Lessons from a child

Mummy: Ryan, you need to go to the doctor.
Ryan: No!
Mummy: Why not? You have a bit of sore eyes...you should go to the doctor.
Ryan: No, I don't want to go to the doctor.
Mummy: Why?
Ryan: There are germs......

Mummy: Did you eat your medicine?
Ryan: No. Mummy: Why not?
Ryan: Because I DRANK my medicine.

Eye saga meets accident

4 days after my last post, I was struck with conjunctivitis. I was out on medical leave for last week. I went to the GP 3 times before he reluctantly handed me a referral to a specialist. I went to the specialist on Saturday and he prompted gave me one week medical leave with the assurance that it will take at least another week for me to recover. This is the least of my issues.

This afternoon, I received a call from hubby who yelled into the phone, "Come here now, we just got into an accident, it's very bad! Very bad!". I couldn't hear him clearly but I could hear Ryan crying in the background. I quickly changed out of my pyjamas and asked the domestic helper to get ready to follow me. All the while my heart started beating faster by the minute. By the time the phone rang again, a minute later, I was shivering.

I finally got the location of the accident and we made our way. Remember I still have conjunctivitis and I couldn't open my eyes very wide. All throughout the drive, my heart was racing and I kept asking God to watch over my family. Strangely, I was grateful I just said a prayer of thanks to God 2 days ago and asked him to keep my family safe from all danger.

I reached the place of the accident within 10 minutes and was relieved to see my kids sitting on some structure near the junction. They were surprisingly calm until they saw us. Then they started crying. After some comforting, they stopped crying. I was aghast at the sight of the cars. For some weird reason, hubby's car was in the wrong lane, facing the wrong direction. I asked him how the heck it happened.

Apparently a lady was turning right from the opposite lane but didn't stop to check for oncoming cars. I guess her vision was blocked at the junction. Hubby was going straight and he swerved sharply to the left to avoid a headlong collision. Hence, the weird angle. A guy was taking photos at the scene. The lady came up to me and said she was the one who caused the accident and that she was sorry. I said it's ok, no one was seriously injured. I could tell she genuinely felt bad and I didn't want to make it any worse for her. I remember that I was very scared when I hit the back of a car on an expressway many years ago and I don't think she need another source of stress.

Ryan had abrasions and a cut on his forehead because he was on the front seat. Apparently he slipped off the booster seat and onto some broken glass. Luckily he had his seat belt on. I think there was bleeding but it stopped before I arrived on the scene.

They had to wait for the tow truck and file a police report for insurance purpose. I had to whisk the kids off to fetch Xavier. On the way to Endeavour, I listened to Keane's rendition of the accident. "Daddy went straight, then turned left, then bang!". Ryan said, "Daddy's car crashed! I have blood!"

It was a close call. By the time I reached the school gate, a lot of kids were on their way out. Xavier was normally one of the first few at the gate and I was worried that I missed him. Remember I cannot see very clearly with my eyes. After some time he appeared. When I told him that dad was in an accident, he asked, "So whose fault is it? Didn't the lady hear Daddy warn her when he came?". This is a result of his dad sounding the horn every time he is approaching a junction to warn people of his approach. Something which I don't do and get criticised for. What's the need if you are on a slow approach and can stop easily?

We went to the clinic for a check on Ryan and left with an anti-bacterial cream. All's well now at home and you wouldn't know that they were involved in an accident. Ryan even said, "I want to tell my teacher my daddy's car crashed!".

I stayed pretty calm throughout the episode which took no more than an hour. This is just another reminder that life is very precious and we sometimes need reminders like that, as much as we don't want them. I'm glad my family is safe and sound, conjunctivitis and all.

The Eye and more

Xavier is recovering from conjunctivitis. It's Day 12 and the left eye is now recovering. The right eye is in its fifth day and looks set to recover after we went to a specialist today. The stronger antibiotics definitely helped a lot.

Keane has sore eye - the right one. He tagged along to the specialist today and hopefully the stronger medication will curb the spread to his left eye.

Hubby's right eye is also down. Even the domestic helper has a case of sore eye.

The only spared ones so far are Ryan and myself. Ryan had fever today and his left eye looks like it's turning red. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

The trip to the specialist was almost uneventful. I went home from the office when I found out that they could squeeze us into the schedule this morning. I brought Xavier and Keane to Mount Alvernia Hospital. We consulted Dr James Pan. Young chap who was good with the kids. The nurses were kind. The boys couldn't keep their hands to themselves and Keane received a chiding from one of the nurses after she observed my inability to rein him in.

She apologized to me for chiding him but said we need to impose discipline. I wasn't too upset about the incident but I guess some parents might have been offended. When I was a kids, I witnessed how my mom would sometimes make use of strangers to warn us. She'd say, "you better behalf otherwise uncle or auntie will scold you". Why we would believe her words is something I wouldn't understand but believe her we did.

I read 孔子's 弟子规 today. It is very interesting and I took some time to go through some of the paragraphs with Xavier. 弟子规 is part of the syllabus they cover in Endeavour Primary School and I appreciate that part of the education Xavier is receiving. Before I share some parts which I found interesting, I must give credit to the company that printed this book for free distribution. C.W. Printing. I picked this book up from People's Park Center. There are a couple of shelves in a corner where materials like CDs and books are placed for free distribution to the public. It is mostly Buddhism related material. This one was titled "弟子规-Standards for Being a Good Student & Child".

