has agreed. Thankfully he is mature and also has the big brother nature in him. I think it's also due to his education from school and wholesome programs.
Nowadays the television programs are varied and we can see more adult themes incorporated into children's programs. What used to be wholesome and innocent, Ala Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, has now mutated into mindless and violent shows. Look at what happened to Mickey Mouse clubber Britney Spears and you know what I mean, though the violence may not apply in her case? I wouldn't know as I'm not a fan.
I hope it's not too late to reverse the damage done to Keane and Ryan. Ryan is also showing an unusual tendency towards inflicting pain on others. He walks around with weapons like a toy baseball bat or the cane and swings the weapons at anything and almost anyone. And he laughs after he hits a target! Is that normal? I seriously don't think so......
He also favours pinching although he only pinches people he is familiar with, meaning not me! He pinches his dad and the helper. I like to think that he doesn't pinch me cos he adores me. Why? Because I'm a sucker for his cries and never fails to release him from his playpen prison whenever I'm home. I do that because I don't want him to feel deprived of freedom and abuse it when he gets freedom in childcare next year. Keane used to be "locked up" in the playpen before he went to childcare. Once he started attending childcare, he behaved like he never saw the light of day before. He would run out of his class and even attempted to run out of the school compounds! Breaking Out of Alcatraz in the making. Now you know why I prefer to let Ryan enjoy his freedom whenever he gets the chance.
Hey, I'm getting the hang of blogging again.....**evil smile and snigger**....hope the feeling lasts!!!! Later....
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Curtains up......
Yesterday was the long awaited school concert. The theme was journey through the ages. We had pseudo box seats in the upper gallery. The view of the entire stage was good but the seats were positioned such that we had to crane our necks to get a good view.
Nonetheless, we waited with anticipation and fear for Keane's item - Cavemen Dance. While we waited we had fears that he would throw a tantrum and be pulled out of the dance at the last minute. What if he cried halfway through the dance? What if he ran off the stage in the middle?
After the initial speeches, graduation of K2 students and introduction events, the concert finally began. After the snowball dance by some of Xavier's classmates, it was time for the Cavemen Dance. While the group was getting ready backstage, we could hear Keane shouting. Oh no....was it beginning already?
The curtains parted and there we saw our baby dressed like a caveman holding onto a club. He looked so adorable with his spiky hair. He looked around and then yelled "Hello!" and waved to the audience. The audience fell in love with all the little cavemen and cave women. The music started and they started their routine. Each time just before they had to changed what they were doing, Keane would shout "Stop" and then move on to the next step. It was amazing that he could remember all the steps on cue. He kept looking around and then saw us and shouted "Daddy! Mummy!" He wanted to walk towards us but I signalled for him to continue with his dance. To my amazement, he did. It was totally unexpected behaviour. He went through the entire dance and did everything correctly. He was right on cue. We were very proud. Of course, he still had to show his individualism at the end of the dance. Instead of running off to the side like the rest of his friends, he chose to explore. Tried to come towards us. After we told him to go back again, he decided to check out the microphone to the laughter of the audience. All in all, it was an excellent performance by Keane and he made us very proud.
After several other dances, we finally came to Xavier's Spice Kids dance. He looked very cool with his red Levi's t-shirt, woolly cap, 501 jeans and black suede shoes. Xavier did very well too, as expected. He never had any issues with performing over the past 3 years and he didn't this time either. In fact, he also did an excellent job. Remembered all the steps on cue and executed them well. He also had a good time, smiling as he was dancing. Xavier was cool personified.
During the finale, Keane threw a tantrum as he wanted to come down the stage to his dad. He was pulled away from the stage and pacified to wait for his turn. As he came back on stage with his classmates, he was crying. In fact, he was grumbling more than crying. He still doesn't express his needs verbally and chooses to grumble or cry whenever he is upset. When he was handed over to us, he was still grumbling a little. He calmed down when we started taking his photos.
After a quick snack at the tea buffet, and ordering concert rehearsal photos, we left to bring both of them for a treat. It was a reward for an excellent job by both of them. We went for japanese food - Xavier's favourtie and ordered Keane's must-have chocolate ice-cream. Both of them had a fantastic time.
I realized that Keane thrived on praises, like all kids. Even though he doesn't express himself often, it is evident that he absorbs everything that goes on around him. He never fails to surprise us with one or two unexpected observations, which are becoming less rare nowadays. This is something I am grateful for. He is making headway, albeit minute and slow progress. I told myself that I will spend more time with him and lavish him with praises more often. I hope this will help him make more progress towards his speech development.
I had a super long weekend - I took the afternoon off on Thursday as I was unwell, it was a public holiday on Friday. I didn't work at all from Thursday afternoon. I'm going to download my emails and go through the routine pc check by the company. Better to do it on Sunday than Monday in the office. The remaining month of 2009 will be a hectic one and I can't wait for it all to come to an end. 2010 promises to be exciting and one without resolutions. I've learnt that my resolutions never sustain themselves due to my lack of effort. I realize that I live for the moment and I am not good at planning ahead with my personal life. Workwise, of course I plan and make headway almost to plan. Don't ask me why the difference.......more analysis next week.
Nonetheless, we waited with anticipation and fear for Keane's item - Cavemen Dance. While we waited we had fears that he would throw a tantrum and be pulled out of the dance at the last minute. What if he cried halfway through the dance? What if he ran off the stage in the middle?
After the initial speeches, graduation of K2 students and introduction events, the concert finally began. After the snowball dance by some of Xavier's classmates, it was time for the Cavemen Dance. While the group was getting ready backstage, we could hear Keane shouting. Oh no....was it beginning already?
The curtains parted and there we saw our baby dressed like a caveman holding onto a club. He looked so adorable with his spiky hair. He looked around and then yelled "Hello!" and waved to the audience. The audience fell in love with all the little cavemen and cave women. The music started and they started their routine. Each time just before they had to changed what they were doing, Keane would shout "Stop" and then move on to the next step. It was amazing that he could remember all the steps on cue. He kept looking around and then saw us and shouted "Daddy! Mummy!" He wanted to walk towards us but I signalled for him to continue with his dance. To my amazement, he did. It was totally unexpected behaviour. He went through the entire dance and did everything correctly. He was right on cue. We were very proud. Of course, he still had to show his individualism at the end of the dance. Instead of running off to the side like the rest of his friends, he chose to explore. Tried to come towards us. After we told him to go back again, he decided to check out the microphone to the laughter of the audience. All in all, it was an excellent performance by Keane and he made us very proud.
After several other dances, we finally came to Xavier's Spice Kids dance. He looked very cool with his red Levi's t-shirt, woolly cap, 501 jeans and black suede shoes. Xavier did very well too, as expected. He never had any issues with performing over the past 3 years and he didn't this time either. In fact, he also did an excellent job. Remembered all the steps on cue and executed them well. He also had a good time, smiling as he was dancing. Xavier was cool personified.
During the finale, Keane threw a tantrum as he wanted to come down the stage to his dad. He was pulled away from the stage and pacified to wait for his turn. As he came back on stage with his classmates, he was crying. In fact, he was grumbling more than crying. He still doesn't express his needs verbally and chooses to grumble or cry whenever he is upset. When he was handed over to us, he was still grumbling a little. He calmed down when we started taking his photos.
After a quick snack at the tea buffet, and ordering concert rehearsal photos, we left to bring both of them for a treat. It was a reward for an excellent job by both of them. We went for japanese food - Xavier's favourtie and ordered Keane's must-have chocolate ice-cream. Both of them had a fantastic time.
I realized that Keane thrived on praises, like all kids. Even though he doesn't express himself often, it is evident that he absorbs everything that goes on around him. He never fails to surprise us with one or two unexpected observations, which are becoming less rare nowadays. This is something I am grateful for. He is making headway, albeit minute and slow progress. I told myself that I will spend more time with him and lavish him with praises more often. I hope this will help him make more progress towards his speech development.
I had a super long weekend - I took the afternoon off on Thursday as I was unwell, it was a public holiday on Friday. I didn't work at all from Thursday afternoon. I'm going to download my emails and go through the routine pc check by the company. Better to do it on Sunday than Monday in the office. The remaining month of 2009 will be a hectic one and I can't wait for it all to come to an end. 2010 promises to be exciting and one without resolutions. I've learnt that my resolutions never sustain themselves due to my lack of effort. I realize that I live for the moment and I am not good at planning ahead with my personal life. Workwise, of course I plan and make headway almost to plan. Don't ask me why the difference.......more analysis next week.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Kudos to new teaching methods for Chinese
Recently MM Lee sparked off a torrent of debate when he acknowledged that he may have made a bad choice by assuming that we can learn 2 languages at the same level.
Some parents agree that we should make some changes in the teaching methods, in order to make learning Chinese more fun and interesting. Someone wrote to The Straits Times to disagree.
I'm sure my friend Gabriel would support the move wholeheartedly. I remember he had a hard time learning Chinese in school. My own experience wasn't that bad. But I distinctly remember that I had a Chinese teacher Ms Chong who made learning Chinese during my Secondary 3 year very fun. She used some English to explain certain Chinese phrases and these stuck to me for life, although I don't use them often.
I had the initial fear when I was selecting a child care center for Xavier. I knew that I wasn't that proficient in Chinese as I was in English. So I have to depend on someone else to teach my sons proper Chinese. Fortunately I picked the right center and both Xavier and Keane can speak Chinese. At least they can understand what we say to them and can respond pretty well. I don't ask for them to be scholars in the language but at least be able to hold a decent conversation and read most Chinese words.
Recently, after my trips to Shanghai and much project work related to China, I find that my Chinese has improved with increased usage. I can actually type in Chinese (thanks to hanyu pinyin!) Isn't that way cool? Ok, maybe I'm bragging a little but coming from a convent school, I think I've done pretty well. My teachers would have been proud!
The key to learning is to be unabashed about acknowledging your ignorance. Ask questions, find out whatever you don't know. Hunger for knowledge is the key to knowledge itself. Pride can only bring about the downfall of any man no matter how intelligent he is.
I feel that we should inculcate this sense of hunger in our children. That is the way to education. Dishing out tons of information will not help as much as if they did the research and carry out their own quest for knowledge. I believe that this is a fact that is gaining more recognition among our present educators. I will try my best to inculcate this in my kids as well. Although I must admit that the flesh is most weak.
This Saturday is the school concert. Xavier is pretty excited. Keane has been throwing tantrums in school during rehearsals. He might be pulled out last minute if he is not cooperative on Saturday. I don't blame the teachers. I ask God to help Keane make it to the performance. The fella has not had as much exposure or opportunities as Xavier.
Xavier is the real epitome of precious first born (FBC) without any intent. It just happened naturally like I described in an earlier entry. I'm trying to change things moving forward. No point moping about the past.
Anyway, shall keep one and all posted of the concert.....wish them luck!
Some parents agree that we should make some changes in the teaching methods, in order to make learning Chinese more fun and interesting. Someone wrote to The Straits Times to disagree.
I'm sure my friend Gabriel would support the move wholeheartedly. I remember he had a hard time learning Chinese in school. My own experience wasn't that bad. But I distinctly remember that I had a Chinese teacher Ms Chong who made learning Chinese during my Secondary 3 year very fun. She used some English to explain certain Chinese phrases and these stuck to me for life, although I don't use them often.
I had the initial fear when I was selecting a child care center for Xavier. I knew that I wasn't that proficient in Chinese as I was in English. So I have to depend on someone else to teach my sons proper Chinese. Fortunately I picked the right center and both Xavier and Keane can speak Chinese. At least they can understand what we say to them and can respond pretty well. I don't ask for them to be scholars in the language but at least be able to hold a decent conversation and read most Chinese words.
Recently, after my trips to Shanghai and much project work related to China, I find that my Chinese has improved with increased usage. I can actually type in Chinese (thanks to hanyu pinyin!) Isn't that way cool? Ok, maybe I'm bragging a little but coming from a convent school, I think I've done pretty well. My teachers would have been proud!
The key to learning is to be unabashed about acknowledging your ignorance. Ask questions, find out whatever you don't know. Hunger for knowledge is the key to knowledge itself. Pride can only bring about the downfall of any man no matter how intelligent he is.
I feel that we should inculcate this sense of hunger in our children. That is the way to education. Dishing out tons of information will not help as much as if they did the research and carry out their own quest for knowledge. I believe that this is a fact that is gaining more recognition among our present educators. I will try my best to inculcate this in my kids as well. Although I must admit that the flesh is most weak.
This Saturday is the school concert. Xavier is pretty excited. Keane has been throwing tantrums in school during rehearsals. He might be pulled out last minute if he is not cooperative on Saturday. I don't blame the teachers. I ask God to help Keane make it to the performance. The fella has not had as much exposure or opportunities as Xavier.
Xavier is the real epitome of precious first born (FBC) without any intent. It just happened naturally like I described in an earlier entry. I'm trying to change things moving forward. No point moping about the past.
Anyway, shall keep one and all posted of the concert.....wish them luck!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Home is where I go
Returned home from Shanghai this morning.....
Spent the day or rather the afternoon with the kids. I crashed when I reached home. Thought I could last the whole day but boy was I wrong, so very wrong.
Woke up in time to go out for lunch - Xavier's favourite japanese food. The whole family loves japanese food. After a pretty enjoyable lunch, we went shopping for toys. The boys have a habit of browsing for a very long time bfore deciding on their buy. I think it's because they want everything and are unwilling to give up any. The process of elimination can be pretty interesting. Xavier started with Lego but ended up with a styracasaurus from the Dinosaur King collection.
Keane ended up with a bus. Ryan wanted Leo from Little Einsteins but it was deftly removed from his grasp.
On the way home Keane started saying "Anybulan" several times. It took several failed attempts before we realized he was pointing to an ambulance. The police car was a "Pussy Car" and traffic lights were "Trassic Lights". But he still managed to do coffeeshop perfectly. It was great to see him increase his vocabulary.
I crashed again after we came home in the afternoon. I wonder whether it was because I was tired or I was missing my caffeine fix.
My next trip to Shanghai may be in December, depending on my boss and how the project pans out over the next few weeks. I look forward to going back to this authentic japanese restaurant near the Holiday Inn Pudong Shanghai on Dong Fang Road. Reasonably priced and good. Pasta Fresca at the Thumb Plaza was also a good place. It would be very cold if I went back in December. Would need to be prepared.
No matter where I go, I will always return home....
Spent the day or rather the afternoon with the kids. I crashed when I reached home. Thought I could last the whole day but boy was I wrong, so very wrong.
Woke up in time to go out for lunch - Xavier's favourite japanese food. The whole family loves japanese food. After a pretty enjoyable lunch, we went shopping for toys. The boys have a habit of browsing for a very long time bfore deciding on their buy. I think it's because they want everything and are unwilling to give up any. The process of elimination can be pretty interesting. Xavier started with Lego but ended up with a styracasaurus from the Dinosaur King collection.
Keane ended up with a bus. Ryan wanted Leo from Little Einsteins but it was deftly removed from his grasp.
