I will share some experiences about the terrible twos. To be honest, the twos portion is just a guide, and with a big margin......the terrible twos can start anytime before the one and not end until the fours! And you won't know until it's over! That's the challenging part.
Just like the other night when a group of coworkers and I were having dinner. Some folks did not turn up until much later. I said that when the last person came, we would have to simultaneously say "Drink! Drink! Drink!" and make the person drink a beer or something. But some intelligent person said "how would you know if that person is the last or not?". The saying "It ain't over till the fat lady sings" doesn't apply here cos there definitely wasn't a fat lady present.
Back to the twos....
Ryan is really intelligent and I'm saying this without any prejudice as a mother. He is totally manipulative, like all kids. He knows when to pull at your heart strings with his pout, cries or tantrums.
Recently, he plucked all the fruits of our orange type plant at home, leaving 2 hanging. There was no reason for him to do that and we didn't understand. It was probably attention seeking behaviour. It was also him trying to test his boundaries. That's why I'm very insistent that we have to correct the child immediately after he does something unacceptable. Any later, it will have no effect and may confuse the child - he wouldn't understand why he is being corrected. Any sooner and he will not learn from his mistake because he wouldn't have made any mistake. That's what the terrible twos are about - it's about the child testing his/her boundaries which will affect his principles in future.
Ryan has his principles which he follows. He is not greedy. When you offer him something which he already has, he will tell you that he has it already and refuse to take your offer. If he has already tried something, he will make sure he knows. You need to convince him that something which you need him to do makes sense before he will comply. He likes pretending to be performing lion dance but he is afraid of the real lion dance costume.
Each person is unique in his/her own right. To me, Ryan is the epitome of unique.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Home sweet home.....
I arrived home this morning.....it always warms my heart when the stewardess ends her arrival announcement with "and to all Singaporeans, a warm welcome home".
I had quite a good sleep on the flight, considering that I wasn't able to make it through an entire movie. I was very tired and very ready to go home after 3 weeks in Tokyo. Fortunately I bought a net book and brought it with me during this last trip. I was able to use Skype to make free video calls home. The kids were ecstatic when they could see me on the computer. It made the distance easier to manage.
When I reached home, Ryan couldn't get enough of me. I think he is the most dependent on me. It's natural since he is still a toddler. He clung on to me most of the time and we couldn't give each other enough hugs and kisses. My parents came over with breakfast, groceries and plants.
Despite being tired, I made sure I brought Keane for his music class in the morning. Much to my embarrassment, I almost dozed off in class. But fortunately Keane was able to manage, as usual. Keane is one year younger than most of his classmates at Yamaha. So sometimes his behaviour came across as an inability to control his emotions. He is easily excited and highly participative. However, he has difficulty controlling his voice volume.
I feel that my kids have come to accept that I'm not going to be very much around during their daily routine. I know that may sound terrible but I'm glad that they are beginning to have lower expectations. Lower expectations mean lesser disappointment. Hence, I try to increase the quality of the time I spend with them. I also try to impart values of big eldest brother to Xavier so that he can help me impart them to his brothers through his ways. I hope this will work.
Despite the fact that being away from home gives me some respite from the bickering and sometimes over demanding behaviour of the children, there's no place sweeter than home.
I had quite a good sleep on the flight, considering that I wasn't able to make it through an entire movie. I was very tired and very ready to go home after 3 weeks in Tokyo. Fortunately I bought a net book and brought it with me during this last trip. I was able to use Skype to make free video calls home. The kids were ecstatic when they could see me on the computer. It made the distance easier to manage.
When I reached home, Ryan couldn't get enough of me. I think he is the most dependent on me. It's natural since he is still a toddler. He clung on to me most of the time and we couldn't give each other enough hugs and kisses. My parents came over with breakfast, groceries and plants.
Despite being tired, I made sure I brought Keane for his music class in the morning. Much to my embarrassment, I almost dozed off in class. But fortunately Keane was able to manage, as usual. Keane is one year younger than most of his classmates at Yamaha. So sometimes his behaviour came across as an inability to control his emotions. He is easily excited and highly participative. However, he has difficulty controlling his voice volume.
I feel that my kids have come to accept that I'm not going to be very much around during their daily routine. I know that may sound terrible but I'm glad that they are beginning to have lower expectations. Lower expectations mean lesser disappointment. Hence, I try to increase the quality of the time I spend with them. I also try to impart values of big eldest brother to Xavier so that he can help me impart them to his brothers through his ways. I hope this will work.
Despite the fact that being away from home gives me some respite from the bickering and sometimes over demanding behaviour of the children, there's no place sweeter than home.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
My mother
I decided to write about my mother today because I was talking about her a couple of days ago during lunch.
My mother is a very unique character. When I was young, I felt that my mother favoured my brother over me. She would do everything for him. I didn't envy that though. Because my mother is what a lot of people call a control freak. She likes us to do things her way and would sulk when we don't, sometimes anyway.
She would call us very regularly when we are out to check on us and find out what time we were coming home. Even today, she would call me almost everyday to check on me. Now, I'm not a chatty person over the phone. Not with my mother anyway. So I used to and still show my impatience when she calls me. I know it's not a good thing but I cannot help it. My husband will chit chat with his mother over the phone almost everyday. I don't. When it comes to my mother, sometimes I feel like I'm being interrogated when I'm on the phone with her. Sometimes. She would ask whether I ate, what I ate, where I went, etc.
My mother was also very stern during my younger days. She never had much of a smile, I seldom saw her laugh and she was the disciplinarian at home. My friends were terrified of her. There was once my mother came to my school for a concert and one of my friends came over to inform me, with much cheer, that my mother was smiling! It was a rare sight for them.
