Yesterday was the long awaited school concert. The theme was journey through the ages. We had pseudo box seats in the upper gallery. The view of the entire stage was good but the seats were positioned such that we had to crane our necks to get a good view.
Nonetheless, we waited with anticipation and fear for Keane's item - Cavemen Dance. While we waited we had fears that he would throw a tantrum and be pulled out of the dance at the last minute. What if he cried halfway through the dance? What if he ran off the stage in the middle?
After the initial speeches, graduation of K2 students and introduction events, the concert finally began. After the snowball dance by some of Xavier's classmates, it was time for the Cavemen Dance. While the group was getting ready backstage, we could hear Keane shouting. Oh no....was it beginning already?
The curtains parted and there we saw our baby dressed like a caveman holding onto a club. He looked so adorable with his spiky hair. He looked around and then yelled "Hello!" and waved to the audience. The audience fell in love with all the little cavemen and cave women. The music started and they started their routine. Each time just before they had to changed what they were doing, Keane would shout "Stop" and then move on to the next step. It was amazing that he could remember all the steps on cue. He kept looking around and then saw us and shouted "Daddy! Mummy!" He wanted to walk towards us but I signalled for him to continue with his dance. To my amazement, he did. It was totally unexpected behaviour. He went through the entire dance and did everything correctly. He was right on cue. We were very proud. Of course, he still had to show his individualism at the end of the dance. Instead of running off to the side like the rest of his friends, he chose to explore. Tried to come towards us. After we told him to go back again, he decided to check out the microphone to the laughter of the audience. All in all, it was an excellent performance by Keane and he made us very proud.
After several other dances, we finally came to Xavier's Spice Kids dance. He looked very cool with his red Levi's t-shirt, woolly cap, 501 jeans and black suede shoes. Xavier did very well too, as expected. He never had any issues with performing over the past 3 years and he didn't this time either. In fact, he also did an excellent job. Remembered all the steps on cue and executed them well. He also had a good time, smiling as he was dancing. Xavier was cool personified.
During the finale, Keane threw a tantrum as he wanted to come down the stage to his dad. He was pulled away from the stage and pacified to wait for his turn. As he came back on stage with his classmates, he was crying. In fact, he was grumbling more than crying. He still doesn't express his needs verbally and chooses to grumble or cry whenever he is upset. When he was handed over to us, he was still grumbling a little. He calmed down when we started taking his photos.
After a quick snack at the tea buffet, and ordering concert rehearsal photos, we left to bring both of them for a treat. It was a reward for an excellent job by both of them. We went for japanese food - Xavier's favourtie and ordered Keane's must-have chocolate ice-cream. Both of them had a fantastic time.
I realized that Keane thrived on praises, like all kids. Even though he doesn't express himself often, it is evident that he absorbs everything that goes on around him. He never fails to surprise us with one or two unexpected observations, which are becoming less rare nowadays. This is something I am grateful for. He is making headway, albeit minute and slow progress. I told myself that I will spend more time with him and lavish him with praises more often. I hope this will help him make more progress towards his speech development.
I had a super long weekend - I took the afternoon off on Thursday as I was unwell, it was a public holiday on Friday. I didn't work at all from Thursday afternoon. I'm going to download my emails and go through the routine pc check by the company. Better to do it on Sunday than Monday in the office. The remaining month of 2009 will be a hectic one and I can't wait for it all to come to an end. 2010 promises to be exciting and one without resolutions. I've learnt that my resolutions never sustain themselves due to my lack of effort. I realize that I live for the moment and I am not good at planning ahead with my personal life. Workwise, of course I plan and make headway almost to plan. Don't ask me why the difference.......more analysis next week.
Listen to the voice of a mother of three who would like to share her thoughts and experiences of being a mother of 3 boisterous boys in the small city of Singapore.... Disclaimer: read at your own risk and learn from my mistakes.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Kudos to new teaching methods for Chinese
Recently MM Lee sparked off a torrent of debate when he acknowledged that he may have made a bad choice by assuming that we can learn 2 languages at the same level.
Some parents agree that we should make some changes in the teaching methods, in order to make learning Chinese more fun and interesting. Someone wrote to The Straits Times to disagree.
I'm sure my friend Gabriel would support the move wholeheartedly. I remember he had a hard time learning Chinese in school. My own experience wasn't that bad. But I distinctly remember that I had a Chinese teacher Ms Chong who made learning Chinese during my Secondary 3 year very fun. She used some English to explain certain Chinese phrases and these stuck to me for life, although I don't use them often.
