Just finished watching the telecast of the Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong speaking at the National Day Rally. The most interesting part of his speech was the part where he showed the progress of Singapore over the years from the 1960s to date. It is amazing to see how the nation has changed so much.
No more talk of babies tonight. Has the government given up? A recent article in the papers reported that despite the amount of bonus payouts, the number of births have not increased. Why do people not want to have children? Many people say it's not easy to have children. It is a costly process and a very heavy responsibility which comes with the commitment.
What does it take to encourage our people to have babies? I think it's not just the monetary incentives. We need a change in mindset. The inculcation of family values from young is very important. But with today's educated society which is open to many channels of information, it is not easy to do that. When we watch a movie, surf the internet, read a book, listen to the radio or watch television, we receive many messages. It may be a blatant "in your face" type of message or it may be a sublimal one. Whatever we hear, however seemingly trivial, will have an effect on us.
Keane is now able to string 2 or 3 words into a phrase although he still sticks to the basics. But what is cool now is that he occasionally picks up a book to ask me to read it to him. This is a huge leap from his behaviour in the beginning of this year. He knows when to say thank you when someone does something for him. But he still has a habit of yelling or throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. I suspect it's because he is still unable to vocalize his needs and the easiest way, from his past experience, seems to be to throw a tantrum. We are now making an effort to show him that a tantrum is not the way to go. Why do I say it is an effort? It's normally easier to just give in to him and have instant peace once he receives gratification. But that is not the best way to handle things, not for his development anyway. So I'm making an effort to spend more time with him and explain things to him more. I hope it will work. But according to a colleague of mine, "HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY!". He gave me this quote from one of his ex managers. So we'll have to commit to educating Keane and make a plan, so says Peter Drucker.
I heard about the Precious First Born theory over the radio. It seems that parents pay much more attention to their first borns than they do to their subsequent children. It seems that first borns are more favoured over the rest. The first borns get their diapers changed faster than the second or later. Parents are more anxious about their first borns. Personally I think it's a natural behaviour. With experience from taking care of the first born, parents tend not to over-react when something happens with the second or younger children. It's not that the second child is not as important. It's more like the parent has learnt that some things are not as life threatening as they thought it was before. It might also be that the parents are physically tired after taking care of the first baby. The second baby may be less of a novel and so doesn't get as much attention as the first. Is this a syndrome of unfairness? It depends on who you are of course.
I try to give equal attention to my 3 sons. And I really make an effort to try. But sometimes I find that I pay less attention to Xavier because he is the oldest and is now able to take care of himself in some areas so I don't watch over him as closely as I used to when he was younger. But I notice that he gets upset and tries to get my attention with some antics and tantrums. I realize that I must also give him my share of attention. He might not understand that I sometimes have to work late and cannot read to him before he sleeps or cannot go to sleep with him. A child would not have the reasoning of an adult. But he shows an exceptional understanding for a 5 year old. But that has its downside. How good can it be when my child knows that his mommy doesn't spend time with him because she has to work? It all boils down to work life balance. I'm not perfect so I cannot proclaim to do a good job. I can only say I try my best and ask God to take of the rest.
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