BUT...like everything else that always come with a big BUT....I have gotten used to her and after I became a mother, I realize how difficult it is to be one. My mother had it tough, she was a stay home mother and had to take care of the family, all the household chores and cook for us.....all without domestic help. I did it a couple of times for a couple of weeks each and after that, I feel that my mother must have been a superwoman.
She grew up in a tough environment. She was sold when she was a baby or a toddler. She grew up in a big family and was the eldest of the children. There were 6 of them including her. She had to do the laundry for the whole family and household chores. Being the eldest and adopted, she was not pampered. I strongly believe that this contributed to her bitterness. She only broke free when she married my father.
My mother's controlling nature is the only way she knows how to show her love for us. She puts her heart into everything she does, in the way shes knows how. She knows that she wants to make things easy for us by doing all the housework, letting us laze around and watch television programmes while she labours away in the kitchen. Even till today, my mother takes care of more things than she should for me. She buys groceries for my family, she buys us breakfast every time she comes over on the weekend, she buys whatever she can for my kids.
She has mellowed over the years and is smiling a lot more. She is enjoying her life as some people call it. My father's hard work has improved their lives very much and she is able to do what she likes to do most of the time. I'm glad because I know she deserves it.
I only hope that I can love my kids as much as my mother loves me.
My mother is a very unique character. When I was young, I felt that my mother favoured my brother over me. She would do everything for him. I didn't envy that though. Because my mother is what a lot of people call a control freak. She likes us to do things her way and would sulk when we don't, sometimes anyway.
She would call us very regularly when we are out to check on us and find out what time we were coming home. Even today, she would call me almost everyday to check on me. Now, I'm not a chatty person over the phone. Not with my mother anyway. So I used to and still show my impatience when she calls me. I know it's not a good thing but I cannot help it. My husband will chit chat with his mother over the phone almost everyday. I don't. When it comes to my mother, sometimes I feel like I'm being interrogated when I'm on the phone with her. Sometimes. She would ask whether I ate, what I ate, where I went, etc.
My mother was also very stern during my younger days. She never had much of a smile, I seldom saw her laugh and she was the disciplinarian at home. My friends were terrified of her. There was once my mother came to my school for a concert and one of my friends came over to inform me, with much cheer, that my mother was smiling! It was a rare sight for them.
BUT...like everything else that always come with a big BUT....I have gotten used to her and after I became a mother, I realize how difficult it is to be one. My mother had it tough, she was a stay home mother and had to take care of the family, all the household chores and cook for us.....all without domestic help. I did it a couple of times for a couple of weeks each and after that, I feel that my mother must have been a superwoman.
She grew up in a tough environment. She was sold when she was a baby or a toddler. She grew up in a big family and was the eldest of the children. There were 6 of them including her. She had to do the laundry for the whole family and household chores. Being the eldest and adopted, she was not pampered. I strongly believe that this contributed to her bitterness. She only broke free when she married my father.
My mother's controlling nature is the only way she knows how to show her love for us. She puts her heart into everything she does, in the way shes knows how. She knows that she wants to make things easy for us by doing all the housework, letting us laze around and watch television programmes while she labours away in the kitchen. Even till today, my mother takes care of more things than she should for me. She buys groceries for my family, she buys us breakfast every time she comes over on the weekend, she buys whatever she can for my kids.
She has mellowed over the years and is smiling a lot more. She is enjoying her life as some people call it. My father's hard work has improved their lives very much and she is able to do what she likes to do most of the time. I'm glad because I know she deserves it.
I only hope that I can love my kids as much as my mother loves me.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
10 things I wish for my children
I wish these for my children in their lives:
1) That they learn how to love and hate, and choose to love rather than hate.
2) That they learn how to give and take, and choose to give more than take.
3) That they find the joy in learning.
4) That they have a chance to feel the pain that comes with love.
5) That they find their own passion in life and live it.
6) That they can find someone they can love with all their soul.
7) That they are comfortable with themselves and can eat alone.
8) That they find an orthodox religion that can bring them through life.
9) That they can take care of the earth in their own way.
10) That they can leave their own mark in this world such that people will remember them even after they are gone.
I ask God to give me a chance to help them along the way for as long as He allows me to.
1) That they learn how to love and hate, and choose to love rather than hate.
2) That they learn how to give and take, and choose to give more than take.
3) That they find the joy in learning.
4) That they have a chance to feel the pain that comes with love.
5) That they find their own passion in life and live it.
6) That they can find someone they can love with all their soul.
7) That they are comfortable with themselves and can eat alone.
8) That they find an orthodox religion that can bring them through life.
9) That they can take care of the earth in their own way.
10) That they can leave their own mark in this world such that people will remember them even after they are gone.
I ask God to give me a chance to help them along the way for as long as He allows me to.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
10 things that I want to do before I die
1) Go on a safari in Africa
2) Watch the sunset over the pyramids in Egypt
3) Have a vacation in Greece and Italy again
4) Visit the Stonehenge
5) Visit the Great Wall of China
6) Book first class tickets on Singapore Airlines for my parents to anywhere they want
7) Write a best seller book
8) Spend a week watching Broadway musicals
9) See my children grow up and have their own families
10) Be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend
It's obvious that some are easily achievable, some are not....whatever it is, I will work towards them....wish me luck and help me if you can!
2) Watch the sunset over the pyramids in Egypt
3) Have a vacation in Greece and Italy again
4) Visit the Stonehenge
5) Visit the Great Wall of China
6) Book first class tickets on Singapore Airlines for my parents to anywhere they want
7) Write a best seller book
8) Spend a week watching Broadway musicals
9) See my children grow up and have their own families
10) Be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend
It's obvious that some are easily achievable, some are not....whatever it is, I will work towards them....wish me luck and help me if you can!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
10 things I like about Japan
I've been spending much time in Japan for work. There are many things which I find amazing and love in Japan.