I had the initial fear when I was selecting a child care center for Xavier. I knew that I wasn't that proficient in Chinese as I was in English. So I have to depend on someone else to teach my sons proper Chinese. Fortunately I picked the right center and both Xavier and Keane can speak Chinese. At least they can understand what we say to them and can respond pretty well. I don't ask for them to be scholars in the language but at least be able to hold a decent conversation and read most Chinese words.
Recently, after my trips to Shanghai and much project work related to China, I find that my Chinese has improved with increased usage. I can actually type in Chinese (thanks to hanyu pinyin!) Isn't that way cool? Ok, maybe I'm bragging a little but coming from a convent school, I think I've done pretty well. My teachers would have been proud!
The key to learning is to be unabashed about acknowledging your ignorance. Ask questions, find out whatever you don't know. Hunger for knowledge is the key to knowledge itself. Pride can only bring about the downfall of any man no matter how intelligent he is.
I feel that we should inculcate this sense of hunger in our children. That is the way to education. Dishing out tons of information will not help as much as if they did the research and carry out their own quest for knowledge. I believe that this is a fact that is gaining more recognition among our present educators. I will try my best to inculcate this in my kids as well. Although I must admit that the flesh is most weak.
This Saturday is the school concert. Xavier is pretty excited. Keane has been throwing tantrums in school during rehearsals. He might be pulled out last minute if he is not cooperative on Saturday. I don't blame the teachers. I ask God to help Keane make it to the performance. The fella has not had as much exposure or opportunities as Xavier.
Xavier is the real epitome of precious first born (FBC) without any intent. It just happened naturally like I described in an earlier entry. I'm trying to change things moving forward. No point moping about the past.
Anyway, shall keep one and all posted of the concert.....wish them luck!
Some parents agree that we should make some changes in the teaching methods, in order to make learning Chinese more fun and interesting. Someone wrote to The Straits Times to disagree.
I'm sure my friend Gabriel would support the move wholeheartedly. I remember he had a hard time learning Chinese in school. My own experience wasn't that bad. But I distinctly remember that I had a Chinese teacher Ms Chong who made learning Chinese during my Secondary 3 year very fun. She used some English to explain certain Chinese phrases and these stuck to me for life, although I don't use them often.
I had the initial fear when I was selecting a child care center for Xavier. I knew that I wasn't that proficient in Chinese as I was in English. So I have to depend on someone else to teach my sons proper Chinese. Fortunately I picked the right center and both Xavier and Keane can speak Chinese. At least they can understand what we say to them and can respond pretty well. I don't ask for them to be scholars in the language but at least be able to hold a decent conversation and read most Chinese words.
Recently, after my trips to Shanghai and much project work related to China, I find that my Chinese has improved with increased usage. I can actually type in Chinese (thanks to hanyu pinyin!) Isn't that way cool? Ok, maybe I'm bragging a little but coming from a convent school, I think I've done pretty well. My teachers would have been proud!
The key to learning is to be unabashed about acknowledging your ignorance. Ask questions, find out whatever you don't know. Hunger for knowledge is the key to knowledge itself. Pride can only bring about the downfall of any man no matter how intelligent he is.
I feel that we should inculcate this sense of hunger in our children. That is the way to education. Dishing out tons of information will not help as much as if they did the research and carry out their own quest for knowledge. I believe that this is a fact that is gaining more recognition among our present educators. I will try my best to inculcate this in my kids as well. Although I must admit that the flesh is most weak.
This Saturday is the school concert. Xavier is pretty excited. Keane has been throwing tantrums in school during rehearsals. He might be pulled out last minute if he is not cooperative on Saturday. I don't blame the teachers. I ask God to help Keane make it to the performance. The fella has not had as much exposure or opportunities as Xavier.
Xavier is the real epitome of precious first born (FBC) without any intent. It just happened naturally like I described in an earlier entry. I'm trying to change things moving forward. No point moping about the past.
Anyway, shall keep one and all posted of the concert.....wish them luck!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Home is where I go
Returned home from Shanghai this morning.....
Spent the day or rather the afternoon with the kids. I crashed when I reached home. Thought I could last the whole day but boy was I wrong, so very wrong.