On the way home Keane started saying "Anybulan" several times. It took several failed attempts before we realized he was pointing to an ambulance. The police car was a "Pussy Car" and traffic lights were "Trassic Lights". But he still managed to do coffeeshop perfectly. It was great to see him increase his vocabulary.
I crashed again after we came home in the afternoon. I wonder whether it was because I was tired or I was missing my caffeine fix.
My next trip to Shanghai may be in December, depending on my boss and how the project pans out over the next few weeks. I look forward to going back to this authentic japanese restaurant near the Holiday Inn Pudong Shanghai on Dong Fang Road. Reasonably priced and good. Pasta Fresca at the Thumb Plaza was also a good place. It would be very cold if I went back in December. Would need to be prepared.
No matter where I go, I will always return home....
Friday, November 6, 2009
Away from home......
I know I've been lazy, and haven't been updating my blog as often as I wished I did. I admit my laziness without shame.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind rush. I was in Shanghai for the week of Oct 19. Then I cam home for the weekend before departing for 10 days in Manila.
I came back last night and I'm flying out to Shanghai again for another week.
Some people may call it jet setting. Others think it's a pure torture. Well, I'd like to think of it as an adventure and escape.
Personally, I like to travel and despite the complains I hear people make when they have to travel, I secretly think that they relish the travel but they want to make it seem like a sacrifice when they have to travel for work. Hence the whining about the travel.
I like to travel because I can see the world. Something which I love. I enjoy freedom and the ability to move about on my own. The downside is I miss my kids. The upside is I miss my kids. Why do I say that? Well, I miss having them around but then again I don't miss having them around to create a ruckus. Am I trying to shirk responsibilities as a mom? Yeah.....kidding.
I packed my bags at 6 today and rushed home to be with my kids whom I've not seen in 10 days. All of us went to the shopping mall near our home for a meal. Well, dinner for the hubby and myself. Dessert for the kids. Oh the joy they expressed when they saw me walk into the day this evening totally swept me away. And filled me with guilt. How can I want to be away from these 3 adorable monsters? That's a question I cannot really put my finger to. I mean, I love them, don't think otherwise. They are the love of my life. But I don't want to be with them 24 hours. I wouldn't be able to take it. Am I a bad mom?
I dislike travelling with colleagues. That puts the trip into a whole new ballgame which comes with a truckload of obligations. I mean, if you are in a group, you'd feel obliged to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Maybe go out together. To me, that's pretty painful. I admit that I'm a travel anti-social. Actually I am pretty much a selective anti-social. I like to wake up at my own time, eat breakfast on my own, read a book while I eat, then move at my own pace. Sometimes I feel dragged down by others. Having to wait for everyone to turn up for breakfast, to finish eating the last morsel of cereal or drinking that last drop of coffee. Yes, everyone will say, don't worry, you don't have to wait for us. But somehow, you know it is easier said then done. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
This week I'll be travelling with someone I didn't really want to travel with. My boss. I'm going to try to go on my own for once. He thinks he's taking care of me when we have meals and all together, but really, I wish I was alone. I just want to do my own thing, you know. I'm not someone who must have company all the time. I prefer to be free by myself. Am I weird?
I watched the movie Julie & Julia or vice versa on the plane. This girl was so determined to blog her way through a book of more than 500 recipes in a year and she succeeded. And she put me to shame. She took her blogging as a serious project and she made it as an official writer as a result. Will that ever happen to me? I wish. Are you out there reading this? Are you a publisher? Do you think I'm good enough?
Keane is making huge progress in his speech. Maybe it's because I haven't really seen him in 2 weeks. He can instruct me to "Go bathe" when he saw me near the bathroom. He could also say short phrases like "Watch Out!" and "Oh wow!". To me, that's great. The most fantastic achievement I saw him make was to say "coffeeshop" accurately today. Music to my hears.
Ryan's begnning to show signs of readiness for toilet training. He can make mm-mm noises when he needs to poop. He will then sit on the trainer toilet seat and do his stuff. He's cool. The other day, when I was away, he attempted to make his way out of the play pen by climbing over the edge. He fell and never did it again. That involved some crying and stuff but he recovered very fast.
Xavier is showing signs of having good perspective. He can draw cars with the wheels in the right place and in the correct size relative to the body of the car. Is that also perspective? Not too sure....but you get what I mean. I think that's excellent.
Nov 28 is the year end school graduation ceremony cum celebration for Xavier and Keane. They are performing during the concert. It's Keane's first public performance and I'm looking forward to it. He missed his chance last year because the teachers were worried that he'd do his own thing and not follow the group. He had a habit of making off on his own to explore. The teachers wouldn't have the ability to hold him back. Bit like his old mom, don't you think?
Well I have to go back to work now.....it's been a hell of a day but it ain't over till the fat lady sings and this fat lady ain't singing none yet....
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind rush. I was in Shanghai for the week of Oct 19. Then I cam home for the weekend before departing for 10 days in Manila.
I came back last night and I'm flying out to Shanghai again for another week.
Some people may call it jet setting. Others think it's a pure torture. Well, I'd like to think of it as an adventure and escape.
Personally, I like to travel and despite the complains I hear people make when they have to travel, I secretly think that they relish the travel but they want to make it seem like a sacrifice when they have to travel for work. Hence the whining about the travel.
I like to travel because I can see the world. Something which I love. I enjoy freedom and the ability to move about on my own. The downside is I miss my kids. The upside is I miss my kids. Why do I say that? Well, I miss having them around but then again I don't miss having them around to create a ruckus. Am I trying to shirk responsibilities as a mom? Yeah.....kidding.
I packed my bags at 6 today and rushed home to be with my kids whom I've not seen in 10 days. All of us went to the shopping mall near our home for a meal. Well, dinner for the hubby and myself. Dessert for the kids. Oh the joy they expressed when they saw me walk into the day this evening totally swept me away. And filled me with guilt. How can I want to be away from these 3 adorable monsters? That's a question I cannot really put my finger to. I mean, I love them, don't think otherwise. They are the love of my life. But I don't want to be with them 24 hours. I wouldn't be able to take it. Am I a bad mom?
I dislike travelling with colleagues. That puts the trip into a whole new ballgame which comes with a truckload of obligations. I mean, if you are in a group, you'd feel obliged to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Maybe go out together. To me, that's pretty painful. I admit that I'm a travel anti-social. Actually I am pretty much a selective anti-social. I like to wake up at my own time, eat breakfast on my own, read a book while I eat, then move at my own pace. Sometimes I feel dragged down by others. Having to wait for everyone to turn up for breakfast, to finish eating the last morsel of cereal or drinking that last drop of coffee. Yes, everyone will say, don't worry, you don't have to wait for us. But somehow, you know it is easier said then done. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
This week I'll be travelling with someone I didn't really want to travel with. My boss. I'm going to try to go on my own for once. He thinks he's taking care of me when we have meals and all together, but really, I wish I was alone. I just want to do my own thing, you know. I'm not someone who must have company all the time. I prefer to be free by myself. Am I weird?
I watched the movie Julie & Julia or vice versa on the plane. This girl was so determined to blog her way through a book of more than 500 recipes in a year and she succeeded. And she put me to shame. She took her blogging as a serious project and she made it as an official writer as a result. Will that ever happen to me? I wish. Are you out there reading this? Are you a publisher? Do you think I'm good enough?
Keane is making huge progress in his speech. Maybe it's because I haven't really seen him in 2 weeks. He can instruct me to "Go bathe" when he saw me near the bathroom. He could also say short phrases like "Watch Out!" and "Oh wow!". To me, that's great. The most fantastic achievement I saw him make was to say "coffeeshop" accurately today. Music to my hears.
Ryan's begnning to show signs of readiness for toilet training. He can make mm-mm noises when he needs to poop. He will then sit on the trainer toilet seat and do his stuff. He's cool. The other day, when I was away, he attempted to make his way out of the play pen by climbing over the edge. He fell and never did it again. That involved some crying and stuff but he recovered very fast.
Xavier is showing signs of having good perspective. He can draw cars with the wheels in the right place and in the correct size relative to the body of the car. Is that also perspective? Not too sure....but you get what I mean. I think that's excellent.
Nov 28 is the year end school graduation ceremony cum celebration for Xavier and Keane. They are performing during the concert. It's Keane's first public performance and I'm looking forward to it. He missed his chance last year because the teachers were worried that he'd do his own thing and not follow the group. He had a habit of making off on his own to explore. The teachers wouldn't have the ability to hold him back. Bit like his old mom, don't you think?
Well I have to go back to work now.....it's been a hell of a day but it ain't over till the fat lady sings and this fat lady ain't singing none yet....
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I'm back......again....
I didn't realize that it's been that long since I posted an entry. Thanks for the reminder Linda!
I know now that I do have an international audience....ok, not so international, only SG and US. And I'm glad I asked Jerry (my truly American reader) about my blog and found out that it was such a hassle to leave a comment. And here I was, wondering if anyone was actually reading my blog. Although it was never meant to be a public source of information, it does help to know that there are people out there who were interested in what I had to say.
Anyway, I just came back from a week of training support in Shanghai. Something's not right when you download your emails on Friday at 5pm, login again at noon on Sunday and find a warning that your mailbox's almost full! Totally ridiculous.
I'm due to travel to Manila on Tuesday (27 Oct) for about 9 days (subject to change, depending on the work situation). This is to support system implementation. Don't even ask me to get started on that project, cos I don't want to start getting rude online.
We had another trip to the zoo last weekend, before I left for Shanghai. It was another fun filled day, although I think our trips to the zoo are not as educational as some others might make it out to be. We typically head off to the Rainforest Kidzworld for the kids to play at the water playground first. That's followed by a carousel ride before we explore the other parts of the zoo. By the time we actually get started on the tour of the zoo, the both of them (Xavier and Keane) are pretty tired. So we manage only about 5 animals before breaking for lunch. Lunch actually signifies the end of the outing. My hubby's generally not someone who can go on an outing for more than half a day. Besides, we have to drop by at the grandparents' every Saturday.
Xavier is showing more maturity as the days go by. He is totally detached, which can be a good thing. No whining about me not spending time with him and all that. But is that good in the long run? I don't know and I won't try to find out. I'm also very detached myself. Five days in Shanghai, and I only call home on Friday, after an sms to announce my safe arrival on Monday. Terrible huh? Other than Xavier, I think Keane and Ryan may not miss me that much, since I'm not really there most days anyway. Am I being a terrible mom?
Keane is talking in more coherent sentences nowadays. Ok, not full sentences but at least he is string a couple of words together. I worry about him a little but I think it will all work out. The latest thing we are into with Keane now is to do a roll call, like how they would in school.
Dad: 陈炜衡！(Keane's chinese name)
Keane: 到！ (Here!)
Dad: 陈毅恩！ (Xavier's chinese name)
Keane: 在这里（here....and proceeds to point at Xavier)
Dad: "Keane's classmate's name, which I can never remember"
Keane: 没有来！(didn't come)
It's hilarious cos Keane then makes a game out of it by doing a roll call for everyone in the car. This is a huge improvement for him, even though it might be something that other kids can do very competently much earlier than Keane. I appreciate every step he takes towards his speech, no matter how tiny. I feel comforted when he picks up the Hop on Pop book by Dr Seuss. It's his favourite although it took him more than 3 years to decide to pick up a book.
Ryan appears to be the most intelligent of the lot. He can now call 哥哥(brother), daddy, aunty, 公公（maternal grandpa), 婆婆 (maternal grandma), 阿妈 (paternal grandma), 爷爷(paternal grandpa)....all but mummy.....I think I'm ah-mmmmmm but that remains to be determined. Initially I thought Ryan was the most clingy of the 3 and I guessed it was because of the month that I spent with him at home after his operation. Whenever he sees me, he wants me to carry him. After a while, I'm not so sure. I think he's manipulative cos I'm the only person who will carry him out of the playpen. Why do we put him in the playpen then? He's a typical toddler who would not stop moving and touching stuff. He climbs pretty quick as well.
Ryan has a pretty high EQ. Whenever the dad scolds anyone of them, he'll keep quiet. If we tell him off, for touching the vase or doing something dangerous, he will cry. I yelled at him this morning as he was pushing the vase, which was as tall as he is, and it was swaying. He then went to lie down on the bean bag and had that comtemplative look on his face. His eyes were slightly wet with tears and he had a slight pout. I went over and explained why I yelled, gave him a kiss, and he was off in a second, with a smile on his face and off to his next adventure.
Xavier and Keane are both participating in the school's year end concert. I am so looking forward to it since it will be Keane's first stage performance.
A couple of weeks back, I went to the Formula 1 practice day event, courtesy of the Company. I took part in a Founder's Day contest by creating a craft work with a colleague. Both of us won tickets and had a great time. We were able to go for a walk in the pit lane and had a tour of the BMW Sauber garage. It was an eye-opening experience. Pretty cool.
I haven't been having an easy time at work. But I'm not complaining. I'll just manage things to the best I can. If something fails, too bad.
Shanghai was fun in a weird way. I didn't go out shopping or sightseeing. But I had the chance to meet people whom I've been corresponding with. It was good to put a face to the name and voice. The people I met were all friendly. We had a group dinner on Wednesday night and we had such a fun time, I laughed almost non-stop throughout dinner. I only wished I had more time in Shanghai. During the first night at the hotel, I was bitching to myself. This hotel is weird, there's a glass window between the toilet and the bedroom - why the hell would they want this? Actually I think it is a trend now, to allow you to watch a movie while soaking in the tub. But this tub was facing the wrong way....the taps were at the place where your head needs to be if you wanted to face the TV. I didn't want to sleep with that window, looking into the toilet so I tried to figure out how to lower the blind. After some time then I realize that it was an electric shade - silly me. Then there were 2 single beds, one facing a door (leading to another room) and one facing a mirror. Obviously not good. So I had to drape a towel over the mirror and settle into that bed facing the mirror. Then the next night, the internet service was cut off while I doing my work. Then the following night, there was a power surge, so I heard a couple of bangs (sounded like someone knocking on my door), the lights started flashing and the television went off. It took me about 5 minutes to convince myself I wasn't having a visitor from another dimension. And we're talking about the Four Points by Sheraton, no less.
My hotel reservation was screwed up so I had to move to a service apartment on Thursday. It was even creepier cos the apartment had 2 bedrooms, a living room, a small dining room, a tiny kitchen and 1 toilet with a shower. I couldn't decide which room was less creepy. The TV, my sustenance at night, was in the living room.....but I had a glimmer of hope when I saw a glass window behind the couch, between the living room and a bedroom. I told myself - aha! this "window between rooms" invention does have a benefit after all. I raised the blinds and voila! Frosted glass. Darn. So I had to comfort myself with work and chatting online with some friends from work.
I was very impressed by the Maglev which I took to/from the airport. It saved me a lot of time in travel and was cheap. The food portions in restaurants were huge and we always cannot finish the food. Talk about wastage, I felt bad but I couldn't stuff myself with another piece of meat. Luckily there was always fish on the table. I actually ate some beef during the steamboat, something which I normally don't do.
So there you have my experience in Shanghai. I really want to go back there again. If I do, I'll make sure to find some time to explore the place.