1) Instant noodles.....the instant noodles are great. I like the design of the bowl for dry instant noodles. You can drain the hot water out of the bowl without losing a single strand of noodle! Fantastic.
2) Magnetic workstation panels.....Almost everything in our office, including walls, are magnetic. No need to use pins. And you can stick paper practically anywhere. Very cool.
3) Chocolates - I love Royce and Meiji....
4) Smallest power adaptor I've ever seen. It is tiny and can be used anywhere in the world. And costs only about JPY1,400.
5) Plum wine or brandy.....sake....excellent if you go to the right places.
6) Fast food....the turn around time at a fast food restaurant is about 20 minutes, 30 minutes flat.
7) Vending machines!!!!! They are everywhere. Even in small eateries. You buy a coupon, give the coupon to the person manning the counter. Get your food in 5 to 10 minutes. Eat your meal and leave. So efficient.
8) Toilet seat covers are from another world altogether. The toilet seat cover comes with a warmer, bidet, washer, flushing sound gadget and deodorizer. Yes, the seat is warm when you sit on it. Yes, water sprays as required.....and the flushing sound is supposed to hide any sounds which you make and not want others to hear. The deodorizer....need I say more?
9) Stationery.....all kinds of stationery. I like the pens which can contain multiple color refills. There was even one which contained a pencil and 2 pens in different colors. The writing paper is so lovely that you are almost afraid to write on it. There are also money envelopes for wedding gifts that are beautifully designed.
10) Snacks.....everything tastes great!
There are actually more things that I like about Japan but I will share them later.
I'm amazed at the number of hits on my blog....132 when I checked tonight. I didn't expect that people will read my blog. Maybe they came here by error.....LOL. Whatever the case, this is giving me motivation to continue. Of course, the amount of idle time I have when I am in Japan helps.......later.
1) Instant noodles.....the instant noodles are great. I like the design of the bowl for dry instant noodles. You can drain the hot water out of the bowl without losing a single strand of noodle! Fantastic.
2) Magnetic workstation panels.....Almost everything in our office, including walls, are magnetic. No need to use pins. And you can stick paper practically anywhere. Very cool.
3) Chocolates - I love Royce and Meiji....
4) Smallest power adaptor I've ever seen. It is tiny and can be used anywhere in the world. And costs only about JPY1,400.
5) Plum wine or brandy.....sake....excellent if you go to the right places.
6) Fast food....the turn around time at a fast food restaurant is about 20 minutes, 30 minutes flat.
7) Vending machines!!!!! They are everywhere. Even in small eateries. You buy a coupon, give the coupon to the person manning the counter. Get your food in 5 to 10 minutes. Eat your meal and leave. So efficient.
8) Toilet seat covers are from another world altogether. The toilet seat cover comes with a warmer, bidet, washer, flushing sound gadget and deodorizer. Yes, the seat is warm when you sit on it. Yes, water sprays as required.....and the flushing sound is supposed to hide any sounds which you make and not want others to hear. The deodorizer....need I say more?
9) Stationery.....all kinds of stationery. I like the pens which can contain multiple color refills. There was even one which contained a pencil and 2 pens in different colors. The writing paper is so lovely that you are almost afraid to write on it. There are also money envelopes for wedding gifts that are beautifully designed.
10) Snacks.....everything tastes great!
There are actually more things that I like about Japan but I will share them later.
I'm amazed at the number of hits on my blog....132 when I checked tonight. I didn't expect that people will read my blog. Maybe they came here by error.....LOL. Whatever the case, this is giving me motivation to continue. Of course, the amount of idle time I have when I am in Japan helps.......later.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Budget results
There were many goodies handed out this year.
There was something for the regular family and more for the lower income family, as usual. This is good. There was something for education, employment, home ownership, philantrophy, arts, training, businesses, economic development, seniors.
I felt it was a pretty good package and I am fully supportive of the government putting back S$4billion into our reserves. This was money that was drawn out of the reserves when we were facing challenging times before.
I haven't read the budget speech in detail so I'll give more comments later.
The Singapore government has always been very effective at managing its budget. Goh Keng Swee left a fantastic legacy indeed. Thanks to him, we have prudent and wise policies in place. Thank you.
There was something for the regular family and more for the lower income family, as usual. This is good. There was something for education, employment, home ownership, philantrophy, arts, training, businesses, economic development, seniors.
I felt it was a pretty good package and I am fully supportive of the government putting back S$4billion into our reserves. This was money that was drawn out of the reserves when we were facing challenging times before.
I haven't read the budget speech in detail so I'll give more comments later.
The Singapore government has always been very effective at managing its budget. Goh Keng Swee left a fantastic legacy indeed. Thanks to him, we have prudent and wise policies in place. Thank you.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
More changes
I've made some changes to my settings to allow anyone to post comments. Hopefully this will help me get some feedback. I didn't realize what settings I had that made it difficult for people to post comments.
The count has been going up slowly. Great!
The count has been going up slowly. Great!
Budget day.....
Tomorrow will be Budget Day for Singapore. The Minister for Finance will be letting us know where the money is coming and going for Singapore. This is usually a time of excitement for Singaporeans. We'll know whether the the government will be handing out goodies or not.
The Singapore government has been very effective in managing its budget.
The earners pay tax, depending on how much they earn, the not so well-to-do get incentives, cash bonuses or rebates. Almost everyone gets at least something. Wouldn't you think that it's great? Not everyone thinks that way. Some complain that they don't get enough, some complain that it's not fair. This is especially true for the group sandwiched between the very well-to-do or higher earners and the lower income group. We are neither rich enough to live what we deem is a comfortable live, nor poor enough to warrant substantial subsidies from the government.
