The teachers in school have been asking us to bring Keane for a professional diagnosis. I kept delaying the process subconsciously. I think I was fearful of the results. We finally went because this was brought up again during the recent parent teacher conference. We brought him to Thomson Medical Center and consulted the in house pediatrician Dr Ang Poon Liat. He was pretty cool about it. Said Keane was not autistic. Then he said something which reinforced my mindset. When I said that we wanted to find out whether Keane was normal, he said that normalcy is a very wide range. Some children are very intelligent and fast while others may be slower. It's a matter of what is acceptable to the parent that determines whether the child is normal in the parent's mind.
I have 3 very different children. Each of them are adorable in their own way. Each of them intelligent. My colleague asked me how I manage to have enough love for all my children. I remember that I told Xavier this before Keane was born:
We are having another baby. Daddy and Mummy will love this baby but it doesn't mean we love you any less. Our love will grow so that we have more love to give to this new baby. The love we have for you is still there and will not be any less.
I don't know how to explain but that's how it is. I love my children equally. I love that Xavier is so mature and can take care of his brothers. I love his artistry and creativity. I love how determined he is to complete constructing his lego set. I love Keane for his innocence. I love how he is so fussy about his dressing. I love how he loves his brothers and how he doesn't hit them no matter how upset he is with them. I love how he answers my questions on who he loves with a resounding YES! "Do you love Daddy? YES! Do you love Mummy? YES!" I love how Ryan will always want me to carry him when I am around. I love how Ryan is cheeky and mischievious. I love how he shows his intelligence with naughty pranks and tricks.
Sometimes I feel guilty about not spending enough time with my children due to my work. But I don't blame my work. It's my choice to have a balance between my work and my kids. I will not work during weekends, unless they are asleep. I will not work if my kids need me - when they are sick, when they are celebrating their birthdays.
I registered Keane for music classes today. He will start next week and I will accompany him every Saturday. I hope the music will help him calm down but most importantly I hope he enjoys himself and have fun.
Will keep you updated......