I'll try to update my blog again when I'm in Manila.
I know now that I do have an international audience....ok, not so international, only SG and US. And I'm glad I asked Jerry (my truly American reader) about my blog and found out that it was such a hassle to leave a comment. And here I was, wondering if anyone was actually reading my blog. Although it was never meant to be a public source of information, it does help to know that there are people out there who were interested in what I had to say.
Anyway, I just came back from a week of training support in Shanghai. Something's not right when you download your emails on Friday at 5pm, login again at noon on Sunday and find a warning that your mailbox's almost full! Totally ridiculous.
I'm due to travel to Manila on Tuesday (27 Oct) for about 9 days (subject to change, depending on the work situation). This is to support system implementation. Don't even ask me to get started on that project, cos I don't want to start getting rude online.
We had another trip to the zoo last weekend, before I left for Shanghai. It was another fun filled day, although I think our trips to the zoo are not as educational as some others might make it out to be. We typically head off to the Rainforest Kidzworld for the kids to play at the water playground first. That's followed by a carousel ride before we explore the other parts of the zoo. By the time we actually get started on the tour of the zoo, the both of them (Xavier and Keane) are pretty tired. So we manage only about 5 animals before breaking for lunch. Lunch actually signifies the end of the outing. My hubby's generally not someone who can go on an outing for more than half a day. Besides, we have to drop by at the grandparents' every Saturday.
Xavier is showing more maturity as the days go by. He is totally detached, which can be a good thing. No whining about me not spending time with him and all that. But is that good in the long run? I don't know and I won't try to find out. I'm also very detached myself. Five days in Shanghai, and I only call home on Friday, after an sms to announce my safe arrival on Monday. Terrible huh? Other than Xavier, I think Keane and Ryan may not miss me that much, since I'm not really there most days anyway. Am I being a terrible mom?
Keane is talking in more coherent sentences nowadays. Ok, not full sentences but at least he is string a couple of words together. I worry about him a little but I think it will all work out. The latest thing we are into with Keane now is to do a roll call, like how they would in school.
Dad: 陈炜衡！(Keane's chinese name)
Keane: 到！ (Here!)
Dad: 陈毅恩！ (Xavier's chinese name)
Keane: 在这里（here....and proceeds to point at Xavier)
Dad: "Keane's classmate's name, which I can never remember"
Keane: 没有来！(didn't come)
It's hilarious cos Keane then makes a game out of it by doing a roll call for everyone in the car. This is a huge improvement for him, even though it might be something that other kids can do very competently much earlier than Keane. I appreciate every step he takes towards his speech, no matter how tiny. I feel comforted when he picks up the Hop on Pop book by Dr Seuss. It's his favourite although it took him more than 3 years to decide to pick up a book.
Ryan appears to be the most intelligent of the lot. He can now call 哥哥(brother), daddy, aunty, 公公（maternal grandpa), 婆婆 (maternal grandma), 阿妈 (paternal grandma), 爷爷(paternal grandpa)....all but mummy.....I think I'm ah-mmmmmm but that remains to be determined. Initially I thought Ryan was the most clingy of the 3 and I guessed it was because of the month that I spent with him at home after his operation. Whenever he sees me, he wants me to carry him. After a while, I'm not so sure. I think he's manipulative cos I'm the only person who will carry him out of the playpen. Why do we put him in the playpen then? He's a typical toddler who would not stop moving and touching stuff. He climbs pretty quick as well.
Ryan has a pretty high EQ. Whenever the dad scolds anyone of them, he'll keep quiet. If we tell him off, for touching the vase or doing something dangerous, he will cry. I yelled at him this morning as he was pushing the vase, which was as tall as he is, and it was swaying. He then went to lie down on the bean bag and had that comtemplative look on his face. His eyes were slightly wet with tears and he had a slight pout. I went over and explained why I yelled, gave him a kiss, and he was off in a second, with a smile on his face and off to his next adventure.
Xavier and Keane are both participating in the school's year end concert. I am so looking forward to it since it will be Keane's first stage performance.
A couple of weeks back, I went to the Formula 1 practice day event, courtesy of the Company. I took part in a Founder's Day contest by creating a craft work with a colleague. Both of us won tickets and had a great time. We were able to go for a walk in the pit lane and had a tour of the BMW Sauber garage. It was an eye-opening experience. Pretty cool.
I haven't been having an easy time at work. But I'm not complaining. I'll just manage things to the best I can. If something fails, too bad.
Shanghai was fun in a weird way. I didn't go out shopping or sightseeing. But I had the chance to meet people whom I've been corresponding with. It was good to put a face to the name and voice. The people I met were all friendly. We had a group dinner on Wednesday night and we had such a fun time, I laughed almost non-stop throughout dinner. I only wished I had more time in Shanghai. During the first night at the hotel, I was bitching to myself. This hotel is weird, there's a glass window between the toilet and the bedroom - why the hell would they want this? Actually I think it is a trend now, to allow you to watch a movie while soaking in the tub. But this tub was facing the wrong way....the taps were at the place where your head needs to be if you wanted to face the TV. I didn't want to sleep with that window, looking into the toilet so I tried to figure out how to lower the blind. After some time then I realize that it was an electric shade - silly me. Then there were 2 single beds, one facing a door (leading to another room) and one facing a mirror. Obviously not good. So I had to drape a towel over the mirror and settle into that bed facing the mirror. Then the next night, the internet service was cut off while I doing my work. Then the following night, there was a power surge, so I heard a couple of bangs (sounded like someone knocking on my door), the lights started flashing and the television went off. It took me about 5 minutes to convince myself I wasn't having a visitor from another dimension. And we're talking about the Four Points by Sheraton, no less.
My hotel reservation was screwed up so I had to move to a service apartment on Thursday. It was even creepier cos the apartment had 2 bedrooms, a living room, a small dining room, a tiny kitchen and 1 toilet with a shower. I couldn't decide which room was less creepy. The TV, my sustenance at night, was in the living room.....but I had a glimmer of hope when I saw a glass window behind the couch, between the living room and a bedroom. I told myself - aha! this "window between rooms" invention does have a benefit after all. I raised the blinds and voila! Frosted glass. Darn. So I had to comfort myself with work and chatting online with some friends from work.
I was very impressed by the Maglev which I took to/from the airport. It saved me a lot of time in travel and was cheap. The food portions in restaurants were huge and we always cannot finish the food. Talk about wastage, I felt bad but I couldn't stuff myself with another piece of meat. Luckily there was always fish on the table. I actually ate some beef during the steamboat, something which I normally don't do.
So there you have my experience in Shanghai. I really want to go back there again. If I do, I'll make sure to find some time to explore the place.
I'll try to update my blog again when I'm in Manila.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The National Rally 2009
Just finished watching the telecast of the Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong speaking at the National Day Rally. The most interesting part of his speech was the part where he showed the progress of Singapore over the years from the 1960s to date. It is amazing to see how the nation has changed so much.
No more talk of babies tonight. Has the government given up? A recent article in the papers reported that despite the amount of bonus payouts, the number of births have not increased. Why do people not want to have children? Many people say it's not easy to have children. It is a costly process and a very heavy responsibility which comes with the commitment.
What does it take to encourage our people to have babies? I think it's not just the monetary incentives. We need a change in mindset. The inculcation of family values from young is very important. But with today's educated society which is open to many channels of information, it is not easy to do that. When we watch a movie, surf the internet, read a book, listen to the radio or watch television, we receive many messages. It may be a blatant "in your face" type of message or it may be a sublimal one. Whatever we hear, however seemingly trivial, will have an effect on us.
Keane is now able to string 2 or 3 words into a phrase although he still sticks to the basics. But what is cool now is that he occasionally picks up a book to ask me to read it to him. This is a huge leap from his behaviour in the beginning of this year. He knows when to say thank you when someone does something for him. But he still has a habit of yelling or throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. I suspect it's because he is still unable to vocalize his needs and the easiest way, from his past experience, seems to be to throw a tantrum. We are now making an effort to show him that a tantrum is not the way to go. Why do I say it is an effort? It's normally easier to just give in to him and have instant peace once he receives gratification. But that is not the best way to handle things, not for his development anyway. So I'm making an effort to spend more time with him and explain things to him more. I hope it will work. But according to a colleague of mine, "HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY!". He gave me this quote from one of his ex managers. So we'll have to commit to educating Keane and make a plan, so says Peter Drucker.
I heard about the Precious First Born theory over the radio. It seems that parents pay much more attention to their first borns than they do to their subsequent children. It seems that first borns are more favoured over the rest. The first borns get their diapers changed faster than the second or later. Parents are more anxious about their first borns. Personally I think it's a natural behaviour. With experience from taking care of the first born, parents tend not to over-react when something happens with the second or younger children. It's not that the second child is not as important. It's more like the parent has learnt that some things are not as life threatening as they thought it was before. It might also be that the parents are physically tired after taking care of the first baby. The second baby may be less of a novel and so doesn't get as much attention as the first. Is this a syndrome of unfairness? It depends on who you are of course.
I try to give equal attention to my 3 sons. And I really make an effort to try. But sometimes I find that I pay less attention to Xavier because he is the oldest and is now able to take care of himself in some areas so I don't watch over him as closely as I used to when he was younger. But I notice that he gets upset and tries to get my attention with some antics and tantrums. I realize that I must also give him my share of attention. He might not understand that I sometimes have to work late and cannot read to him before he sleeps or cannot go to sleep with him. A child would not have the reasoning of an adult. But he shows an exceptional understanding for a 5 year old. But that has its downside. How good can it be when my child knows that his mommy doesn't spend time with him because she has to work? It all boils down to work life balance. I'm not perfect so I cannot proclaim to do a good job. I can only say I try my best and ask God to take of the rest.
No more talk of babies tonight. Has the government given up? A recent article in the papers reported that despite the amount of bonus payouts, the number of births have not increased. Why do people not want to have children? Many people say it's not easy to have children. It is a costly process and a very heavy responsibility which comes with the commitment.
What does it take to encourage our people to have babies? I think it's not just the monetary incentives. We need a change in mindset. The inculcation of family values from young is very important. But with today's educated society which is open to many channels of information, it is not easy to do that. When we watch a movie, surf the internet, read a book, listen to the radio or watch television, we receive many messages. It may be a blatant "in your face" type of message or it may be a sublimal one. Whatever we hear, however seemingly trivial, will have an effect on us.
Keane is now able to string 2 or 3 words into a phrase although he still sticks to the basics. But what is cool now is that he occasionally picks up a book to ask me to read it to him. This is a huge leap from his behaviour in the beginning of this year. He knows when to say thank you when someone does something for him. But he still has a habit of yelling or throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. I suspect it's because he is still unable to vocalize his needs and the easiest way, from his past experience, seems to be to throw a tantrum. We are now making an effort to show him that a tantrum is not the way to go. Why do I say it is an effort? It's normally easier to just give in to him and have instant peace once he receives gratification. But that is not the best way to handle things, not for his development anyway. So I'm making an effort to spend more time with him and explain things to him more. I hope it will work. But according to a colleague of mine, "HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY!". He gave me this quote from one of his ex managers. So we'll have to commit to educating Keane and make a plan, so says Peter Drucker.
I heard about the Precious First Born theory over the radio. It seems that parents pay much more attention to their first borns than they do to their subsequent children. It seems that first borns are more favoured over the rest. The first borns get their diapers changed faster than the second or later. Parents are more anxious about their first borns. Personally I think it's a natural behaviour. With experience from taking care of the first born, parents tend not to over-react when something happens with the second or younger children. It's not that the second child is not as important. It's more like the parent has learnt that some things are not as life threatening as they thought it was before. It might also be that the parents are physically tired after taking care of the first baby. The second baby may be less of a novel and so doesn't get as much attention as the first. Is this a syndrome of unfairness? It depends on who you are of course.
I try to give equal attention to my 3 sons. And I really make an effort to try. But sometimes I find that I pay less attention to Xavier because he is the oldest and is now able to take care of himself in some areas so I don't watch over him as closely as I used to when he was younger. But I notice that he gets upset and tries to get my attention with some antics and tantrums. I realize that I must also give him my share of attention. He might not understand that I sometimes have to work late and cannot read to him before he sleeps or cannot go to sleep with him. A child would not have the reasoning of an adult. But he shows an exceptional understanding for a 5 year old. But that has its downside. How good can it be when my child knows that his mommy doesn't spend time with him because she has to work? It all boils down to work life balance. I'm not perfect so I cannot proclaim to do a good job. I can only say I try my best and ask God to take of the rest.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Relationships
Why am I blogging again today when my last post was what is considered very recent by my standards? I had a sudden surge of emotions following recently humbling events.
Today I want to write about relationships. There are many types of relationships between couples which we can observe, ranging from ideal to hellish. What is ideal and what is hellish? This varies person from person simply because we are human and we are different. Our state of emotion, opinions, attitudes and outlook all change over time. How we look at something today may not be the same perspective we adopt tomorrow. How we feel about an incident may vary depending on our state of emotion at that point.
What is my ideal relationship? I crave an open and honest relationship. I want to be able to share my feelings with my partner without having to consider his feelings, without worrying whether I hurt his pride or not. I am not talking about taking out my frustrations on him or saying hurtful things. I want to be able to say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't want to lie, I don't want to tell him things that he wants to hear just so that I will not hurt his feelings or pride. I want him to be able to know that I need him to understand how I feel. I want him to know that I tell him things which may hurt him or make him look bad because I want him to be a better person. I want him to know his weaknesses so that he can be a better man. I don't want him to become the man I want him to be. I want him to be the best kind of man that he can be. And I expect the same in return. It is with love that we tell our partners their weaknesses so that they can grow. If we don't care about them, the effort to do that wouldn't be worth it. If we don't care love them, we won't see the kind of person we know they can be and much more.
Familiarity breeds contempt. That is a true statement indeed. The person you married years back seem to have changed. Did she really change or did she just become more comfortable with you that she can do anything she feels like in front of you? Maybe she feels that she doesn't need to put up a front when she is alone with you. She might feel that you would accept her for who she is, no matter what she says or does. Is that taking things for granted? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on whether you are on the receiving end or not.
Is there a balance between "Absence makes the heart fonder" and "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Or is it a choice that we have to make - a choice of how we want to look at things?
The Dalai Lama wrote but maybe not in these exact words:
If a problem has a solution, it is not a problem. So don't worry. If a problem has no solution, there is nothing you can do about it. So don't worry.
Today I want to write about relationships. There are many types of relationships between couples which we can observe, ranging from ideal to hellish. What is ideal and what is hellish? This varies person from person simply because we are human and we are different. Our state of emotion, opinions, attitudes and outlook all change over time. How we look at something today may not be the same perspective we adopt tomorrow. How we feel about an incident may vary depending on our state of emotion at that point.