What is a comfortable live? I think I've mentioned this before in an earlier blog. Look for it.
I had quite a lot to say about couples not wanting children. Many people ask me if we are going to try for another kid, especially a girl. I have recently started to say no. Not because I don't want a kid, but because I am unable to commit time to taking care of a baby for at least 6 months. I breast fed all my kids till they were 8, 6 and 9 months old. If I have another baby, I'd like to do the same. But my work requires frequent travel and I will not be able to make the kind of provisions I was able to with my kids.
If only the Budget 2011 will cater to that. Much longer paid maternity leave. I don't mind if I get paid half of my salary to be able to go on maternity leave for at least 6 months. The law now caters for 16 weeks of maternity. It makes more sense to have longer maternity leave. To be honest, it's easier to find a temporary contractual staff for 6 months than 3 months. When we have a temporary replacement, we need to spend at least 2 weeks to 1 month to train the person to do a half decent job. Then we have to have at least 1 week transition when the person returns from maternity leave. It may not be worth the effort to do that for a maternity leave of 8 or 12 weeks....
I hope the Budget brings me something interesting tomorrow......all the best!
The Singapore government has been very effective in managing its budget.
The earners pay tax, depending on how much they earn, the not so well-to-do get incentives, cash bonuses or rebates. Almost everyone gets at least something. Wouldn't you think that it's great? Not everyone thinks that way. Some complain that they don't get enough, some complain that it's not fair. This is especially true for the group sandwiched between the very well-to-do or higher earners and the lower income group. We are neither rich enough to live what we deem is a comfortable live, nor poor enough to warrant substantial subsidies from the government.
What is a comfortable live? I think I've mentioned this before in an earlier blog. Look for it.
I had quite a lot to say about couples not wanting children. Many people ask me if we are going to try for another kid, especially a girl. I have recently started to say no. Not because I don't want a kid, but because I am unable to commit time to taking care of a baby for at least 6 months. I breast fed all my kids till they were 8, 6 and 9 months old. If I have another baby, I'd like to do the same. But my work requires frequent travel and I will not be able to make the kind of provisions I was able to with my kids.
If only the Budget 2011 will cater to that. Much longer paid maternity leave. I don't mind if I get paid half of my salary to be able to go on maternity leave for at least 6 months. The law now caters for 16 weeks of maternity. It makes more sense to have longer maternity leave. To be honest, it's easier to find a temporary contractual staff for 6 months than 3 months. When we have a temporary replacement, we need to spend at least 2 weeks to 1 month to train the person to do a half decent job. Then we have to have at least 1 week transition when the person returns from maternity leave. It may not be worth the effort to do that for a maternity leave of 8 or 12 weeks....
I hope the Budget brings me something interesting tomorrow......all the best!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Expectations
I wanted to share some thoughts about expectations today. As much as we would like to deny, expectations are everywhere. It seem that humans are creatures who cannot live without expectations.
Let's start with basic expectations....we expect the sun to rise everyday, we expect to get some madness at work, we expect to be happy when we meet a loved one. We look forward to certain things in life. To me that is expectation.
At work, we expect a promotion or raise if we do a good job. We expect our bosses to be understand. We expect our subordinates to be star performers, maybe not.
At home, we expect our kids to do their best in school. We expect our domestic helper to keep the house clean, feed the kids, do the laundry.
But we hope against hope that our expectations do not come with disappointment. The saying "the higher the expectations, the bigger the disappointment".
The strange thing about humans is their inability to remove expectations from their lives, regardless of the number of disappointments we experience. We don't seem to learn from "mistakes" or past experience. Why?
Because expectations come with hope. Hope is positive. Hope makes us look forward to positive things. But hope doesn't seem to come with expectation. We can hope but we don't expect. Confusing? What did you expect?
Let's start with basic expectations....we expect the sun to rise everyday, we expect to get some madness at work, we expect to be happy when we meet a loved one. We look forward to certain things in life. To me that is expectation.
At work, we expect a promotion or raise if we do a good job. We expect our bosses to be understand. We expect our subordinates to be star performers, maybe not.
At home, we expect our kids to do their best in school. We expect our domestic helper to keep the house clean, feed the kids, do the laundry.
But we hope against hope that our expectations do not come with disappointment. The saying "the higher the expectations, the bigger the disappointment".
The strange thing about humans is their inability to remove expectations from their lives, regardless of the number of disappointments we experience. We don't seem to learn from "mistakes" or past experience. Why?
Because expectations come with hope. Hope is positive. Hope makes us look forward to positive things. But hope doesn't seem to come with expectation. We can hope but we don't expect. Confusing? What did you expect?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Buying food on his own in school......
After 3 days of "catered" recess, which was nothing more than cake or bread with water, Xavier was able to buy food on his own in the canteen. He would have a buddy from a senior class to help him for 3 days.
Xavier was very excited at the prospects. He was given $2 and used a small coin pouch to carry his money. The first 2 days went without much of a hitch. He would buy some noodles or rice with dishes. On the 3rd day, his buddy asked if he wanted to share Milo with him. Xavier agreed and the buddy asked for $0.50 from him. He then went to buy a cup of Milo which he proceeded to drink by himself. Xavier drinks only the water he brings to school during recess, which is probably why he didn't drink any of the Milo. Daddy got a bit upset because taking money from someone to buy something together was not his concept of sharing. Sharing was giving part of what you have to someone else. So the instructions to Xavier was to never ever give money to anyone without prior consent from his parents.
Xavier has a nature like many kids. He can eat the same thing day in and day out as long as he likes it. So it has been food from Chinatown Mixed Rice (sell rice with dishes) or Chinatown Noodles or something (noodle stall). I've not heard of any variation so far. There are many stalls in the school canteen but my boy will stick to these two.