Woke up in time to go out for lunch - Xavier's favourite japanese food. The whole family loves japanese food. After a pretty enjoyable lunch, we went shopping for toys. The boys have a habit of browsing for a very long time bfore deciding on their buy. I think it's because they want everything and are unwilling to give up any. The process of elimination can be pretty interesting. Xavier started with Lego but ended up with a styracasaurus from the Dinosaur King collection.
Keane ended up with a bus. Ryan wanted Leo from Little Einsteins but it was deftly removed from his grasp.
On the way home Keane started saying "Anybulan" several times. It took several failed attempts before we realized he was pointing to an ambulance. The police car was a "Pussy Car" and traffic lights were "Trassic Lights". But he still managed to do coffeeshop perfectly. It was great to see him increase his vocabulary.
I crashed again after we came home in the afternoon. I wonder whether it was because I was tired or I was missing my caffeine fix.
My next trip to Shanghai may be in December, depending on my boss and how the project pans out over the next few weeks. I look forward to going back to this authentic japanese restaurant near the Holiday Inn Pudong Shanghai on Dong Fang Road. Reasonably priced and good. Pasta Fresca at the Thumb Plaza was also a good place. It would be very cold if I went back in December. Would need to be prepared.
No matter where I go, I will always return home....
Spent the day or rather the afternoon with the kids. I crashed when I reached home. Thought I could last the whole day but boy was I wrong, so very wrong.
Woke up in time to go out for lunch - Xavier's favourite japanese food. The whole family loves japanese food. After a pretty enjoyable lunch, we went shopping for toys. The boys have a habit of browsing for a very long time bfore deciding on their buy. I think it's because they want everything and are unwilling to give up any. The process of elimination can be pretty interesting. Xavier started with Lego but ended up with a styracasaurus from the Dinosaur King collection.
Keane ended up with a bus. Ryan wanted Leo from Little Einsteins but it was deftly removed from his grasp.
On the way home Keane started saying "Anybulan" several times. It took several failed attempts before we realized he was pointing to an ambulance. The police car was a "Pussy Car" and traffic lights were "Trassic Lights". But he still managed to do coffeeshop perfectly. It was great to see him increase his vocabulary.
I crashed again after we came home in the afternoon. I wonder whether it was because I was tired or I was missing my caffeine fix.
My next trip to Shanghai may be in December, depending on my boss and how the project pans out over the next few weeks. I look forward to going back to this authentic japanese restaurant near the Holiday Inn Pudong Shanghai on Dong Fang Road. Reasonably priced and good. Pasta Fresca at the Thumb Plaza was also a good place. It would be very cold if I went back in December. Would need to be prepared.
No matter where I go, I will always return home....
Friday, November 6, 2009
Away from home......
I know I've been lazy, and haven't been updating my blog as often as I wished I did. I admit my laziness without shame.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind rush. I was in Shanghai for the week of Oct 19. Then I cam home for the weekend before departing for 10 days in Manila.
I came back last night and I'm flying out to Shanghai again for another week.
Some people may call it jet setting. Others think it's a pure torture. Well, I'd like to think of it as an adventure and escape.
Personally, I like to travel and despite the complains I hear people make when they have to travel, I secretly think that they relish the travel but they want to make it seem like a sacrifice when they have to travel for work. Hence the whining about the travel.
I like to travel because I can see the world. Something which I love. I enjoy freedom and the ability to move about on my own. The downside is I miss my kids. The upside is I miss my kids. Why do I say that? Well, I miss having them around but then again I don't miss having them around to create a ruckus. Am I trying to shirk responsibilities as a mom? Yeah.....kidding.
I packed my bags at 6 today and rushed home to be with my kids whom I've not seen in 10 days. All of us went to the shopping mall near our home for a meal. Well, dinner for the hubby and myself. Dessert for the kids. Oh the joy they expressed when they saw me walk into the day this evening totally swept me away. And filled me with guilt. How can I want to be away from these 3 adorable monsters? That's a question I cannot really put my finger to. I mean, I love them, don't think otherwise. They are the love of my life. But I don't want to be with them 24 hours. I wouldn't be able to take it. Am I a bad mom?