What is my ideal relationship? I crave an open and honest relationship. I want to be able to share my feelings with my partner without having to consider his feelings, without worrying whether I hurt his pride or not. I am not talking about taking out my frustrations on him or saying hurtful things. I want to be able to say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't want to lie, I don't want to tell him things that he wants to hear just so that I will not hurt his feelings or pride. I want him to be able to know that I need him to understand how I feel. I want him to know that I tell him things which may hurt him or make him look bad because I want him to be a better person. I want him to know his weaknesses so that he can be a better man. I don't want him to become the man I want him to be. I want him to be the best kind of man that he can be. And I expect the same in return. It is with love that we tell our partners their weaknesses so that they can grow. If we don't care about them, the effort to do that wouldn't be worth it. If we don't care love them, we won't see the kind of person we know they can be and much more.
Familiarity breeds contempt. That is a true statement indeed. The person you married years back seem to have changed. Did she really change or did she just become more comfortable with you that she can do anything she feels like in front of you? Maybe she feels that she doesn't need to put up a front when she is alone with you. She might feel that you would accept her for who she is, no matter what she says or does. Is that taking things for granted? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on whether you are on the receiving end or not.
Is there a balance between "Absence makes the heart fonder" and "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Or is it a choice that we have to make - a choice of how we want to look at things?
The Dalai Lama wrote but maybe not in these exact words:
If a problem has a solution, it is not a problem. So don't worry. If a problem has no solution, there is nothing you can do about it. So don't worry.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Verbal diarrhea
Some time last month I read an article about celebrity bloggers. There was feedback on how some readers like the simple style of some bloggers who make their blog an easy read. There was complains about another blogger putting her journalistic skills so much into use that reading her blog is somewhat a chore.
I think I'm like that. I try to type in complete proper sentences and avoid Singlish vaguely like the plague. After all I'm blogging to practice my writing skills and leave something for my kids to read when I die. So I don't care if you think reading my blog is like reading a novel or a collection of short stories. If you don't like it, go away.
I'm not into Twitter and I'm not into Facebook or any of the other social networks available on the vast Internet. I'm not that sociable. I don't want to put photos of my children on my blog or on my seldom used Facebook. I have a phobia of paedophiles lurking in the wilderness of the Internet. A friend of mine, Matt, fears that he may have offended someone who might use his kids to threaten him. I'm bad, but I'm not that bad. Sorry Matt, had to take that blow below the belt.
This week I learnt a hard lesson. I remember when I was 12, my dad told me that when I grew up, I must make sure I take care of my brother. Growing up, I always remembered that. Little did I know that it was my brother who will one day take care of me and bail me out of a nasty situation. I went through something very humbling and through that, I learnt that blood is truly thicker than water. I will strive to teach my sons such that they will support each other when they grow up.
I also learnt that a true friend will always stay a true friend. I'm one of those extremely lazy people who never make any effort to stay in touch with friends. I'm always the last to reply to an email asking for confirmation to a gathering. I don't call, I don't sms, I don't email. There are only a small handful of people who accept me as I am. These are my friends who always care about me, even though I disappear from their lives for weeks, months or even years. When we meet up, it's like there's no distance between the days. I had the fortune of meeting up with a few good friends recently and I realize that our friendship is really genuine. I can still feel their care and concern. Thanks to the Beanie, Robin Hood, the Biker and the Pilot. You guys are best!
I was considering starting an anonymous blog to write my life story. One day I will write my life story. I don't want to be nameless except for the fact that I might embarrass my family members. I'll write my life story so that my kids can read and learn from my mistakes. I'll get to it when I do......
Quote for the day:
To make a mistake is part of life, to learn from it is a blessing, to ignore it is a waste.
I think I'm like that. I try to type in complete proper sentences and avoid Singlish vaguely like the plague. After all I'm blogging to practice my writing skills and leave something for my kids to read when I die. So I don't care if you think reading my blog is like reading a novel or a collection of short stories. If you don't like it, go away.
I'm not into Twitter and I'm not into Facebook or any of the other social networks available on the vast Internet. I'm not that sociable. I don't want to put photos of my children on my blog or on my seldom used Facebook. I have a phobia of paedophiles lurking in the wilderness of the Internet. A friend of mine, Matt, fears that he may have offended someone who might use his kids to threaten him. I'm bad, but I'm not that bad. Sorry Matt, had to take that blow below the belt.
This week I learnt a hard lesson. I remember when I was 12, my dad told me that when I grew up, I must make sure I take care of my brother. Growing up, I always remembered that. Little did I know that it was my brother who will one day take care of me and bail me out of a nasty situation. I went through something very humbling and through that, I learnt that blood is truly thicker than water. I will strive to teach my sons such that they will support each other when they grow up.
I also learnt that a true friend will always stay a true friend. I'm one of those extremely lazy people who never make any effort to stay in touch with friends. I'm always the last to reply to an email asking for confirmation to a gathering. I don't call, I don't sms, I don't email. There are only a small handful of people who accept me as I am. These are my friends who always care about me, even though I disappear from their lives for weeks, months or even years. When we meet up, it's like there's no distance between the days. I had the fortune of meeting up with a few good friends recently and I realize that our friendship is really genuine. I can still feel their care and concern. Thanks to the Beanie, Robin Hood, the Biker and the Pilot. You guys are best!
I was considering starting an anonymous blog to write my life story. One day I will write my life story. I don't want to be nameless except for the fact that I might embarrass my family members. I'll write my life story so that my kids can read and learn from my mistakes. I'll get to it when I do......
Quote for the day:
To make a mistake is part of life, to learn from it is a blessing, to ignore it is a waste.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Passing of a legend........
On June 25, 2009 a legend passed on.....Michael Jackson left the world.
He wasn't my favourite artiste but he was undoubtedly one of the best entertainers that have passed through the world. His death triggered a lot of events, emotions, outpouring of grief, and a lot more.
Even my husband and I went nostalgic recalling the times of Thriller, Beat It, etc. His music videos were indeed revolutionary for their times. I will not say that MJ was an inspiration to me as I was never really into him, other than the fact that his songs were enjoyable and I loved watching his music videos. He is the most talented dancer I've ever come across. But his death and the events and revelations that came after made him an inspiration.
Being a celebrity is no easy feat. You not only have to entertain your fans, you have to also be aware that you will be a victim of the media. It is sad that during his trials and tribulations, facts are easily exaggerated, doubts planted in the minds of people, painting the picture of a psychotic man with issues. After his death, people started sharing their thoughts, how he inspired them, etc.
The incident has just one very clear message for me.
Never take things for granted, you'll never know when will be your last day on earth until you are gone. You will not know when your loved ones will be taken away from you until they are gone. By then, it is too late to say "I love you", "I'm sorry" and "I thank you for your love". Live today like it were your last on earth, cliched but it's true.
Always wear nice undies, you'll never know when you'll faint or drop dead on the street and have to be undressed by the doctor for an examinaion or post mortem.
He wasn't my favourite artiste but he was undoubtedly one of the best entertainers that have passed through the world. His death triggered a lot of events, emotions, outpouring of grief, and a lot more.
Even my husband and I went nostalgic recalling the times of Thriller, Beat It, etc. His music videos were indeed revolutionary for their times. I will not say that MJ was an inspiration to me as I was never really into him, other than the fact that his songs were enjoyable and I loved watching his music videos. He is the most talented dancer I've ever come across. But his death and the events and revelations that came after made him an inspiration.
Being a celebrity is no easy feat. You not only have to entertain your fans, you have to also be aware that you will be a victim of the media. It is sad that during his trials and tribulations, facts are easily exaggerated, doubts planted in the minds of people, painting the picture of a psychotic man with issues. After his death, people started sharing their thoughts, how he inspired them, etc.
The incident has just one very clear message for me.
Never take things for granted, you'll never know when will be your last day on earth until you are gone. You will not know when your loved ones will be taken away from you until they are gone. By then, it is too late to say "I love you", "I'm sorry" and "I thank you for your love". Live today like it were your last on earth, cliched but it's true.
Always wear nice undies, you'll never know when you'll faint or drop dead on the street and have to be undressed by the doctor for an examinaion or post mortem.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Xavier's antics.....
Evidence of Xavier watching too much of Pixar's Cars.....
In the middle of watching Formula One race tonight,
Xavier: Mummy, this race has no pit stop.
Mummy: Why?
Xavier: Because there is no forklift.
For those not indoctrinated to the way of Cars, all the pit stop crew members in the Piston Cup race are forklifts.
Evidence of Xavier being a faster learner.....
Keane was kicking a fuss about a toy.
Keane: non stop wailing.....
Xavier: Stop...stop crying then I'll give you this.
Keane: non stop wailing.....
Xavier: I said stop....stop and I'll give you this.
Keane: silence....
Xavier: Ok here you go.
For the non-parents, this tactic is commonly practised by the adults in our household to stop tantrums.
Evidence of Xavier having potential to be a politician.....
Keane: (pointing in the direction of the back of the car from front seat) Giraffe, giraffe!
Xavier: (thinks Keane's pointing at him) I'm NOT a giraffe!
Keane: Giraffe, giraffe!
Mummy: He's not pointing at you Xavier, he's pointing at the "Friends of the zoo" car decal with the giraffe on it.
Xavier: Oh, I thought he was pointing at a real giraffe behind us.....(totally ignoring the earlier statement he made)
Evidence of Xavier being analytical.....
Xavier: Mummy, why is daddy not home yet?
Mummy: Daddy has to work so he'll be back later.
Xavier: But Daddy said he will be out for a while only. A while means he will come back fast but he has been gone a long time.
To laugh or to cry.......I haven't decided. But for now, why worry?
In the middle of watching Formula One race tonight,
Xavier: Mummy, this race has no pit stop.
Mummy: Why?
Xavier: Because there is no forklift.
For those not indoctrinated to the way of Cars, all the pit stop crew members in the Piston Cup race are forklifts.
Evidence of Xavier being a faster learner.....
Keane was kicking a fuss about a toy.
Keane: non stop wailing.....
Xavier: Stop...stop crying then I'll give you this.
Keane: non stop wailing.....
Xavier: I said stop....stop and I'll give you this.
Keane: silence....
Xavier: Ok here you go.
For the non-parents, this tactic is commonly practised by the adults in our household to stop tantrums.
Evidence of Xavier having potential to be a politician.....
Keane: (pointing in the direction of the back of the car from front seat) Giraffe, giraffe!
Xavier: (thinks Keane's pointing at him) I'm NOT a giraffe!
Keane: Giraffe, giraffe!
Mummy: He's not pointing at you Xavier, he's pointing at the "Friends of the zoo" car decal with the giraffe on it.
Xavier: Oh, I thought he was pointing at a real giraffe behind us.....(totally ignoring the earlier statement he made)
Evidence of Xavier being analytical.....
Xavier: Mummy, why is daddy not home yet?
Mummy: Daddy has to work so he'll be back later.
Xavier: But Daddy said he will be out for a while only. A while means he will come back fast but he has been gone a long time.
To laugh or to cry.......I haven't decided. But for now, why worry?
Monday, June 15, 2009
It rained at the zoo......
We had an outing to the zoo on Saturday. We didn't bring Ryan because he just turned one and we always waited till the kids were 2 before we brought them to the zoo. It's some superstitious thing which I don't wish to address.
We left our home at about 8.30am and reached the zoo in good time. It's a 15 minutes drive for us. See how far away from everything else we are? I mean, it's strange to claim that you stay near the zoo but we do. I always tell people that I stay in ulu Sembawang.
We decided to become Friends of the Zoo since Keane is now a paying child (children below 3 get free entry). Annual membership of S$180 gives us unlimited access for 2 adults and 3 kids plus free parking plus 10% discounts at F&B outlets. Not a bad deal. We can break even with 4 visits which we can easily do in a year.
The first thing we did after breakfast was to hit the Kidzworld where there is a water playground for the kids. The two of them definitely had a whale of a time there. There weren't that many kids as it was pretty early. After about 45 mins Xavier cut his heel and had to be brought to the first aid station to wash his wound and put on a plaster. Being the whiner, he was grumbling most of the time. But was pretty brave at the end considering a small piece of his skin was ripped off. Had an excuse to get crocodile slippers as the sandals were too abrasive.
Next stop was the Australian outback. We took part in the feeding session of the wallabies. All of us had fun feeding the wallabies. Still don't quite know the difference between a wallaby and a kangaroo except that wallabies are a smaller cousin of the kangaroo. I wouldn't have known the difference except that I overheard a visitor ask the zookeeper why the kangaroos were so small here. She has obviously seen a real kangaroo. After the feeding, it was a rush to the Elephants of Asia show.
It was still interesting though we were later than most people and ended up with the worse seats in the house. But that didn't stop Xavier and Keane from getting all excited about the elephants and their stunts. It started to drizzle so we tried to move on before the end of the elephant show. After some delay at the amphitheatre where we saw the last part of some dance and song by an Australian group and had some pop corn, we tried to find lunch.
That itself was a challenge but I won't go into the details.
We went home after the lunch. It was a short trip but still entertaining. During the tram ride Keane managed to identify a lot of the animals which we saw. That in itself was rewarding for us as he has shown much improvement since he went to childcare last year. Xavier planned our itinerary but we didn't have enough time to see the komodo dragon, bats and other animals he wanted. But since we're now friends of the zoo, we can go back often without burning a hole in our pocket.
Even though it was a short day, the kids were tired and slept very early that night.
We will definitely make an another trip soon.
Quote Xavier: When we go to the zoo on Saturday and we ate popcorn and we watched the elephant show and we saw animals. My favourite part was feeding the kangaroos.
We left our home at about 8.30am and reached the zoo in good time. It's a 15 minutes drive for us. See how far away from everything else we are? I mean, it's strange to claim that you stay near the zoo but we do. I always tell people that I stay in ulu Sembawang.
We decided to become Friends of the Zoo since Keane is now a paying child (children below 3 get free entry). Annual membership of S$180 gives us unlimited access for 2 adults and 3 kids plus free parking plus 10% discounts at F&B outlets. Not a bad deal. We can break even with 4 visits which we can easily do in a year.
The first thing we did after breakfast was to hit the Kidzworld where there is a water playground for the kids. The two of them definitely had a whale of a time there. There weren't that many kids as it was pretty early. After about 45 mins Xavier cut his heel and had to be brought to the first aid station to wash his wound and put on a plaster. Being the whiner, he was grumbling most of the time. But was pretty brave at the end considering a small piece of his skin was ripped off. Had an excuse to get crocodile slippers as the sandals were too abrasive.
Next stop was the Australian outback. We took part in the feeding session of the wallabies. All of us had fun feeding the wallabies. Still don't quite know the difference between a wallaby and a kangaroo except that wallabies are a smaller cousin of the kangaroo. I wouldn't have known the difference except that I overheard a visitor ask the zookeeper why the kangaroos were so small here. She has obviously seen a real kangaroo. After the feeding, it was a rush to the Elephants of Asia show.
It was still interesting though we were later than most people and ended up with the worse seats in the house. But that didn't stop Xavier and Keane from getting all excited about the elephants and their stunts. It started to drizzle so we tried to move on before the end of the elephant show. After some delay at the amphitheatre where we saw the last part of some dance and song by an Australian group and had some pop corn, we tried to find lunch.
That itself was a challenge but I won't go into the details.