Another interesting lesson he learnt was how to inform the stall keeper about the size of the dish before specifying the dish itself when he orders. The day he ordered noodles, he wanted a big plate because the regular sized plate was too small. He told the auntie at the stall that he wanted noodles but before he could say "big plate", the auntie turned around and gave him a regular sized plate. It's all about grammar. In English or Chinese - "I'd like a large plate of noodles". In Singlish "Noodles, big plate". My son is showing signs of Singlish....definitely.
Another incident related to buying food resulted in him having to carry several coins instead of a $2 note or 2 $1 coins to school. He gave the auntie $1 for a $0.70 plate of noodles and promptly left with his noodles, forgetting about his change. After that day, he had to carry sufficient $0.50, $0.20 and $0.10 coins so that he can give the exact change to the stall keeper. That was a cheap $0.30 lesson well learnt. You would have thought the stall keeper in a school would have been more honest. But maybe he was given a large sized plate which cost $1.00 instead of a regular sized one. But I'm sure he would know the difference between a regular sized plate and a large sized plate. His comment about the regular sized plate was "So small only! Not enough!".....positive demonstration of his Singlish.
No other mishaps about recess have been reported....so far.....
Xavier was very excited at the prospects. He was given $2 and used a small coin pouch to carry his money. The first 2 days went without much of a hitch. He would buy some noodles or rice with dishes. On the 3rd day, his buddy asked if he wanted to share Milo with him. Xavier agreed and the buddy asked for $0.50 from him. He then went to buy a cup of Milo which he proceeded to drink by himself. Xavier drinks only the water he brings to school during recess, which is probably why he didn't drink any of the Milo. Daddy got a bit upset because taking money from someone to buy something together was not his concept of sharing. Sharing was giving part of what you have to someone else. So the instructions to Xavier was to never ever give money to anyone without prior consent from his parents.
Xavier has a nature like many kids. He can eat the same thing day in and day out as long as he likes it. So it has been food from Chinatown Mixed Rice (sell rice with dishes) or Chinatown Noodles or something (noodle stall). I've not heard of any variation so far. There are many stalls in the school canteen but my boy will stick to these two.
Another interesting lesson he learnt was how to inform the stall keeper about the size of the dish before specifying the dish itself when he orders. The day he ordered noodles, he wanted a big plate because the regular sized plate was too small. He told the auntie at the stall that he wanted noodles but before he could say "big plate", the auntie turned around and gave him a regular sized plate. It's all about grammar. In English or Chinese - "I'd like a large plate of noodles". In Singlish "Noodles, big plate". My son is showing signs of Singlish....definitely.
Another incident related to buying food resulted in him having to carry several coins instead of a $2 note or 2 $1 coins to school. He gave the auntie $1 for a $0.70 plate of noodles and promptly left with his noodles, forgetting about his change. After that day, he had to carry sufficient $0.50, $0.20 and $0.10 coins so that he can give the exact change to the stall keeper. That was a cheap $0.30 lesson well learnt. You would have thought the stall keeper in a school would have been more honest. But maybe he was given a large sized plate which cost $1.00 instead of a regular sized one. But I'm sure he would know the difference between a regular sized plate and a large sized plate. His comment about the regular sized plate was "So small only! Not enough!".....positive demonstration of his Singlish.
No other mishaps about recess have been reported....so far.....
Friday, February 11, 2011
More pictures by Xavier
Since I was pretty successful earlier....here are more pictures.....
Speed train
Train
Rocket
Speed train
Train
Rocket
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Someone's actually reading my blog.....cool
My page counter jumped a teeny weeny bit. Must be cos Jerry hit it a few times....LOL. I definitely wasn't the one who hit myself.....
Thanks to whoever is reading this blog.
I'm going to try to put some of Xavier's powerpoint drawings to show them off. I think it's quite creative for a 6 year old......he learnt how to use powerpoint to draw simple pictures in school. The latest was that he was the only one in class who figured out how to make the background color before the teacher covered that in class. Show off....but I'm secretly proud of him......
Cannot upload now cos my netbook doesn't have powerpoint. And open office doesn't seem to allow me to save the file as a jpg or bmp or gif file....let me keep trying. Or use my other pc...
Anyway, here's something trivia about the kids....
Xavier:
He was able to name one of his powerpoint pictures "turquoise_hourse"....i was wondering how he could spell turquoise but not horse.....then I found out that he mouse over the color palette in powerpoint while he was coloring the horse, copied the word on a piece of paper then saved the file...figures how he can manage to spell a complicated word and mis-spell a simple one....and I thought he was very good at spelling.
Keane:
He has improved his spoken language tremendously over the last year. No longer the all brawn no brain fella...phew! He is totally not shy...during music class, we had a little contest to see who can identify the notes which the teacher pointed out on the board....he got all of them wrong and when the teacher asked the kids how many points they had, he shouted "Miss Linda! I got ZERO!!!!"
Ryan:
He has to be bribed and motivated to do almost everything. He is also very aware of his "performance" when compared to his brothers. So whenever we chide any of the other kids for being naughty and threaten to go out without them, he would say, "Xavier stay at home? I can go?". Another time he had this thing about not bidding his teachers farewell and we gave him a hard time for it. At the end, he was bribed by watermelon...."I said bye bye to teacher already....I can eat watermelon?"
To be honest, I'm secretly beaming with pride when I relate these stories but of course I have to remain the humble mom and say "Aiyah, they are very naughty lah!"...in true Singaporean fashion.
Later....
Thanks to whoever is reading this blog.
I'm going to try to put some of Xavier's powerpoint drawings to show them off. I think it's quite creative for a 6 year old......he learnt how to use powerpoint to draw simple pictures in school. The latest was that he was the only one in class who figured out how to make the background color before the teacher covered that in class. Show off....but I'm secretly proud of him......