I dislike travelling with colleagues. That puts the trip into a whole new ballgame which comes with a truckload of obligations. I mean, if you are in a group, you'd feel obliged to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Maybe go out together. To me, that's pretty painful. I admit that I'm a travel anti-social. Actually I am pretty much a selective anti-social. I like to wake up at my own time, eat breakfast on my own, read a book while I eat, then move at my own pace. Sometimes I feel dragged down by others. Having to wait for everyone to turn up for breakfast, to finish eating the last morsel of cereal or drinking that last drop of coffee. Yes, everyone will say, don't worry, you don't have to wait for us. But somehow, you know it is easier said then done. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
This week I'll be travelling with someone I didn't really want to travel with. My boss. I'm going to try to go on my own for once. He thinks he's taking care of me when we have meals and all together, but really, I wish I was alone. I just want to do my own thing, you know. I'm not someone who must have company all the time. I prefer to be free by myself. Am I weird?
I watched the movie Julie & Julia or vice versa on the plane. This girl was so determined to blog her way through a book of more than 500 recipes in a year and she succeeded. And she put me to shame. She took her blogging as a serious project and she made it as an official writer as a result. Will that ever happen to me? I wish. Are you out there reading this? Are you a publisher? Do you think I'm good enough?
Keane is making huge progress in his speech. Maybe it's because I haven't really seen him in 2 weeks. He can instruct me to "Go bathe" when he saw me near the bathroom. He could also say short phrases like "Watch Out!" and "Oh wow!". To me, that's great. The most fantastic achievement I saw him make was to say "coffeeshop" accurately today. Music to my hears.
Ryan's begnning to show signs of readiness for toilet training. He can make mm-mm noises when he needs to poop. He will then sit on the trainer toilet seat and do his stuff. He's cool. The other day, when I was away, he attempted to make his way out of the play pen by climbing over the edge. He fell and never did it again. That involved some crying and stuff but he recovered very fast.
Xavier is showing signs of having good perspective. He can draw cars with the wheels in the right place and in the correct size relative to the body of the car. Is that also perspective? Not too sure....but you get what I mean. I think that's excellent.
Nov 28 is the year end school graduation ceremony cum celebration for Xavier and Keane. They are performing during the concert. It's Keane's first public performance and I'm looking forward to it. He missed his chance last year because the teachers were worried that he'd do his own thing and not follow the group. He had a habit of making off on his own to explore. The teachers wouldn't have the ability to hold him back. Bit like his old mom, don't you think?
Well I have to go back to work now.....it's been a hell of a day but it ain't over till the fat lady sings and this fat lady ain't singing none yet....
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind rush. I was in Shanghai for the week of Oct 19. Then I cam home for the weekend before departing for 10 days in Manila.
I came back last night and I'm flying out to Shanghai again for another week.
Some people may call it jet setting. Others think it's a pure torture. Well, I'd like to think of it as an adventure and escape.
Personally, I like to travel and despite the complains I hear people make when they have to travel, I secretly think that they relish the travel but they want to make it seem like a sacrifice when they have to travel for work. Hence the whining about the travel.
I like to travel because I can see the world. Something which I love. I enjoy freedom and the ability to move about on my own. The downside is I miss my kids. The upside is I miss my kids. Why do I say that? Well, I miss having them around but then again I don't miss having them around to create a ruckus. Am I trying to shirk responsibilities as a mom? Yeah.....kidding.
I packed my bags at 6 today and rushed home to be with my kids whom I've not seen in 10 days. All of us went to the shopping mall near our home for a meal. Well, dinner for the hubby and myself. Dessert for the kids. Oh the joy they expressed when they saw me walk into the day this evening totally swept me away. And filled me with guilt. How can I want to be away from these 3 adorable monsters? That's a question I cannot really put my finger to. I mean, I love them, don't think otherwise. They are the love of my life. But I don't want to be with them 24 hours. I wouldn't be able to take it. Am I a bad mom?
I dislike travelling with colleagues. That puts the trip into a whole new ballgame which comes with a truckload of obligations. I mean, if you are in a group, you'd feel obliged to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Maybe go out together. To me, that's pretty painful. I admit that I'm a travel anti-social. Actually I am pretty much a selective anti-social. I like to wake up at my own time, eat breakfast on my own, read a book while I eat, then move at my own pace. Sometimes I feel dragged down by others. Having to wait for everyone to turn up for breakfast, to finish eating the last morsel of cereal or drinking that last drop of coffee. Yes, everyone will say, don't worry, you don't have to wait for us. But somehow, you know it is easier said then done. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
This week I'll be travelling with someone I didn't really want to travel with. My boss. I'm going to try to go on my own for once. He thinks he's taking care of me when we have meals and all together, but really, I wish I was alone. I just want to do my own thing, you know. I'm not someone who must have company all the time. I prefer to be free by myself. Am I weird?