We went home after the lunch. It was a short trip but still entertaining. During the tram ride Keane managed to identify a lot of the animals which we saw. That in itself was rewarding for us as he has shown much improvement since he went to childcare last year. Xavier planned our itinerary but we didn't have enough time to see the komodo dragon, bats and other animals he wanted. But since we're now friends of the zoo, we can go back often without burning a hole in our pocket.
Even though it was a short day, the kids were tired and slept very early that night.
We will definitely make an another trip soon.
Quote Xavier: When we go to the zoo on Saturday and we ate popcorn and we watched the elephant show and we saw animals. My favourite part was feeding the kangaroos.
Monday, June 8, 2009
I'm back......
A full week at work has passed.....I'm now beginning my second week.
Things have been moving fast and I've been trying to keep a balance between work and family. I must admit the family is benefiting from my efforts.
Keane has shown much development in his speech. He is quite good at catching tunes and can sing a few songs very well. His pronunciation needs work but his pitch is very good. Am I beginning to sound like an American Idol judge? I believe he really needed our attention. My recent full time spell at home gave him much of my time and I feel closer to him. He has also shown more restraint in his behaviour, except when he is playing which is typical of most children. He has picked up our singlish phrases like "aiyo" and has the sweetest way of expressing his distress with "Oh NO!"
Xavier has become more matured for his age and is demonstrating his abilities to be an elder brother. Some of the things he said recently made me laugh:
I injured my finger while closing the gate of our main door. Don't ask me why or how I did it since I have no answer. Guess my brain was in sleep mode.
Mom: Oh no, I injured my finger when I was closing the door.
Xavier: It's ok, just put a plaster and go to sleep. When you wake up, it will be ok already!
I wonder if this is a demonstration of the way we show our love while trying to teach him to be strong.
Keane was fiddling with a book recently. Xavier went to him and took the book.
Xavier: Come Keane, read this....Hop...Hop on Pop!
Keane: silence......
Xavier: Come on Keane, just try your best. Hop....say Hop.
Keane: silence......
Xavier: Keane, it's very easy....Hop....say Hop....Hop on Pop!
Keane: Don't want!!! (and off he ran)
I hope this shows that he has learnt a lesson from us. We always try to teach him that to try his best is an achievement itself.
Ryan has started walking on his own albeit unsteadily. He is also showing his own character. He has a habit of snatching toys from his brothers. Whenever he doesn't get them, he will go to his dad to complain and cries till he gets what he wants. All his tantrums are forgotten with his endearing smile which brightens up your day. He has a long way to go......
Recently my focus on work is self discipline. I'm trying to exercise discipline in how I plan my schedule and how I balance my time between work and family. I'm also trying to put in some time for exercise. I tried going for a jog again on Sunday, after a one week break. I'm far from what I call fit. But I'm giving myself a bit of time to get to it.
We're planning a trip to the zoo this Saturday and I hope we do make it......
This week's motivational quote:
Discipline is the bridge between Goals and Accomplishments.
Things have been moving fast and I've been trying to keep a balance between work and family. I must admit the family is benefiting from my efforts.
Keane has shown much development in his speech. He is quite good at catching tunes and can sing a few songs very well. His pronunciation needs work but his pitch is very good. Am I beginning to sound like an American Idol judge? I believe he really needed our attention. My recent full time spell at home gave him much of my time and I feel closer to him. He has also shown more restraint in his behaviour, except when he is playing which is typical of most children. He has picked up our singlish phrases like "aiyo" and has the sweetest way of expressing his distress with "Oh NO!"
Xavier has become more matured for his age and is demonstrating his abilities to be an elder brother. Some of the things he said recently made me laugh:
I injured my finger while closing the gate of our main door. Don't ask me why or how I did it since I have no answer. Guess my brain was in sleep mode.
Mom: Oh no, I injured my finger when I was closing the door.
Xavier: It's ok, just put a plaster and go to sleep. When you wake up, it will be ok already!
I wonder if this is a demonstration of the way we show our love while trying to teach him to be strong.
Keane was fiddling with a book recently. Xavier went to him and took the book.
Xavier: Come Keane, read this....Hop...Hop on Pop!
Keane: silence......
Xavier: Come on Keane, just try your best. Hop....say Hop.
Keane: silence......
Xavier: Keane, it's very easy....Hop....say Hop....Hop on Pop!
Keane: Don't want!!! (and off he ran)
I hope this shows that he has learnt a lesson from us. We always try to teach him that to try his best is an achievement itself.
Ryan has started walking on his own albeit unsteadily. He is also showing his own character. He has a habit of snatching toys from his brothers. Whenever he doesn't get them, he will go to his dad to complain and cries till he gets what he wants. All his tantrums are forgotten with his endearing smile which brightens up your day. He has a long way to go......
Recently my focus on work is self discipline. I'm trying to exercise discipline in how I plan my schedule and how I balance my time between work and family. I'm also trying to put in some time for exercise. I tried going for a jog again on Sunday, after a one week break. I'm far from what I call fit. But I'm giving myself a bit of time to get to it.
We're planning a trip to the zoo this Saturday and I hope we do make it......
This week's motivational quote:
Discipline is the bridge between Goals and Accomplishments.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Back to normal.....or not?
Today is the first day in 4 weeks that I'm back in office. It was definitely WOW.
I made some changes today:
1) My blog header now reads as "Clara's Voice - Diaries of a commando mummy" - the extension "Diaries of a commando mummy was inspired by my friend Gabriel. See how he makes me do wicked things even after 20 years? Kidding.
2) I made a mistake in quoting the lyrics from the TV8 drama series in my previous post and that has been corrected duly. It should read as "每个人都不普通...每个人都不同 translates to everyone is not ordinary, everyone is different." instead of "每个人都普通...每个人都不同 translates to everyone is ordinary, everyone is different." Now we all know why I am not an A star student in Chinese but I tried.
Going back to office put me back into the world of adult conversation. Not that I didn't have much adult conversation but I had overdose of baby talk and child care. No wonder my hubby said I cannot be a stay home housewife. He knows me too well.
Ryan is much better now and his wound has healed very well, the swelling from last week is gone. His next check up is in June and I hope that the wound closes up by then. He seems healthy enough but I still have a nagging feeling in my mind which will probably not go away until he doesn't need to go back for further checks.
Xavier is going for his second swimming lesson tomorrow. His first lesson last week returned mixed feelings for everyone. Xavier is a very cautious child and he is often timid when he tries his hand at something new despite all the bravado before the actual attempt. On the way to swimming class last week, he said he wants to learn how to swim properly and take part in competitions. During the lesson, we can hear him crying "Ahh!! Aaahh!! Daddy!! Mummy!!!". I asked my hubby to go talk to him and ask him not to panic and relax. He said to let him handle the situation himself. After a while, there were no more cries and we can see him relax visibly. Apparently kids are really resilient.
Keane has continued to show improvement in his speech. But other than that, nothing much to report. This guy is a "deep waters" person.
I finally finished "The Singapore Story: Memoirs of Lee Kuan Yew" and progressed to volume 2 "From Third World to First". To be frank, the first volume was an easier read than the second because the first was written in chronological order while the second was written by subject. According to the author, it would not have fit into one volume if the 35 years from 1965 to 2000 was written in chronological order. Without sounding too much like PAP propaganda, I really respect the man. Before reading his books, I looked up to him as the man who made Singapore and my respect was out of reverence towards someone who is far removed in the ranks of the highest order. After reading his books, I learned a great deal more about my country's history and I really take my hat off and give him a deep bow. I know that my comments are nothing new and a lot of people have expressed their thoughts more eloquently than I ever can. But I still want to say my piece. Lee Kuan Yew is a remarkable person who is real evidence of a statement on a poster in my office cubicle: Real Leaders are Ordinary People with Extraordinary Determination.
In any situation, be it in governmental politics, commercial office politics, secular organization politics, sporting organization politics or even family politics, it is never possible to have all parties come into agreement. What is important is to keep the big picture in mind, to remember the purpose of the organization, do what is right for the good of the people. We cannot satisfy everyone in the organization as no one is the same. So what we can do is to follow the 80/20 rule and ensure we take care of the majority. Maybe in some cases, we can take care of 90%, sometimes we can try to make it 95%. To be able to do 100% is impossible. Why? People have different expectations. People have different needs at different times. We cannot control how they think, we cannot control how they feel, we cannot control their circumstances. However, we can manage their expectations. Never over promise. Under promise and over deliver.
Going back to office has put me back into "reality" but I miss spending time with my kids. I enjoy being able to sit down to Tom and Jerry with Xavier, carrying Ryan and going for a short walk, making silly faces with Keane. These are things I won't be able to do for much longer. When they grow up, I don't think hanging out with their old mummy can count as having fun. But I can always hope, can't I?
I made some changes today:
1) My blog header now reads as "Clara's Voice - Diaries of a commando mummy" - the extension "Diaries of a commando mummy was inspired by my friend Gabriel. See how he makes me do wicked things even after 20 years? Kidding.
2) I made a mistake in quoting the lyrics from the TV8 drama series in my previous post and that has been corrected duly. It should read as "每个人都不普通...每个人都不同 translates to everyone is not ordinary, everyone is different." instead of "每个人都普通...每个人都不同 translates to everyone is ordinary, everyone is different." Now we all know why I am not an A star student in Chinese but I tried.
Going back to office put me back into the world of adult conversation. Not that I didn't have much adult conversation but I had overdose of baby talk and child care. No wonder my hubby said I cannot be a stay home housewife. He knows me too well.
Ryan is much better now and his wound has healed very well, the swelling from last week is gone. His next check up is in June and I hope that the wound closes up by then. He seems healthy enough but I still have a nagging feeling in my mind which will probably not go away until he doesn't need to go back for further checks.
Xavier is going for his second swimming lesson tomorrow. His first lesson last week returned mixed feelings for everyone. Xavier is a very cautious child and he is often timid when he tries his hand at something new despite all the bravado before the actual attempt. On the way to swimming class last week, he said he wants to learn how to swim properly and take part in competitions. During the lesson, we can hear him crying "Ahh!! Aaahh!! Daddy!! Mummy!!!". I asked my hubby to go talk to him and ask him not to panic and relax. He said to let him handle the situation himself. After a while, there were no more cries and we can see him relax visibly. Apparently kids are really resilient.
Keane has continued to show improvement in his speech. But other than that, nothing much to report. This guy is a "deep waters" person.
I finally finished "The Singapore Story: Memoirs of Lee Kuan Yew" and progressed to volume 2 "From Third World to First". To be frank, the first volume was an easier read than the second because the first was written in chronological order while the second was written by subject. According to the author, it would not have fit into one volume if the 35 years from 1965 to 2000 was written in chronological order. Without sounding too much like PAP propaganda, I really respect the man. Before reading his books, I looked up to him as the man who made Singapore and my respect was out of reverence towards someone who is far removed in the ranks of the highest order. After reading his books, I learned a great deal more about my country's history and I really take my hat off and give him a deep bow. I know that my comments are nothing new and a lot of people have expressed their thoughts more eloquently than I ever can. But I still want to say my piece. Lee Kuan Yew is a remarkable person who is real evidence of a statement on a poster in my office cubicle: Real Leaders are Ordinary People with Extraordinary Determination.
In any situation, be it in governmental politics, commercial office politics, secular organization politics, sporting organization politics or even family politics, it is never possible to have all parties come into agreement. What is important is to keep the big picture in mind, to remember the purpose of the organization, do what is right for the good of the people. We cannot satisfy everyone in the organization as no one is the same. So what we can do is to follow the 80/20 rule and ensure we take care of the majority. Maybe in some cases, we can take care of 90%, sometimes we can try to make it 95%. To be able to do 100% is impossible. Why? People have different expectations. People have different needs at different times. We cannot control how they think, we cannot control how they feel, we cannot control their circumstances. However, we can manage their expectations. Never over promise. Under promise and over deliver.
Going back to office has put me back into "reality" but I miss spending time with my kids. I enjoy being able to sit down to Tom and Jerry with Xavier, carrying Ryan and going for a short walk, making silly faces with Keane. These are things I won't be able to do for much longer. When they grow up, I don't think hanging out with their old mummy can count as having fun. But I can always hope, can't I?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Reflection
This is the 4th week that I've stayed home to look after Ryan. This month has been arduous. Xavier caught a virus and had high fever a couple of weeks ago. Last week Keane was suspected to have chicken pox but was actually down with a virus similar to Xavier's with high fever. Ryan's wound never seemed to heal. My patience has been tested frequently this month. Fortunately I have an understanding boss and he allowed me to take leave to stay home. He never pushed me to go back to office either stating that taking care of the kids was important. But I long to return to office. Not only do I have projects pending for my return, I also find that I am beginning to slack a little at home.
Today I gave my blog address to my long time friend and asked for his comment. He said it was a refreshing read and reminded me that it wasn't important who or how many people read my blog. Most importantly I have an outlet for my piteous creativity and hopefully share my experiences with interested readers. Thanks to Gabriel for your motivation!
I had a lot of thoughts over the last month and cannot wait to share them. I'll do it in chronological order continuing with the hospital experience. I am amazed at how inconsiderate people can be, being noisy without considering patients sleeping in the same room. At the same time, I am amazed at how much love people like nurses and doctors can show strangers in need of care and comfort. The world is beautiful and amazing. I don't understand how it works and I probably never will. But whilst I am in it, I will do what I can to keep the good going.
I learned that we all take things for granted and we need to wake up. The good days can only last so long and it is imperative to make the best use of the days given to us. I may not be around for my children as long as I wish I could but during the time that I can, I have to do my best for their good, not mine.
Something that caught my attention this month was the AWARE saga. I'm sure most Singaporeans are aware of what happened at AWARE so I won't go into too much details. If you want to know, google "AWARE saga" and you'll get as much as you need. My thoughts on the AWARE saga is probably similar to some people but my cynical outlook and too much CSI gives me too paranoid a view on it. I think it's all a scam and a whole load of overhype. If the old guard claims to be inclusive, why can they not accept the new team and allow them a chance to take office for a year and if the new team does a poor job, then re-elect themselves. Was the new team familiar enough with where the organization was heading before deciding that AWARE was diverting from its original objectives? After all the happenings, AWARE had a surge in membership. So was the whole event a publicity stunt? I wouldn't put it past the organization - this is my CSI mind speaking about conspiracy theories.
A heartening thing to observe is that Singaporeans are more vocal nowadays and more open. Is being open going against our traditional values? It is personal and subjective. Some of the comments made by the various parties involved and observers seemed to be self-contradictory to me. The whole focus seemed to be on sexuality education issue and how a team of women seemed to have manoveured themselves into the exco within the constitution. Sour grapes and sore losers to the old guard - the new team rightly said that if they were really keen and interested in what was happening at AWARE, the coup wouldn't have happened. It was a rightful wake up call for the old guard in my opinion. They took too many things for granted. It seemed like a "don't fix it if it is not spoiled" situation resulting in dwindling memberships and less public awareness of the organization and its objectives. Of couse, on the other side of the coin, the new team could have started their own organization if they were really interested in contributing to society and didn't agree with what AWARE was doing. Furthermore, the team of well educated and matured ladies should have considered the consequence of bringing in a religious take into the situation whether intentionally or not. People are definitely going to cry foul, especially in a mutli-racial, multi-religious country like ours.