Cannot upload now cos my netbook doesn't have powerpoint. And open office doesn't seem to allow me to save the file as a jpg or bmp or gif file....let me keep trying. Or use my other pc...
Anyway, here's something trivia about the kids....
Xavier:
He was able to name one of his powerpoint pictures "turquoise_hourse"....i was wondering how he could spell turquoise but not horse.....then I found out that he mouse over the color palette in powerpoint while he was coloring the horse, copied the word on a piece of paper then saved the file...figures how he can manage to spell a complicated word and mis-spell a simple one....and I thought he was very good at spelling.
Keane:
He has improved his spoken language tremendously over the last year. No longer the all brawn no brain fella...phew! He is totally not shy...during music class, we had a little contest to see who can identify the notes which the teacher pointed out on the board....he got all of them wrong and when the teacher asked the kids how many points they had, he shouted "Miss Linda! I got ZERO!!!!"
Ryan:
He has to be bribed and motivated to do almost everything. He is also very aware of his "performance" when compared to his brothers. So whenever we chide any of the other kids for being naughty and threaten to go out without them, he would say, "Xavier stay at home? I can go?". Another time he had this thing about not bidding his teachers farewell and we gave him a hard time for it. At the end, he was bribed by watermelon...."I said bye bye to teacher already....I can eat watermelon?"
To be honest, I'm secretly beaming with pride when I relate these stories but of course I have to remain the humble mom and say "Aiyah, they are very naughty lah!"...in true Singaporean fashion.
Later....
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
First day of school
Xavier's first day of school was pretty uneventful. I was on leave from work and accompanied him on the journey. Hubby drives him to school. I told him to pretend that I was not there. So he alighted and went to the parade square, found his class and sat down to read. I went up to him to let him know that I was leaving. He was pretty cool and said ok. I went to stand at the side without letting him see me.
Nothing major happened except that the principal was asking for Xavier Tan of P1. When I heard his announcement, I panicked a little but couldn't figure out what happened because the flag raising ceremony started before I could make my way to where the principal was standing. After the ceremony, all the students started to make their way to school. I couldn't figure what happened and when I went to the general office, they assured me that if something was wrong, they would inform the parents. I then left.
I went back to the school at dismissal time to fetch Xavier. I was glad that we had the rehearsal in December. The dismissal was pretty systematic other than a slight delay because one class of students didn't make it to the hall until 15 minutes after dismissal time. Again, I told Xavier to pretend that I was not there and make his way to the gate by himself. He managed to do so without any issue.
From then on, he was on his own once he reached school......cool.
Nothing major happened except that the principal was asking for Xavier Tan of P1. When I heard his announcement, I panicked a little but couldn't figure out what happened because the flag raising ceremony started before I could make my way to where the principal was standing. After the ceremony, all the students started to make their way to school. I couldn't figure what happened and when I went to the general office, they assured me that if something was wrong, they would inform the parents. I then left.
I went back to the school at dismissal time to fetch Xavier. I was glad that we had the rehearsal in December. The dismissal was pretty systematic other than a slight delay because one class of students didn't make it to the hall until 15 minutes after dismissal time. Again, I told Xavier to pretend that I was not there and make his way to the gate by himself. He managed to do so without any issue.
From then on, he was on his own once he reached school......cool.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Changes to my blog
I made a couple of additions today.....
1) Link to Endeavour Primary School
2) Link to The Little Skoolhouse
2) No of page views for my blog
I will remove the page view count if it stays embarrassingly low....it is now only 76? Probably 70 are my own views.....LOL. Help me keep the count going up if you can.....
1) Link to Endeavour Primary School
2) Link to The Little Skoolhouse
2) No of page views for my blog
I will remove the page view count if it stays embarrassingly low....it is now only 76? Probably 70 are my own views.....LOL. Help me keep the count going up if you can.....
Primary one.....orientation
We had to attend 2 orientation sessions in December. The first was to provide the parents with information about the school, arrangements for first week of school, the school program, etc. The second was a dry run rehearsal for dismissal. It was very interesting.
During the first session, the kids were sent to their classes for what was called a test to determined their language skills, to determine if they need to go for pre-primary school preparation class for phonics and hanyu pinyin. The principal said that only a small percentage of students need to go for these classes. Xavier didn't have to go for any.
There was a question and answer session for the parents while the kids were in class. Some of the questions asked by the parents were very interesting. I shall not pass any comment here as I respect every one's point of view.
I was impressed that the school organized the second orientation where we had a dry run for dismissal. We had to show our kids where the school gates were. This was to avoid confusion on the first day of school and was very sensible.
Xavier was very excited and couldn't wait to start primary one. He helped to label his own books and pack his bag for the first day of school.
During the first session, the kids were sent to their classes for what was called a test to determined their language skills, to determine if they need to go for pre-primary school preparation class for phonics and hanyu pinyin. The principal said that only a small percentage of students need to go for these classes. Xavier didn't have to go for any.
There was a question and answer session for the parents while the kids were in class. Some of the questions asked by the parents were very interesting. I shall not pass any comment here as I respect every one's point of view.
I was impressed that the school organized the second orientation where we had a dry run for dismissal. We had to show our kids where the school gates were. This was to avoid confusion on the first day of school and was very sensible.
Xavier was very excited and couldn't wait to start primary one. He helped to label his own books and pack his bag for the first day of school.
The saga continues.....
It was about 2 weeks of domestic chores for me....not that bad just hectic. Ferrying the kids, laundry, ironing......but we've managed before and we did again.
We picked up the helper and things started looking better. The house was cleaner than before and she could cook. The only thing that was lacking was the way she monitored the children. She didn't have the sense of urgency and wasn't as fast on her feet with the children as the previous helper. Nobody's perfect.