I watched the movie Julie & Julia or vice versa on the plane. This girl was so determined to blog her way through a book of more than 500 recipes in a year and she succeeded. And she put me to shame. She took her blogging as a serious project and she made it as an official writer as a result. Will that ever happen to me? I wish. Are you out there reading this? Are you a publisher? Do you think I'm good enough?
Keane is making huge progress in his speech. Maybe it's because I haven't really seen him in 2 weeks. He can instruct me to "Go bathe" when he saw me near the bathroom. He could also say short phrases like "Watch Out!" and "Oh wow!". To me, that's great. The most fantastic achievement I saw him make was to say "coffeeshop" accurately today. Music to my hears.
Ryan's begnning to show signs of readiness for toilet training. He can make mm-mm noises when he needs to poop. He will then sit on the trainer toilet seat and do his stuff. He's cool. The other day, when I was away, he attempted to make his way out of the play pen by climbing over the edge. He fell and never did it again. That involved some crying and stuff but he recovered very fast.
Xavier is showing signs of having good perspective. He can draw cars with the wheels in the right place and in the correct size relative to the body of the car. Is that also perspective? Not too sure....but you get what I mean. I think that's excellent.
Nov 28 is the year end school graduation ceremony cum celebration for Xavier and Keane. They are performing during the concert. It's Keane's first public performance and I'm looking forward to it. He missed his chance last year because the teachers were worried that he'd do his own thing and not follow the group. He had a habit of making off on his own to explore. The teachers wouldn't have the ability to hold him back. Bit like his old mom, don't you think?
Well I have to go back to work now.....it's been a hell of a day but it ain't over till the fat lady sings and this fat lady ain't singing none yet....
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I'm back......again....
I didn't realize that it's been that long since I posted an entry. Thanks for the reminder Linda!
I know now that I do have an international audience....ok, not so international, only SG and US. And I'm glad I asked Jerry (my truly American reader) about my blog and found out that it was such a hassle to leave a comment. And here I was, wondering if anyone was actually reading my blog. Although it was never meant to be a public source of information, it does help to know that there are people out there who were interested in what I had to say.
Anyway, I just came back from a week of training support in Shanghai. Something's not right when you download your emails on Friday at 5pm, login again at noon on Sunday and find a warning that your mailbox's almost full! Totally ridiculous.
I'm due to travel to Manila on Tuesday (27 Oct) for about 9 days (subject to change, depending on the work situation). This is to support system implementation. Don't even ask me to get started on that project, cos I don't want to start getting rude online.
We had another trip to the zoo last weekend, before I left for Shanghai. It was another fun filled day, although I think our trips to the zoo are not as educational as some others might make it out to be. We typically head off to the Rainforest Kidzworld for the kids to play at the water playground first. That's followed by a carousel ride before we explore the other parts of the zoo. By the time we actually get started on the tour of the zoo, the both of them (Xavier and Keane) are pretty tired. So we manage only about 5 animals before breaking for lunch. Lunch actually signifies the end of the outing. My hubby's generally not someone who can go on an outing for more than half a day. Besides, we have to drop by at the grandparents' every Saturday.
Xavier is showing more maturity as the days go by. He is totally detached, which can be a good thing. No whining about me not spending time with him and all that. But is that good in the long run? I don't know and I won't try to find out. I'm also very detached myself. Five days in Shanghai, and I only call home on Friday, after an sms to announce my safe arrival on Monday. Terrible huh? Other than Xavier, I think Keane and Ryan may not miss me that much, since I'm not really there most days anyway. Am I being a terrible mom?
Keane is talking in more coherent sentences nowadays. Ok, not full sentences but at least he is string a couple of words together. I worry about him a little but I think it will all work out. The latest thing we are into with Keane now is to do a roll call, like how they would in school.
Dad: 陈炜衡！(Keane's chinese name)
Keane: 到！ (Here!)
Dad: 陈毅恩！ (Xavier's chinese name)
Keane: 在这里（here....and proceeds to point at Xavier)
Dad: "Keane's classmate's name, which I can never remember"
Keane: 没有来！(didn't come)
It's hilarious cos Keane then makes a game out of it by doing a roll call for everyone in the car. This is a huge improvement for him, even though it might be something that other kids can do very competently much earlier than Keane. I appreciate every step he takes towards his speech, no matter how tiny. I feel comforted when he picks up the Hop on Pop book by Dr Seuss. It's his favourite although it took him more than 3 years to decide to pick up a book.