At the end of the day both camps emerged from the scene in a cordial manner. The winners because they think they have made a point and won. The losers to hang on to any shred of dignity they had left. I salute the team of ladies who braved the situation, taking in criticisms in all forms and manner and left holding their heads held high. But I also think that they could have carried out their intentions in a better manner but it's always easier to speak with hindsight. I say we should live and let live and learn how to agree to disagree. I'm sure that the lesson learnt will bring about changes to AWARE's constitution to protect the core group's interest in AWARE. I'd like to thank everyone involved in the saga and the journalists who gave fantastic coverage for giving me a great learning opportunity.
Interesting lyrics from the theme song for TV8 series currently airing at 9pm on weekdays:
每个人都不普通...每个人都不同 translates to everyone is not ordinary, everyone is different.
Today I gave my blog address to my long time friend and asked for his comment. He said it was a refreshing read and reminded me that it wasn't important who or how many people read my blog. Most importantly I have an outlet for my piteous creativity and hopefully share my experiences with interested readers. Thanks to Gabriel for your motivation!
I had a lot of thoughts over the last month and cannot wait to share them. I'll do it in chronological order continuing with the hospital experience. I am amazed at how inconsiderate people can be, being noisy without considering patients sleeping in the same room. At the same time, I am amazed at how much love people like nurses and doctors can show strangers in need of care and comfort. The world is beautiful and amazing. I don't understand how it works and I probably never will. But whilst I am in it, I will do what I can to keep the good going.
I learned that we all take things for granted and we need to wake up. The good days can only last so long and it is imperative to make the best use of the days given to us. I may not be around for my children as long as I wish I could but during the time that I can, I have to do my best for their good, not mine.
Something that caught my attention this month was the AWARE saga. I'm sure most Singaporeans are aware of what happened at AWARE so I won't go into too much details. If you want to know, google "AWARE saga" and you'll get as much as you need. My thoughts on the AWARE saga is probably similar to some people but my cynical outlook and too much CSI gives me too paranoid a view on it. I think it's all a scam and a whole load of overhype. If the old guard claims to be inclusive, why can they not accept the new team and allow them a chance to take office for a year and if the new team does a poor job, then re-elect themselves. Was the new team familiar enough with where the organization was heading before deciding that AWARE was diverting from its original objectives? After all the happenings, AWARE had a surge in membership. So was the whole event a publicity stunt? I wouldn't put it past the organization - this is my CSI mind speaking about conspiracy theories.
A heartening thing to observe is that Singaporeans are more vocal nowadays and more open. Is being open going against our traditional values? It is personal and subjective. Some of the comments made by the various parties involved and observers seemed to be self-contradictory to me. The whole focus seemed to be on sexuality education issue and how a team of women seemed to have manoveured themselves into the exco within the constitution. Sour grapes and sore losers to the old guard - the new team rightly said that if they were really keen and interested in what was happening at AWARE, the coup wouldn't have happened. It was a rightful wake up call for the old guard in my opinion. They took too many things for granted. It seemed like a "don't fix it if it is not spoiled" situation resulting in dwindling memberships and less public awareness of the organization and its objectives. Of couse, on the other side of the coin, the new team could have started their own organization if they were really interested in contributing to society and didn't agree with what AWARE was doing. Furthermore, the team of well educated and matured ladies should have considered the consequence of bringing in a religious take into the situation whether intentionally or not. People are definitely going to cry foul, especially in a mutli-racial, multi-religious country like ours.
At the end of the day both camps emerged from the scene in a cordial manner. The winners because they think they have made a point and won. The losers to hang on to any shred of dignity they had left. I salute the team of ladies who braved the situation, taking in criticisms in all forms and manner and left holding their heads held high. But I also think that they could have carried out their intentions in a better manner but it's always easier to speak with hindsight. I say we should live and let live and learn how to agree to disagree. I'm sure that the lesson learnt will bring about changes to AWARE's constitution to protect the core group's interest in AWARE. I'd like to thank everyone involved in the saga and the journalists who gave fantastic coverage for giving me a great learning opportunity.
Interesting lyrics from the theme song for TV8 series currently airing at 9pm on weekdays:
每个人都不普通...每个人都不同 translates to everyone is not ordinary, everyone is different.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
HORRORS!!!
The past 2 days were quite distressing and one of the most harrowing experience I ever went through as a mother. I want to share my experience and my thoughts on what I witnessed over the past 2 days.
My baby Ryan was sick for a couple of days. He had a fever that wouldn't go away and persisted between 38 to 39 deg celsius. I brought him to the GP on Friday and got some medicine to cure the sypmtoms. On Saturday afternoon, my helper noticed a bump near his anal region which looked like a boil. We got a bit worried but thought it was due to heatiness. (Heatiness being a condition which Chinese believe happens when one has consumed too much food said to be heaty in nature, causing the body to react defensively). Nevertheless, we brought him back to the GP who inspected the boil and immediately diagnosed it as an abscess. I had no clue what an abscess was and thought it was just a normal boil resulting from some viral infection.
The GP wrote a letter of referral for KK Hospital and we sent Ryan there. After some waiting, it was explained to us that he had an abscess which was a result of infection and there was a canal of infection leading from his anus to the "boil". And the "boil" had to be cut to drain out the pus. Technically, Ryan needed what was known medically as "Incision and drainage of periannal abscess, keep in view fulislotomy". Fulislotomy referred to removal of the canal between the anus and the abscess. At first the doctor who examined him in the emergency department said that they probably could operate on him at 1am, the earliest possible after a fast of 6 hours.
Ryan had to be moved around on Saturday night from the pre-screening to the waiting room and then to admissions and to the ward. At the ward, he was very tired and sleepy but he could only sleep in fits as he was woken by the surgeons visiting him for check up. It was then decided that it wasn't fair for him to go for an op after 12 midnight so he was scheduled for 7am the next morning. He also needed an x-ray because he had a bad case of cough with phlegm and slight runny nose. Since he needed to fast for 6 hours before the op, he needed to take one last feed before 1am otherwise his body might not be able to take the long bout without sustenance.
Much to my dismay Ryan refused to drink milk at 12am even though it was 4 hours since his last drink. I tried very hard to hoax him but no means no and he is one strong baby who was bent on going to sleep as he was very exhausted. So I resorted to using the syringe to force feed him. I managed only 2oz of milk and he just slept in protest. After consulting the nurses, it was decided that he needed a drink of glucose by 3am to have the sustenance. Any later and he may face complications if he vomits during surgery. I tried to feed him at 3am and faced the same resistance. For an exhausted baby, he had a lot of fight in him. Out came the syringe and this time it was another 2oz of glucose water before he slept in protest again.
My baby Ryan was sick for a couple of days. He had a fever that wouldn't go away and persisted between 38 to 39 deg celsius. I brought him to the GP on Friday and got some medicine to cure the sypmtoms. On Saturday afternoon, my helper noticed a bump near his anal region which looked like a boil. We got a bit worried but thought it was due to heatiness. (Heatiness being a condition which Chinese believe happens when one has consumed too much food said to be heaty in nature, causing the body to react defensively). Nevertheless, we brought him back to the GP who inspected the boil and immediately diagnosed it as an abscess. I had no clue what an abscess was and thought it was just a normal boil resulting from some viral infection.
The GP wrote a letter of referral for KK Hospital and we sent Ryan there. After some waiting, it was explained to us that he had an abscess which was a result of infection and there was a canal of infection leading from his anus to the "boil". And the "boil" had to be cut to drain out the pus. Technically, Ryan needed what was known medically as "Incision and drainage of periannal abscess, keep in view fulislotomy". Fulislotomy referred to removal of the canal between the anus and the abscess. At first the doctor who examined him in the emergency department said that they probably could operate on him at 1am, the earliest possible after a fast of 6 hours.
Ryan had to be moved around on Saturday night from the pre-screening to the waiting room and then to admissions and to the ward. At the ward, he was very tired and sleepy but he could only sleep in fits as he was woken by the surgeons visiting him for check up. It was then decided that it wasn't fair for him to go for an op after 12 midnight so he was scheduled for 7am the next morning. He also needed an x-ray because he had a bad case of cough with phlegm and slight runny nose. Since he needed to fast for 6 hours before the op, he needed to take one last feed before 1am otherwise his body might not be able to take the long bout without sustenance.
Much to my dismay Ryan refused to drink milk at 12am even though it was 4 hours since his last drink. I tried very hard to hoax him but no means no and he is one strong baby who was bent on going to sleep as he was very exhausted. So I resorted to using the syringe to force feed him. I managed only 2oz of milk and he just slept in protest. After consulting the nurses, it was decided that he needed a drink of glucose by 3am to have the sustenance. Any later and he may face complications if he vomits during surgery. I tried to feed him at 3am and faced the same resistance. For an exhausted baby, he had a lot of fight in him. Out came the syringe and this time it was another 2oz of glucose water before he slept in protest again.
I was helpless and all I could do was pray that my baby's body was strong enough to carry him through the long hours ahead.
At about 7am we headed down to the operation theatre. I carried him to the changing room. I put on a smock and changed my slippers while he was checked by the anaesthetist. Ryan had to undergo general anaesthesia because it is difficult to handle fussy babies unlike adults who can control themselves and can do with just local anaesthesia for such an operation. Due to his phlegm they told me he would be put on a high dependency bed after the operation for observation in case complications arose. If his airwaves are sensitive to the anaesthesia, then he might have asthma or pneumonia. That scared the hell out of me.
I carried him into the operation theatre and we sat down. The nurse distracted him with bubbles while the anaesthetists started to find a vein to insert the tube for the anaesthetic to be fed. His hands were too chubby and they failed. So they decided to have him breathe in the anaesthetic. A few breathes and Ryan was knocked out. I was then ushered out of the room. What seemed like the longest wait I had to go through began. The operation was supposed to take only 10 mins as it was a simple procedure. However I waited for 30 minutes. Each time the door to the operation theatre opened, my heart skipped a bit. No smiles from the staff walking in and out. That looked ominous to me. I prayed and asked for God to protect my son.
After what seemed like eternity, the door opened and I heard my baby's cry. Ryan was already awake and looking for me! I ran to him and carried him up. The crying stopped immediately. They told me that he was fine and I could bring him up to the ward. I brought him up to the ward and he looked very dazed. He fell asleep soon. Throughout the morning he drifted in and out of sleep for his medicine and milk. His temperature had gone back to normal once the abscess was removed. That was a relief. By the afternoon he was more active. Although he refused porridge he took milk.
After his first poop, the nurses showed me how to clean his wound and my knees went weak. They removed his dressing and pulled out a woolly thread which was inserted through the fistula. That hurt like hell and Ryan wailed as loudly as his lungs allowed. The worst is yet to come. The nurse parted his wound and stuck a syringe into the opening and injected saline inside for cleansing. That brought on another string of wails from Ryan. I was informed that I had to do this for him each time he pooped until the wound closes by itself. I was a little dazed after that. Apparently they need to make sure that I could clean the wound independently before they discharge him.That night, he had major pains in his gums because he was teething. I carried him for at least 2 hours, trying to make him go to sleep while he wailed non-stop. After almost 3 hours, he started to fall asleep out of exhaustion but was still grumbling about the pain. I asked the staff nurse for help. She gave him some gel to apply on his gums and my baby slept like an angel. I was exhausted. It is no easy feat to carry a 10kg baby and rock him for 2 hours. I could almost feel my biceps and triceps developing! It was such a relief to lie down on the makeshift bed. I couldn't move. Fortunately the staff nurse was very kind and when Ryan started grumbling again at 2am she carried him out and applied the gel on his gums again. Then he fell asleep quite fast. I was too tired to move. Thank God for the angel he sent.
The next morning Ryan was back to his active and cheeky self. Then he pooped. Here goes nothing, I told myself. So I was pretty gungho about it. Told the nurse that I needed someone to help me wash his wound. I just did it and ignored his piteous wails during the process. It's for his own good, it's for his own good, I repeated to myself. Ok, I was exaggerating. Someone's got to do it so I better take up the job. I don't think my hubby will have the time to do it. My maid will probably tremble - she can't stand the sight of blood so I think she might not take to this easily. Ryan seemed to think that I needed the practice and pooped twice more before discharge time!
Fortunately the doctors did their rounds and certified him ready to be discharged. We happily brought him home along with 2 courses of antibiotics, a bottle of paracetamol and 24 tubes of saline.
Xavier, the eldest, saw me washing the wound and said "Let me help you hold him". He said that it must be very painful. Keane simply went "OH NO!" and scuttled away before anyone could try something similar on him.
Children are indeed extremely resilient creatures. Ryan would stop wailing immediately after the cleansing and cling on to me for dear life, sobbing a little. After 5 minutes, he would be back to his usual self.
Thank God everything went smoothly and my baby was safe.
Quote for the week:
Bravery comes in many forms......survival is one of them.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
I am obviously a poor blogger with absolutely no consistency whatsoever.
I won't make any excuse for myself as it is not critical.
I have been extremely busy with work since last month. Any spare time I had was spent with my family and kids as well as catching up with my reading.
I'm currently reading Lee Kuan Yew's memoirs. I'm only beginning with book 1 which I abandoned halfway during my first attempt. I hope I can finish book 1 before the end of this year. No more ambitious targets for me.
The situation in Thailand makes me feel extremely thankful that I am a Singaporean citizen living in Singapore. Kudos to our government for making Singapore what it is today. And no, this feeling is not because I am reading the LKY memoirs. I've always felt grateful that I live in Singapore and proud that I am Singaporean. Security is something dear to my heart, even more so when I have a precious family.
I am contented to have what I have. I am not a billionaire, I'm not even what one can call financially free. I try to provide for my family as best as I can and I stretch myself a little bit financially. I don't go for holidays overseas, I don't carry branded handbags, and I don't wear branded clothes. My indulgence would be books and food. Food indulgence means meals in family restaurants, chocolates and ice-cream. Do I live for my family only? More or less. What is ME? Who am I? What happened to my own existence?
I find myself in books. I find myself at work. I find myself in my children. I find myself when I'm driving. I spend time with myself contemplating. Do I ignore my children sometimes? Yes I do. I try to find time for myself whenever I can. I think it is important to keep a balance. Am I good at keeping a balance? I don't know. I will only know when I die and people give their eulogy of myself, if they even bother with it. I hope that someone will. Otherwise I would have lived for nothing.