I like the following parts and I'm going to quote from the book which has an English translation for every phrase of the original Chinese text:

亲仁
Chapter 6 - Be Close to and Learn from People of Virtue and Compassion
第六章 - 亲近仁慈以及有德行的人向他们学习

同是人 We are all human,
类不齐 but we are not the same.
流俗众 Most of us are ordinary;
仁者希 only a very few have great virtues and high moral principles.

果仁者 A truly virtuous person
人多畏 is greatly respected by others.
言不讳 He will not be afraid to speak the truth and
色不媚 he will not fawn on others

能亲仁 If you are close to and learn from people of great virtue and compassion,
无限好 you will benefit immensely.
德日进 Your virtues will grow daily and
过日少 your wrongdoings will lessen day by day.

不亲仁 If you are not close to and learn from people of great virtue,
无限害 you will suffer a great loss.
小人进 People without virtue will get close to you and
百事坏 nothing you do will succeed.

I think this chapter truly explains the need to pick our friends carefully. I will make it a point to explain 弟子规 to my sons when they are of age to be able to appreciate the values. Xavier is on the start of his journey and I pray that I will be able to help him grow as a person.

Food for thought

I'm trying to cut down my food intake in a futile attempt to lose weight. It's definitely very hard.

Food is a big feature in our lives. A good breakfast heralds a good day ahead. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee will stir the cogs of one's mind. The golden and runny yolk of an egg is a gentle reminder that the simplest thing in life can be very fulfilling.

Lunch is often a well thought plan where I work. A group of us will take turns to nominate the day's craving. The troop never fails to have a good lunch. It's not just the food. The camaraderie makes the whole affair worth the trip, the wait and the suspense for your order to turn up all the more bearable. Gossip, jokes and idle chit chat are the important fillers toward an enjoyable lunch.

Dinner is the highlight of my day. It's when I get a chance to sit down with hubby, and sometimes the kids, for a meal. It's usually when family catch up, asking about each other's day and highlights. Companionable silence while you eat your food at the end of a disastrous day is a sure way to soothe your nerves. The comforting presence of your family speaks volumes.

Now you can see how hard it is to reduce my food intake. It sounds like a lame excuse, but I find it hard to deprive myself of the joy of eating with someone. The amount of food I eat increases with the amount of fun I'm having.

I conclude that the best way to diet is to eat alone. For me anyway.

Friendship

It's amazing how friendships can withstand time, especially for someone like me. I'm not good at making effort to keep in touch with friends. It's a miracle that I still have friends from 20 years ago. I've not kept in touch with anyone who went to the same primary or secondary school with. I've lost all contact with friends from university as well. The bunch that could really survive my lack of effort were the guys from my junior college, specifically the ones from the students' council.

Maybe it's because they knew me when I was at my best. At a time when I wasn't bossy, aloof and self absorbed. When I was 16, I was more cheery, less jaded and just simply sunshine. Of course there will always be those, like Gabriel, who will beg to differ. He knows too many of my dark secrets and would make a lucrative trade through blackmail or sale of secrets.

Jokes aside, these are the people I trust and most accepting of me, faults and all in tow. Maybe I'm just being too critical of the other people who were once part of my life. Truth be told, those days when I was with this group of friends was when I truly was at my best as a person. I felt good when I was with them.

At other times of my life, I was either trying to figure out what I wanted and ignoring people around me or just plain self centered, going after what I thought I wanted in life then. It was mistake after mistake. That is the part of growing up. I'm taking a defensive approach of "out of sight, out of mind". If I don't see the people who witnessed my mistakes or who were hurt in the process, I would not feel so bad. It's like how some people change jobs to have a fresh start. I did that once and never looked back since.

Marriage and family definitely affected my social life as well but I don't feel the loss. My family is still the most important part of my life.

I'm just glad that I still have this group of friends. They know me and know that my lack of effort does not equate to my lack of spirit. After all, my flesh is truly and undeniably weak. That's my excuse.

The Mee Pok Man

I just had an enjoyable lunch of fishball Mee Pok with Gabriel and Adeline. Before I go into other details, I need to state that I was chided for being an inconsistent blogger during lunch.

We met up to enjoy my father-in-law's fishball noodles. My father-in-law sells fishball noodles at Beo Crescent. His stall is quite famous and has many followers. One of Gabriel's friend, who is one such loyalist, was the catalyst for our lunch. He craved the noodles but never fail to go to the stall during their rest day. We don't understand why he cannot follow instructions. The conclusion was that his craving was so strong that it drove away all logic and sensibilities from his mind.

Yes, the fishball noodles are that good. It is all about the chilli and ba-yu pok. What is ba-yu pok? It's fried lard! It adds the fragrance to the noodles. Nan Yuan (南园) @ Blk 38, Beo Crescent, #01-68. It's a must try. The unfortunate thing is no one wants to inherit the business. Even my in-laws do not encourage their children because it's a hard life.

More about this later.....