Ryan appears to be the most intelligent of the lot. He can now call 哥哥(brother), daddy, aunty, 公公（maternal grandpa), 婆婆 (maternal grandma), 阿妈 (paternal grandma), 爷爷(paternal grandpa)....all but mummy.....I think I'm ah-mmmmmm but that remains to be determined. Initially I thought Ryan was the most clingy of the 3 and I guessed it was because of the month that I spent with him at home after his operation. Whenever he sees me, he wants me to carry him. After a while, I'm not so sure. I think he's manipulative cos I'm the only person who will carry him out of the playpen. Why do we put him in the playpen then? He's a typical toddler who would not stop moving and touching stuff. He climbs pretty quick as well.
Ryan has a pretty high EQ. Whenever the dad scolds anyone of them, he'll keep quiet. If we tell him off, for touching the vase or doing something dangerous, he will cry. I yelled at him this morning as he was pushing the vase, which was as tall as he is, and it was swaying. He then went to lie down on the bean bag and had that comtemplative look on his face. His eyes were slightly wet with tears and he had a slight pout. I went over and explained why I yelled, gave him a kiss, and he was off in a second, with a smile on his face and off to his next adventure.
Xavier and Keane are both participating in the school's year end concert. I am so looking forward to it since it will be Keane's first stage performance.
A couple of weeks back, I went to the Formula 1 practice day event, courtesy of the Company. I took part in a Founder's Day contest by creating a craft work with a colleague. Both of us won tickets and had a great time. We were able to go for a walk in the pit lane and had a tour of the BMW Sauber garage. It was an eye-opening experience. Pretty cool.
I haven't been having an easy time at work. But I'm not complaining. I'll just manage things to the best I can. If something fails, too bad.
Shanghai was fun in a weird way. I didn't go out shopping or sightseeing. But I had the chance to meet people whom I've been corresponding with. It was good to put a face to the name and voice. The people I met were all friendly. We had a group dinner on Wednesday night and we had such a fun time, I laughed almost non-stop throughout dinner. I only wished I had more time in Shanghai. During the first night at the hotel, I was bitching to myself. This hotel is weird, there's a glass window between the toilet and the bedroom - why the hell would they want this? Actually I think it is a trend now, to allow you to watch a movie while soaking in the tub. But this tub was facing the wrong way....the taps were at the place where your head needs to be if you wanted to face the TV. I didn't want to sleep with that window, looking into the toilet so I tried to figure out how to lower the blind. After some time then I realize that it was an electric shade - silly me. Then there were 2 single beds, one facing a door (leading to another room) and one facing a mirror. Obviously not good. So I had to drape a towel over the mirror and settle into that bed facing the mirror. Then the next night, the internet service was cut off while I doing my work. Then the following night, there was a power surge, so I heard a couple of bangs (sounded like someone knocking on my door), the lights started flashing and the television went off. It took me about 5 minutes to convince myself I wasn't having a visitor from another dimension. And we're talking about the Four Points by Sheraton, no less.
My hotel reservation was screwed up so I had to move to a service apartment on Thursday. It was even creepier cos the apartment had 2 bedrooms, a living room, a small dining room, a tiny kitchen and 1 toilet with a shower. I couldn't decide which room was less creepy. The TV, my sustenance at night, was in the living room.....but I had a glimmer of hope when I saw a glass window behind the couch, between the living room and a bedroom. I told myself - aha! this "window between rooms" invention does have a benefit after all. I raised the blinds and voila! Frosted glass. Darn. So I had to comfort myself with work and chatting online with some friends from work.
I was very impressed by the Maglev which I took to/from the airport. It saved me a lot of time in travel and was cheap. The food portions in restaurants were huge and we always cannot finish the food. Talk about wastage, I felt bad but I couldn't stuff myself with another piece of meat. Luckily there was always fish on the table. I actually ate some beef during the steamboat, something which I normally don't do.
So there you have my experience in Shanghai. I really want to go back there again. If I do, I'll make sure to find some time to explore the place.
I'll try to update my blog again when I'm in Manila.
I know now that I do have an international audience....ok, not so international, only SG and US. And I'm glad I asked Jerry (my truly American reader) about my blog and found out that it was such a hassle to leave a comment. And here I was, wondering if anyone was actually reading my blog. Although it was never meant to be a public source of information, it does help to know that there are people out there who were interested in what I had to say.