Sometimes I wonder what I would like my family to do after I die. What kind of wake should they arrange? What kind of funeral? I am a Roman Catholic. My husband's a Buddhist/Taoist (I'm confused). Will he know what to do when I die? I have no clue but I hope for the best. Does it matter what kind of funeral I'm given? I doubt. Seriously, I'm dead. What difference does it make? It might be easier for the people I left behind to pay their respects to me. I don't know if I will be there to witness it or not. If I didn't leave when I am at peace with myself, I would probably hang around grumbling about what people are doing about my death. If I'm at peace with myself, I'd probably go to purgatory to pray and repent for my sins. If I've lived my life fully, I might convince God to let me go to Heaven. I don't know. Do I have no faith? Not really. I just have a different look about religion. God exists in different forms to different people. My God is Lord of Heaven. My husband doesn't believe in God, he believes we will continue the cycle of live and be reincarnated until we break free or achieve nirvana. How can I reconcile our differences? I don't reconcile the differences, I draw the similarities. Both our religions teach us to be good, respectful, loving, kind, patient, etc, etc. I want us to live our lives to the fullest and end up where we both want to be after our deaths. I want to go to Heaven. He wants to achieve Nirvana and....end up in Heaven? I don't know. Nirvana's similar to Heaven isn't it? Maybe I'm wrong and will draw a lot of flak from anyone who's even bothered to read my blog. Look at the big picture. I mean purgatory's where we have to repent till our sins are forgiven. It's like going though life cycle after life cycle until we can achieve nirvana or freedom from karma. That's similar to being free from sins.
What will I do about my children? What about their religion? I am leaving it up to them. But I will show them my religion through my actions. Through loving kindness. Through patience. Through charity. Will they choose to become Roman Catholics? I pray so. If they don't, I won't force them. I won't hold it against them. As long as they follow an orthodox religion, I will support them. Just like my parents supported me. My parents are Taoists. They attended my baptism ceremony. They gave me my freedom just like I will give my children theirs.
Why am I so reflective? It's kind of late. But better than never.
Till then......be yourself.
I won't make any excuse for myself as it is not critical.
I have been extremely busy with work since last month. Any spare time I had was spent with my family and kids as well as catching up with my reading.
I'm currently reading Lee Kuan Yew's memoirs. I'm only beginning with book 1 which I abandoned halfway during my first attempt. I hope I can finish book 1 before the end of this year. No more ambitious targets for me.
The situation in Thailand makes me feel extremely thankful that I am a Singaporean citizen living in Singapore. Kudos to our government for making Singapore what it is today. And no, this feeling is not because I am reading the LKY memoirs. I've always felt grateful that I live in Singapore and proud that I am Singaporean. Security is something dear to my heart, even more so when I have a precious family.
I am contented to have what I have. I am not a billionaire, I'm not even what one can call financially free. I try to provide for my family as best as I can and I stretch myself a little bit financially. I don't go for holidays overseas, I don't carry branded handbags, and I don't wear branded clothes. My indulgence would be books and food. Food indulgence means meals in family restaurants, chocolates and ice-cream. Do I live for my family only? More or less. What is ME? Who am I? What happened to my own existence?
I find myself in books. I find myself at work. I find myself in my children. I find myself when I'm driving. I spend time with myself contemplating. Do I ignore my children sometimes? Yes I do. I try to find time for myself whenever I can. I think it is important to keep a balance. Am I good at keeping a balance? I don't know. I will only know when I die and people give their eulogy of myself, if they even bother with it. I hope that someone will. Otherwise I would have lived for nothing.
Sometimes I wonder what I would like my family to do after I die. What kind of wake should they arrange? What kind of funeral? I am a Roman Catholic. My husband's a Buddhist/Taoist (I'm confused). Will he know what to do when I die? I have no clue but I hope for the best. Does it matter what kind of funeral I'm given? I doubt. Seriously, I'm dead. What difference does it make? It might be easier for the people I left behind to pay their respects to me. I don't know if I will be there to witness it or not. If I didn't leave when I am at peace with myself, I would probably hang around grumbling about what people are doing about my death. If I'm at peace with myself, I'd probably go to purgatory to pray and repent for my sins. If I've lived my life fully, I might convince God to let me go to Heaven. I don't know. Do I have no faith? Not really. I just have a different look about religion. God exists in different forms to different people. My God is Lord of Heaven. My husband doesn't believe in God, he believes we will continue the cycle of live and be reincarnated until we break free or achieve nirvana. How can I reconcile our differences? I don't reconcile the differences, I draw the similarities. Both our religions teach us to be good, respectful, loving, kind, patient, etc, etc. I want us to live our lives to the fullest and end up where we both want to be after our deaths. I want to go to Heaven. He wants to achieve Nirvana and....end up in Heaven? I don't know. Nirvana's similar to Heaven isn't it? Maybe I'm wrong and will draw a lot of flak from anyone who's even bothered to read my blog. Look at the big picture. I mean purgatory's where we have to repent till our sins are forgiven. It's like going though life cycle after life cycle until we can achieve nirvana or freedom from karma. That's similar to being free from sins.
What will I do about my children? What about their religion? I am leaving it up to them. But I will show them my religion through my actions. Through loving kindness. Through patience. Through charity. Will they choose to become Roman Catholics? I pray so. If they don't, I won't force them. I won't hold it against them. As long as they follow an orthodox religion, I will support them. Just like my parents supported me. My parents are Taoists. They attended my baptism ceremony. They gave me my freedom just like I will give my children theirs.
Why am I so reflective? It's kind of late. But better than never.
Till then......be yourself.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Spare the rod and spoil the child?
How can I balance discipline with love? How can I be firm with my child without going over the limit?
When I was a kid, it was common for parents to cane their kids and some even do nasty things like make their children kneel on painful objects whilst pulling their own ears. My mom used to pinch us to make us remember the pain we suffer for misbehaving. She didn't have to do it very often. Just a couple of times and we had it drilled in us. Misbehaving leads to pinching, pinching leads to pain, pain leads to fear of more pain.
To quote Yoda: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
Was I fearful of my mom and was I angry with her and hated her as a result of that fear? Did I suffer in the long run? I think at that moment, I was angry with my mom. I was angry that she pinched me. I was angry that I had to behave myself by her standards and couldn't have fun in the supermarket. When I grew up, that anger turned into understanding and that understanding became love. Love knowing that she made a lot of sacrifices bringing us up on a budget. Understanding that physical pain was the only way she knew how to discipline her children because that was the only way she grew up with and knew by experience.
Would I do the same to my children? Only on a limited basis. When Xavier was a toddler, he was mischievous and could throw monstrous tantrums. When he came to the age where he could communicate and understand our verbal instructions, about 1.5 yrs old, the cane came into play on a couple of occasions. And I mean a couple, not more. He was caned once for repeatedly playing with the electrical socket despite several continuous warnings from us. He was also caned once for throwing a tantrum even though he was in the wrong and we kept asking him to stop crying. It broke my heart that he howled with pain after the cane landed on his calf. After he calmed down, we explained why he was caned. From then on, he remembered that he couldn't touch the socket and he tries very hard to remember not to throw tantrums. When he forgets, we bring out the cane. Then he remembers, without us having to cane him. Most times, caning the sofa will bring back his memories of pain suffered when he was young.
With Keane, I find that it's a very different story, simply because Keane has a high threshold for pain. He has been caned a few times but he doesn't seem to feel the pain. That doesn't stop him from howling when we cane him. But his cries can stop on and start on demand. He will stop immediately when he notices something interesting on TV and then starts again when commercials come on. We suspect he's manipulative and cry to get sympathy. I tried sparing the rod with him and I think it works better although my hubby would beg to differ. I praise Keane for doing good things. I can see that he is more willing to listen when he is praised. Of course, he manipulates me more since I'm the softie. He makes me give him goodies. He makes me take out toys from out of reach places for him more often than the other adults in the family. Would he learn the hard way or the easy way? I have no answer till today because he is still misbehaving sometimes. He has shown tremendous improvement in discipline and that in itself is good enough for me.
How should I handle Ryan? I have no idea and I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Am I a bad parent? I don't know and I won't judge myself.
Quote for the week:
A person is like a book, he shouldn't be judged by its cover and you should read it cover to cover before making any review.
When I was a kid, it was common for parents to cane their kids and some even do nasty things like make their children kneel on painful objects whilst pulling their own ears. My mom used to pinch us to make us remember the pain we suffer for misbehaving. She didn't have to do it very often. Just a couple of times and we had it drilled in us. Misbehaving leads to pinching, pinching leads to pain, pain leads to fear of more pain.
To quote Yoda: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
Was I fearful of my mom and was I angry with her and hated her as a result of that fear? Did I suffer in the long run? I think at that moment, I was angry with my mom. I was angry that she pinched me. I was angry that I had to behave myself by her standards and couldn't have fun in the supermarket. When I grew up, that anger turned into understanding and that understanding became love. Love knowing that she made a lot of sacrifices bringing us up on a budget. Understanding that physical pain was the only way she knew how to discipline her children because that was the only way she grew up with and knew by experience.
Would I do the same to my children? Only on a limited basis. When Xavier was a toddler, he was mischievous and could throw monstrous tantrums. When he came to the age where he could communicate and understand our verbal instructions, about 1.5 yrs old, the cane came into play on a couple of occasions. And I mean a couple, not more. He was caned once for repeatedly playing with the electrical socket despite several continuous warnings from us. He was also caned once for throwing a tantrum even though he was in the wrong and we kept asking him to stop crying. It broke my heart that he howled with pain after the cane landed on his calf. After he calmed down, we explained why he was caned. From then on, he remembered that he couldn't touch the socket and he tries very hard to remember not to throw tantrums. When he forgets, we bring out the cane. Then he remembers, without us having to cane him. Most times, caning the sofa will bring back his memories of pain suffered when he was young.
With Keane, I find that it's a very different story, simply because Keane has a high threshold for pain. He has been caned a few times but he doesn't seem to feel the pain. That doesn't stop him from howling when we cane him. But his cries can stop on and start on demand. He will stop immediately when he notices something interesting on TV and then starts again when commercials come on. We suspect he's manipulative and cry to get sympathy. I tried sparing the rod with him and I think it works better although my hubby would beg to differ. I praise Keane for doing good things. I can see that he is more willing to listen when he is praised. Of course, he manipulates me more since I'm the softie. He makes me give him goodies. He makes me take out toys from out of reach places for him more often than the other adults in the family. Would he learn the hard way or the easy way? I have no answer till today because he is still misbehaving sometimes. He has shown tremendous improvement in discipline and that in itself is good enough for me.
How should I handle Ryan? I have no idea and I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Am I a bad parent? I don't know and I won't judge myself.
Quote for the week:
A person is like a book, he shouldn't be judged by its cover and you should read it cover to cover before making any review.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The sun will always shine.....
Time flies. It's already past mid February and I feel as if I've barely achieved much. I think it's a feeling shared by many people, especially working mothers.
Singapore is facing a declining birth rate and the government is trying to encourage citizens to have more babies. In fact, it's been several years since these efforts began. Why is it that we still don't see a boom? I believe there are many reasons for this phenomena in Singapore.
There are couples who feel that children are too big a responsibility to shoulder. I agree that children are a huge responsibility. Like some Chinese would say "生孩子容易，养孩子不简单". Simply put, it's easy to give birth to a children but no easy feat to bring one up. A parent needs to provide for his child's emotional, social and physiological needs - for at least 20 years. Some people are not prepared to give so much to another being for so long. You might call it selfish. But at least they make the decision up front and do not have a child who is soon forsaken or neglected, even worse, abused.
My heart aches whenever I read about parental abuse of children. I wonder how parents in their right minds can bring about any form of suffering to their flesh and blood. For isn't that what a child is? The very flesh and blood of his parents? It's a miracle for a child to be conceived and develop from a minuscule zygote to a baby. Life in itself is a miracle and for a parent to abuse that miracle is inhumane.
Other couples feel that it is too expensive to bring up a child in Singapore and often stop at one baby. Is it society's fault, as often pointed out by many people? Why blame society? No one is forced to buy OshKosh or Baby Gap for their kids. No one is forced to send their kids to the most expensive child care centers. No one is forced to buy expensive toys for their children every weekend. Why then do people still do that? Not everyone can afford to give their children a luxurious lifestyle but those who can will say that they want to give the best they can to their children. What is the best for our children? A luxurious lifestyle or a balanced lifestyle filled with love and care? Some parents will give their children a lot of material things and I suspect, like me, they feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children. Do we sacrifice quality time with our children to pursue a career or an activity filled personal life? This has a lot to do with individual values.
As a working person, I have a responsibility towards my company to give my best. But it has to be within limits. How do I handle that? I give my all during the week. I work long hours and try to squeeze in a couple of hours with my kids when I reach home, before I hit the laptop again. Sometimes I just put the laptop aside and take a rest. When it is the weekend, all my time is spent with my children, except for the occasional facial that I allow myself. I think being able to maintain a healthy balance not only ensures quality time is spent with children without sacrificing work responsibilities, it also maintains my sanity. It also helps to be up front with your company and it helps a great deal to have an understanding boss. I'm blessed to work in a company that believes in employees maintaining a balanced lifestyle and having a boss who knows what it is like to be a working parent with 3 young children.
Being a parent doesn't mean equating your life to your child's. That would be a mistake which would make everyone miserable. Some parents lose themselves during their journey in parenthood and when their children grow up, they cannot find themselves anymore and lose their purpose in life. That is sad. I try to remember that I am me, myself and Clara. I try to do things which gives me my own personal space. Reading, an occasional meal with a good friend, reading the papers, even driving to work alone. These are activities which give me my personal space. It helps me keep in mind that my life is more than just my work and kids.
How do I manage that? I think the key is to LET GO. Let go of the guilt that I cannot be with my children 24x7. Let go of the type A nature inherent in most parents and leave it to the next best caregiver you can find for your children if you have to work or be away from them. Let go of the worries and learn to look at the bigger picture. That doesn't mean you don't give two hoots about things that happen to your child. You just need to look at the important things. I'm blessed with a domestic helper who is responsible and loving. She helps me take good care of my sons. Does she take care of them the way I would if I were to be a stay home mom? No. Does she have a good command of the English language? No. Does she keep the house totally spick and span? No. Is she a fantastic cook? No. Why then do I still employ her? Does she love my sons? Yes. Does she make sure they have their meals on time when I'm not home? Yes. Does she put them to sleep at their bedtimes? Yes. Does she make sure we all have clean clothes to wear? Yes. Does she make sure we have our dinner when we come home from work? Yes. Does she try her best? Yes.
It's not possible to find that perfect caregiver, whether it is a domestic helper, a grandparent, a childcare teacher or a nanny. But it is possible to manage our expectations. The higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment. I don't expect much so I don't get disappointed often. How can I be happy? Why not? My kids are healthy, happy and absolutely darling. Xavier can be a crybaby at times. Keane is an absolute nightmare who throws the champion of tantrums. Ryan demands to be carried most of the time and cannot keep his hands off anything within reach. Are they perfect? YES. As cliched as it may sound, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have them. They have made me stronger, more understanding, more patient and more tolerant. They made me realize that it is possible to be the most important person in someone's life, even if it were till they find another love in life. They made me realize that I can be someone another being can be dependent on.
Quote for the week:
A parent should be a lifeguard. Allow the swimmer to show off his own stroke but be always ready to come to the rescue at any sign of a call for help.
Singapore is facing a declining birth rate and the government is trying to encourage citizens to have more babies. In fact, it's been several years since these efforts began. Why is it that we still don't see a boom? I believe there are many reasons for this phenomena in Singapore.