After one week with us, I had to start travelling for work. It was fortunate that she has working experience and is matured. And the most important part was that hubby is very supportive and can spend much time at home.
I'll start another post about Xavier and primary school....that will be interesting.
We picked up the helper and things started looking better. The house was cleaner than before and she could cook. The only thing that was lacking was the way she monitored the children. She didn't have the sense of urgency and wasn't as fast on her feet with the children as the previous helper. Nobody's perfect.
After one week with us, I had to start travelling for work. It was fortunate that she has working experience and is matured. And the most important part was that hubby is very supportive and can spend much time at home.
I'll start another post about Xavier and primary school....that will be interesting.
Monday, February 7, 2011
More domestic helper woes
So the agent said the helper did not turn up at the airport in Myanmar. I was aghast and was in total disbelief. Normally the agents will mobilize the helpers about 2 weeks before they are due to travel to Singapore. So I was very surprised when this agent told me the news only the day before the helper was due to arrive. It was totally unprofessional. I was unhappy and said refused to continue using their services, which resulted in even more unbelievable information.
The agent was supposed to refund the full fees to us. Staff A at the branch we went to for the settlement said that the system did not show us placing more than $100 deposit when we actually paid the fees in full. Staff A then called Staff B who handled our case at another branch which has since closed. Staff B said the system is wrong and that she will handle our refund, adding an instruction not to talk to Staff A further.
Staff B then told us it would take a few days to prepare the refund. It took 2 weeks, with regular calls, for the refund to be ready. The best part was that the refund was in 2 parts - a $100 cheque and the rest in cash. I told my husband that Staff B probably took our cash payment and used it for personal reasons instead of reporting it to the agent. I was very glad that I decided to stop using the services of that agent.
We went to several agents in the same building but none had a Filipino transfer helper who can start anytime. At the end, we caved and said we can accept Indonesian. But all the Indonesians who were present at the agencies refused to accept our offer because our kids appeared hyper active.
At the end, we asked Xavier to choose an agent. He did and lo and behold, that agent had an Indonesian transfer helper who has previous experience working in Singapore, looking after 3 kids. Seemed perfect so we made our offer immediately. That equated to almost another 2 weeks of waiting before her work permit was ready and she could join us.
To be continued.....is the suspense killing or irritating you yet?
The agent was supposed to refund the full fees to us. Staff A at the branch we went to for the settlement said that the system did not show us placing more than $100 deposit when we actually paid the fees in full. Staff A then called Staff B who handled our case at another branch which has since closed. Staff B said the system is wrong and that she will handle our refund, adding an instruction not to talk to Staff A further.
Staff B then told us it would take a few days to prepare the refund. It took 2 weeks, with regular calls, for the refund to be ready. The best part was that the refund was in 2 parts - a $100 cheque and the rest in cash. I told my husband that Staff B probably took our cash payment and used it for personal reasons instead of reporting it to the agent. I was very glad that I decided to stop using the services of that agent.
We went to several agents in the same building but none had a Filipino transfer helper who can start anytime. At the end, we caved and said we can accept Indonesian. But all the Indonesians who were present at the agencies refused to accept our offer because our kids appeared hyper active.
At the end, we asked Xavier to choose an agent. He did and lo and behold, that agent had an Indonesian transfer helper who has previous experience working in Singapore, looking after 3 kids. Seemed perfect so we made our offer immediately. That equated to almost another 2 weeks of waiting before her work permit was ready and she could join us.
To be continued.....is the suspense killing or irritating you yet?
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Domestic helper woes
My domestic helper of 6 years decided not to renew her contract last November. This caused some inconvenience for us. Domestic helper issues has always been something that Singaporeans can never have enough to talk about.
Initially we were adamant on hiring a Filipino when our ex worker confirmed that she would not renew her contract when we asked her. Then the news media brought us some unfortunate news.
The Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA) started to enforce the minimum wage for Filipinos working outside their country. It is a sum of US$450 per month, which is pretty low to many people in developed or developing countries. For Singaporeans who hire Filipino domestic workers, it meant that the minimum wage to pay a Filipino domestic worker is now about S$600 per month. This doesn't sound so much except that it is almost 50% more than what was normally paid to a Filipino domestic worker without any experience. It was reported that foreign domestic workers can command higher salaries in Hong Kong or Taiwan. Singaporean employers pay less here because the foreign worker levy imposed for hiring foreign domestic worker is included in the monthly cost involved in hiring such a worker. The monthly cost also includes accommodation, food and toiletries. I am not familiar with the employment terms and conditions in Hong Kong and Taiwan so I am not in a position to comment on whether we are making a fair comparison when we use just the monthly salary as a basis.
This enforcement created a shortage of demand for "new" Filipino domestic workers and a surge in demand for "transfer" Filipino domestic workers. Some agencies started advertising for availability open to workers to transfer to Hong Kong or Taiwan in Singapore. Some employers could not bring their workers out of Singapore due to lack of a contract supporting the minimum wage. Some agencies tried to make clarifications that the employement contract that is binding in Singapore is the one signed in Singapore and not the one presented to the POEA for work visa application in Philippines. Some people word the employment contract such that the wage paid is inclusive of the foreign worker levy, making it the burden of the domestic worker to pay the levy out of their now higher monthly salary, making them cash neutral at the end of the day. Some stories about how domestic workers felt about the conditions working in Singapore were published. To make the situation worse, there was some news about Indonesian domestic workers committing heinous crimes in Singapore - one was involved in the murder of a child and I vaguely remember the murder of an elderly person in another (but I could be wrong about the 2nd case).