There are couples who feel that children are too big a responsibility to shoulder. I agree that children are a huge responsibility. Like some Chinese would say "生孩子容易，养孩子不简单". Simply put, it's easy to give birth to a children but no easy feat to bring one up. A parent needs to provide for his child's emotional, social and physiological needs - for at least 20 years. Some people are not prepared to give so much to another being for so long. You might call it selfish. But at least they make the decision up front and do not have a child who is soon forsaken or neglected, even worse, abused.
My heart aches whenever I read about parental abuse of children. I wonder how parents in their right minds can bring about any form of suffering to their flesh and blood. For isn't that what a child is? The very flesh and blood of his parents? It's a miracle for a child to be conceived and develop from a minuscule zygote to a baby. Life in itself is a miracle and for a parent to abuse that miracle is inhumane.
Other couples feel that it is too expensive to bring up a child in Singapore and often stop at one baby. Is it society's fault, as often pointed out by many people? Why blame society? No one is forced to buy OshKosh or Baby Gap for their kids. No one is forced to send their kids to the most expensive child care centers. No one is forced to buy expensive toys for their children every weekend. Why then do people still do that? Not everyone can afford to give their children a luxurious lifestyle but those who can will say that they want to give the best they can to their children. What is the best for our children? A luxurious lifestyle or a balanced lifestyle filled with love and care? Some parents will give their children a lot of material things and I suspect, like me, they feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children. Do we sacrifice quality time with our children to pursue a career or an activity filled personal life? This has a lot to do with individual values.
As a working person, I have a responsibility towards my company to give my best. But it has to be within limits. How do I handle that? I give my all during the week. I work long hours and try to squeeze in a couple of hours with my kids when I reach home, before I hit the laptop again. Sometimes I just put the laptop aside and take a rest. When it is the weekend, all my time is spent with my children, except for the occasional facial that I allow myself. I think being able to maintain a healthy balance not only ensures quality time is spent with children without sacrificing work responsibilities, it also maintains my sanity. It also helps to be up front with your company and it helps a great deal to have an understanding boss. I'm blessed to work in a company that believes in employees maintaining a balanced lifestyle and having a boss who knows what it is like to be a working parent with 3 young children.
Being a parent doesn't mean equating your life to your child's. That would be a mistake which would make everyone miserable. Some parents lose themselves during their journey in parenthood and when their children grow up, they cannot find themselves anymore and lose their purpose in life. That is sad. I try to remember that I am me, myself and Clara. I try to do things which gives me my own personal space. Reading, an occasional meal with a good friend, reading the papers, even driving to work alone. These are activities which give me my personal space. It helps me keep in mind that my life is more than just my work and kids.
How do I manage that? I think the key is to LET GO. Let go of the guilt that I cannot be with my children 24x7. Let go of the type A nature inherent in most parents and leave it to the next best caregiver you can find for your children if you have to work or be away from them. Let go of the worries and learn to look at the bigger picture. That doesn't mean you don't give two hoots about things that happen to your child. You just need to look at the important things. I'm blessed with a domestic helper who is responsible and loving. She helps me take good care of my sons. Does she take care of them the way I would if I were to be a stay home mom? No. Does she have a good command of the English language? No. Does she keep the house totally spick and span? No. Is she a fantastic cook? No. Why then do I still employ her? Does she love my sons? Yes. Does she make sure they have their meals on time when I'm not home? Yes. Does she put them to sleep at their bedtimes? Yes. Does she make sure we all have clean clothes to wear? Yes. Does she make sure we have our dinner when we come home from work? Yes. Does she try her best? Yes.
It's not possible to find that perfect caregiver, whether it is a domestic helper, a grandparent, a childcare teacher or a nanny. But it is possible to manage our expectations. The higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment. I don't expect much so I don't get disappointed often. How can I be happy? Why not? My kids are healthy, happy and absolutely darling. Xavier can be a crybaby at times. Keane is an absolute nightmare who throws the champion of tantrums. Ryan demands to be carried most of the time and cannot keep his hands off anything within reach. Are they perfect? YES. As cliched as it may sound, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have them. They have made me stronger, more understanding, more patient and more tolerant. They made me realize that it is possible to be the most important person in someone's life, even if it were till they find another love in life. They made me realize that I can be someone another being can be dependent on.
Quote for the week:
A parent should be a lifeguard. Allow the swimmer to show off his own stroke but be always ready to come to the rescue at any sign of a call for help.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
INSPIRATION.....
Here's the link to Shin's cancer blog.....if it doesn't work, do a search for shin's cancer blog....
http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/
I've never read her blog although I've seen her in the news....after reading it, I'm even more inspired to continue with my blog and I want to make this something that I can leave for my children, hubby and friends. A piece of me which will be there.....
I'd like to share something about my children...I call them my 3 monstrous musketeers.....Xavier (5), Keane (3) and Ryan (9 mths).
My lovely boys are the joy of my life. I can go on and on about them so there you have my source for going on with blogging.
Something sweet and funny that Xavier said:
Xavier: Mummy, I want a mei-mei (little sister)....
Me: Who's going to look after mei-mei?
Xavier: I'll look after mei-mei and Keane will look after Ryan. But please stop after that otherwise there will be too many children (in our family).....
On another occasion:
Xavier: Mummy, when I am six and Keane is four and Ryan is two, can we have a mei-mei?
I wonder why my son's asking me for a little sister. He probably wants to balance the sexes in our family.
I can't share much about what Keane says as he is still focusing on physical development rather than speech. But here's one that's bound to bring on a smile. My mom has a habit of saying "call me" when she meets Keane, in an effort to teach him manners in her own way. So he is used to saying "po po" (granny) in response.
Conversation between Keane and hubby:
Dad: Call me...
Keane: po po
Dad: Call ME...
Keane: po po
Dad (exasperated): no...call me Daddy.
Keane: Daddy
Dad: call me
Keane: po po
This is a classic example of the dangers of teaching by rote. I have to help me unlearn the rote answer to the request "call me". Maybe it's simpler if we just not make that request to him. His life is quite complicated as it is.
I think I know where this will go and I will see if I can continue in this direction......
I seriously have to think of how to improve the look of this blog. For now it will have to be character being more important than looks, or content more important than cover.
http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/
I've never read her blog although I've seen her in the news....after reading it, I'm even more inspired to continue with my blog and I want to make this something that I can leave for my children, hubby and friends. A piece of me which will be there.....
I'd like to share something about my children...I call them my 3 monstrous musketeers.....Xavier (5), Keane (3) and Ryan (9 mths).
My lovely boys are the joy of my life. I can go on and on about them so there you have my source for going on with blogging.
Something sweet and funny that Xavier said:
Xavier: Mummy, I want a mei-mei (little sister)....
Me: Who's going to look after mei-mei?
Xavier: I'll look after mei-mei and Keane will look after Ryan. But please stop after that otherwise there will be too many children (in our family).....
On another occasion:
Xavier: Mummy, when I am six and Keane is four and Ryan is two, can we have a mei-mei?
I wonder why my son's asking me for a little sister. He probably wants to balance the sexes in our family.
I can't share much about what Keane says as he is still focusing on physical development rather than speech. But here's one that's bound to bring on a smile. My mom has a habit of saying "call me" when she meets Keane, in an effort to teach him manners in her own way. So he is used to saying "po po" (granny) in response.
Conversation between Keane and hubby:
Dad: Call me...
Keane: po po
Dad: Call ME...
Keane: po po
Dad (exasperated): no...call me Daddy.
Keane: Daddy
Dad: call me
Keane: po po
This is a classic example of the dangers of teaching by rote. I have to help me unlearn the rote answer to the request "call me". Maybe it's simpler if we just not make that request to him. His life is quite complicated as it is.
I think I know where this will go and I will see if I can continue in this direction......
I seriously have to think of how to improve the look of this blog. For now it will have to be character being more important than looks, or content more important than cover.
THE WEEKEND IS HERE!!!!
The weekend is finally here....I wonder where time went. It is now February 2009 and it seems only yesterday that I was enjoying my year end holidays. Maybe I just simply had too long a holiday which extended beyond 2008....
I am still undecided on how my blog should work out. Some people blog to share their personal life. Some people blog to share ideas. Some people blog to earn money. I wonder if it is possible to combine all the good stuff.....I mean would anyone pay you for sharing your personal life online? I mean, if I were David Beckham or Brad Pitt, sure, who wouldn't pay me right?
I'll just go with the flow and see what I can come up with. But I think the gist is that some time later, when I'm old and wrinkly, I can look back and have a good laugh. Or my future generations may have a look and find out what kind of person I am or used to be.
I was inspired to blog when I saw a program on a lady Shin who started her cancer blog. She was battling cancer and decided to start a blog and I think her life inspired many people. I will try to find her blog and see if I can create a link to it. I'm not technically savvy but I'll try to do it anyway. Maybe after I read her blog I may be inspired.....
Till then, here's cheers to the weekend!
Quote for the weekend:
You may end up in cow dung and think you are in trouble but cow dung is fertilizer for lovely roses and that's what you may emerge as, smelling of roses, if you'd only let the dung fertilize you.
I am still undecided on how my blog should work out. Some people blog to share their personal life. Some people blog to share ideas. Some people blog to earn money. I wonder if it is possible to combine all the good stuff.....I mean would anyone pay you for sharing your personal life online? I mean, if I were David Beckham or Brad Pitt, sure, who wouldn't pay me right?
I'll just go with the flow and see what I can come up with. But I think the gist is that some time later, when I'm old and wrinkly, I can look back and have a good laugh. Or my future generations may have a look and find out what kind of person I am or used to be.
I was inspired to blog when I saw a program on a lady Shin who started her cancer blog. She was battling cancer and decided to start a blog and I think her life inspired many people. I will try to find her blog and see if I can create a link to it. I'm not technically savvy but I'll try to do it anyway. Maybe after I read her blog I may be inspired.....
Till then, here's cheers to the weekend!
Quote for the weekend:
You may end up in cow dung and think you are in trouble but cow dung is fertilizer for lovely roses and that's what you may emerge as, smelling of roses, if you'd only let the dung fertilize you.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I WANT TO BLOG!!!!!
A friend told me that is good to start with an attention grabber.....I didn't think it wise to put something rude on the title so I just tried to shout my thought....
This is my first blog entry.....frankly, I don't know why I decided to start a blog. I always thought that it's kinda strange to write your personal thoughts online and let strangers read them. I guess I'm going through a mid-life crisis.....what the heck.
Blogging is the trend now.....but I'm nothing close to being trendy. I am probably one of those slackers who is starting at a time when blogging is losing its popularity....is it?
Do I think I will have the patience to carry on blogging in the long term? Doubt it. But hey, we all live once so why not give everything, well almost, a shot, eh? Here's my shot in capturing my voice....or my thoughts if you want to be literal about it.
I guess it is only fair to the readers, if I have any, to introduce myself.....NAH....not yet anyway.
So why am I blogging?....I guess I always felt that I have this knack for putting my thoughts into words. I used to be flowery in my words but then business writing took over and then it's being PC, shooting arrows tactically, block arrows, emerging from shit smelling like roses and all that.....so I think I've lost half my skills.....So here I am trying to improve my literary skills. I think it's my chance to leave my legacy somewhere in the world.....when I was a kid, I used to think of life as a canvas board and everyone leaves their mark when they pass through life. And boy did I want to make sure my mark will be colorful. Have I succeeded? I sure had an outrageous life so far (it's too dangerous to reveal too many deep dark secrets here) but I'm far from leaving my colorful mark. So I guess this blog may help a little.....
I'm going to share some of my principles in life as a start (of course some are inspired by people I know, used to know and may never know):
1) Always wear nice underwear - you'll never know when you need to end up in hospital and have strangers start handling you...wouldn't want anyone seeing you in auntie-undies or granny pants....
2) Try not to step on anybody's toes cos they may be connected to the bottoms you'd have to kiss in future.
3) Don't think that you are better than your boss. If you are, you will be his boss.
4) What goes round comes around, so don't throw sh*t at others unless you know they are covered in superglue. Heck, even superglue cannot hold sh*t....any ideas? Just don't dish out sh*t.
5) Never use words which you won't literally put into your mouth, e.g. sh*t, cr*p, etc.....but no one will stop you if you want to be a rebel without a cause.
6) Never never be the cog that jams the mechanism of the clock tower.
7) If you have kids and the kids grow up to be bad, remember it's the parents' fault for being poor teachers. If the kids grow up to be good, it's their credit for being good students.
8) No matter how hard you try, you can always do better.......tomorrow.
9) Tomorrow may never come.
10) Don't try to be funny if you don't have a funny bone. If no one laughs, you don't have it.
That's today's attempt at humour. Till tomorrow.....
This is my first blog entry.....frankly, I don't know why I decided to start a blog. I always thought that it's kinda strange to write your personal thoughts online and let strangers read them. I guess I'm going through a mid-life crisis.....what the heck.
Blogging is the trend now.....but I'm nothing close to being trendy. I am probably one of those slackers who is starting at a time when blogging is losing its popularity....is it?
Do I think I will have the patience to carry on blogging in the long term? Doubt it. But hey, we all live once so why not give everything, well almost, a shot, eh? Here's my shot in capturing my voice....or my thoughts if you want to be literal about it.
I guess it is only fair to the readers, if I have any, to introduce myself.....NAH....not yet anyway.
So why am I blogging?....I guess I always felt that I have this knack for putting my thoughts into words. I used to be flowery in my words but then business writing took over and then it's being PC, shooting arrows tactically, block arrows, emerging from shit smelling like roses and all that.....so I think I've lost half my skills.....So here I am trying to improve my literary skills. I think it's my chance to leave my legacy somewhere in the world.....when I was a kid, I used to think of life as a canvas board and everyone leaves their mark when they pass through life. And boy did I want to make sure my mark will be colorful. Have I succeeded? I sure had an outrageous life so far (it's too dangerous to reveal too many deep dark secrets here) but I'm far from leaving my colorful mark. So I guess this blog may help a little.....
I'm going to share some of my principles in life as a start (of course some are inspired by people I know, used to know and may never know):
1) Always wear nice underwear - you'll never know when you need to end up in hospital and have strangers start handling you...wouldn't want anyone seeing you in auntie-undies or granny pants....
2) Try not to step on anybody's toes cos they may be connected to the bottoms you'd have to kiss in future.
3) Don't think that you are better than your boss. If you are, you will be his boss.
4) What goes round comes around, so don't throw sh*t at others unless you know they are covered in superglue. Heck, even superglue cannot hold sh*t....any ideas? Just don't dish out sh*t.
5) Never use words which you won't literally put into your mouth, e.g. sh*t, cr*p, etc.....but no one will stop you if you want to be a rebel without a cause.
6) Never never be the cog that jams the mechanism of the clock tower.
7) If you have kids and the kids grow up to be bad, remember it's the parents' fault for being poor teachers. If the kids grow up to be good, it's their credit for being good students.
8) No matter how hard you try, you can always do better.......tomorrow.
9) Tomorrow may never come.
10) Don't try to be funny if you don't have a funny bone. If no one laughs, you don't have it.
That's today's attempt at humour. Till tomorrow.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)