We didn't want to take the risk of trying to bring in a Filipino domestic worker by allowing the employment agent to manipulate the employement contract. It is too risky and considering that I travel to Philippines for work quite often, I didn't want to be detained at the Philippine immigration for unnecessary questioning. So we decided to hire a work from Myanmmar. I wasn't favourable of hiring an Indonesian because of the many stories of violent Indonesians being circulated. I know that I shouldn't stereo type but I didn't want to try my luck.
We went to a medium sized employment agent and selected a worker from Myanmmar. The paperwork was complete and the week before the worker was due to arrive, the Myanmmar government called for elections. The agent called to say that all travel from Myanmmar was frozen. So we asked our helper to extend her stay for 2 weeks. We made arrangements for her repatriation and had to pay a fine for not renewing her contract on time. I was pretty upset with the Ministry of Manpower because I wrote in to ask for an extension due to the circumstances we were in. But I had more important things on hand than to fight with the ministry over a $100 fine.
A couple of days before the replacement worker was due to arrive, we made confirmations with the agent. That's when I found out I had to pay the fine before I could make arrangements to repatriation my ex-worker. We made all the arrangements for my worker to leave on the same day the replacement worker was due to arrive. The day before she was due to leave Singapore, the agent called to say that the replacement will be one day late. Urgh! Then on the day of my worker's departure, the agent called to say the worker didn't show up at the airport!!!!!
To be continued.....
Initially we were adamant on hiring a Filipino when our ex worker confirmed that she would not renew her contract when we asked her. Then the news media brought us some unfortunate news.
The Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA) started to enforce the minimum wage for Filipinos working outside their country. It is a sum of US$450 per month, which is pretty low to many people in developed or developing countries. For Singaporeans who hire Filipino domestic workers, it meant that the minimum wage to pay a Filipino domestic worker is now about S$600 per month. This doesn't sound so much except that it is almost 50% more than what was normally paid to a Filipino domestic worker without any experience. It was reported that foreign domestic workers can command higher salaries in Hong Kong or Taiwan. Singaporean employers pay less here because the foreign worker levy imposed for hiring foreign domestic worker is included in the monthly cost involved in hiring such a worker. The monthly cost also includes accommodation, food and toiletries. I am not familiar with the employment terms and conditions in Hong Kong and Taiwan so I am not in a position to comment on whether we are making a fair comparison when we use just the monthly salary as a basis.
This enforcement created a shortage of demand for "new" Filipino domestic workers and a surge in demand for "transfer" Filipino domestic workers. Some agencies started advertising for availability open to workers to transfer to Hong Kong or Taiwan in Singapore. Some employers could not bring their workers out of Singapore due to lack of a contract supporting the minimum wage. Some agencies tried to make clarifications that the employement contract that is binding in Singapore is the one signed in Singapore and not the one presented to the POEA for work visa application in Philippines. Some people word the employment contract such that the wage paid is inclusive of the foreign worker levy, making it the burden of the domestic worker to pay the levy out of their now higher monthly salary, making them cash neutral at the end of the day. Some stories about how domestic workers felt about the conditions working in Singapore were published. To make the situation worse, there was some news about Indonesian domestic workers committing heinous crimes in Singapore - one was involved in the murder of a child and I vaguely remember the murder of an elderly person in another (but I could be wrong about the 2nd case).
We didn't want to take the risk of trying to bring in a Filipino domestic worker by allowing the employment agent to manipulate the employement contract. It is too risky and considering that I travel to Philippines for work quite often, I didn't want to be detained at the Philippine immigration for unnecessary questioning. So we decided to hire a work from Myanmmar. I wasn't favourable of hiring an Indonesian because of the many stories of violent Indonesians being circulated. I know that I shouldn't stereo type but I didn't want to try my luck.
We went to a medium sized employment agent and selected a worker from Myanmmar. The paperwork was complete and the week before the worker was due to arrive, the Myanmmar government called for elections. The agent called to say that all travel from Myanmmar was frozen. So we asked our helper to extend her stay for 2 weeks. We made arrangements for her repatriation and had to pay a fine for not renewing her contract on time. I was pretty upset with the Ministry of Manpower because I wrote in to ask for an extension due to the circumstances we were in. But I had more important things on hand than to fight with the ministry over a $100 fine.
A couple of days before the replacement worker was due to arrive, we made confirmations with the agent. That's when I found out I had to pay the fine before I could make arrangements to repatriation my ex-worker. We made all the arrangements for my worker to leave on the same day the replacement worker was due to arrive. The day before she was due to leave Singapore, the agent called to say that the replacement will be one day late. Urgh! Then on the day of my worker's departure, the agent called to say the worker didn't show up at the airport!!!!!
To be continued.....
Finally.....
Just realized that it's been a few months since my last post. There are many things to share but someone commented that my posts were so long, it felt like reading a novel sometimes...in fact, 2 people told me that and 1 of them has given up on my blog.
If I want to make my posts short, why not use twitter or facebook? That was my first thought. Anyway, I'll do it my way.....
Xavier made it to Endeavour Primary School and is now in his 2nd month. From the looks of it, he is having a good time at school and that is most important. I'll give shorter posts to describe certain episodes to make it easier for everyone.
I shall not promise anything more than an attempt at keeping this blog alive for the sake of at least 2 people who have read this and given me their comments. I have not given up my dreams of becoming a writer yet. Let's see how I fare this time.
If I want to make my posts short, why not use twitter or facebook? That was my first thought. Anyway, I'll do it my way.....
Xavier made it to Endeavour Primary School and is now in his 2nd month. From the looks of it, he is having a good time at school and that is most important. I'll give shorter posts to describe certain episodes to make it easier for everyone.
I shall not promise anything more than an attempt at keeping this blog alive for the sake of at least 2 people who have read this and given me their comments. I have not given up my dreams of becoming a writer yet. Let's see how I fare this time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)