Anyway, I just came back from a week of training support in Shanghai. Something's not right when you download your emails on Friday at 5pm, login again at noon on Sunday and find a warning that your mailbox's almost full! Totally ridiculous.
I'm due to travel to Manila on Tuesday (27 Oct) for about 9 days (subject to change, depending on the work situation). This is to support system implementation. Don't even ask me to get started on that project, cos I don't want to start getting rude online.
We had another trip to the zoo last weekend, before I left for Shanghai. It was another fun filled day, although I think our trips to the zoo are not as educational as some others might make it out to be. We typically head off to the Rainforest Kidzworld for the kids to play at the water playground first. That's followed by a carousel ride before we explore the other parts of the zoo. By the time we actually get started on the tour of the zoo, the both of them (Xavier and Keane) are pretty tired. So we manage only about 5 animals before breaking for lunch. Lunch actually signifies the end of the outing. My hubby's generally not someone who can go on an outing for more than half a day. Besides, we have to drop by at the grandparents' every Saturday.
Xavier is showing more maturity as the days go by. He is totally detached, which can be a good thing. No whining about me not spending time with him and all that. But is that good in the long run? I don't know and I won't try to find out. I'm also very detached myself. Five days in Shanghai, and I only call home on Friday, after an sms to announce my safe arrival on Monday. Terrible huh? Other than Xavier, I think Keane and Ryan may not miss me that much, since I'm not really there most days anyway. Am I being a terrible mom?
Keane is talking in more coherent sentences nowadays. Ok, not full sentences but at least he is string a couple of words together. I worry about him a little but I think it will all work out. The latest thing we are into with Keane now is to do a roll call, like how they would in school.
Dad: 陈炜衡！(Keane's chinese name)
Keane: 到！ (Here!)
Dad: 陈毅恩！ (Xavier's chinese name)
Keane: 在这里（here....and proceeds to point at Xavier)
Dad: "Keane's classmate's name, which I can never remember"
Keane: 没有来！(didn't come)
It's hilarious cos Keane then makes a game out of it by doing a roll call for everyone in the car. This is a huge improvement for him, even though it might be something that other kids can do very competently much earlier than Keane. I appreciate every step he takes towards his speech, no matter how tiny. I feel comforted when he picks up the Hop on Pop book by Dr Seuss. It's his favourite although it took him more than 3 years to decide to pick up a book.
Ryan appears to be the most intelligent of the lot. He can now call 哥哥(brother), daddy, aunty, 公公（maternal grandpa), 婆婆 (maternal grandma), 阿妈 (paternal grandma), 爷爷(paternal grandpa)....all but mummy.....I think I'm ah-mmmmmm but that remains to be determined. Initially I thought Ryan was the most clingy of the 3 and I guessed it was because of the month that I spent with him at home after his operation. Whenever he sees me, he wants me to carry him. After a while, I'm not so sure. I think he's manipulative cos I'm the only person who will carry him out of the playpen. Why do we put him in the playpen then? He's a typical toddler who would not stop moving and touching stuff. He climbs pretty quick as well.
Ryan has a pretty high EQ. Whenever the dad scolds anyone of them, he'll keep quiet. If we tell him off, for touching the vase or doing something dangerous, he will cry. I yelled at him this morning as he was pushing the vase, which was as tall as he is, and it was swaying. He then went to lie down on the bean bag and had that comtemplative look on his face. His eyes were slightly wet with tears and he had a slight pout. I went over and explained why I yelled, gave him a kiss, and he was off in a second, with a smile on his face and off to his next adventure.
Xavier and Keane are both participating in the school's year end concert. I am so looking forward to it since it will be Keane's first stage performance.
A couple of weeks back, I went to the Formula 1 practice day event, courtesy of the Company. I took part in a Founder's Day contest by creating a craft work with a colleague. Both of us won tickets and had a great time. We were able to go for a walk in the pit lane and had a tour of the BMW Sauber garage. It was an eye-opening experience. Pretty cool.
I haven't been having an easy time at work. But I'm not complaining. I'll just manage things to the best I can. If something fails, too bad.
Shanghai was fun in a weird way. I didn't go out shopping or sightseeing. But I had the chance to meet people whom I've been corresponding with. It was good to put a face to the name and voice. The people I met were all friendly. We had a group dinner on Wednesday night and we had such a fun time, I laughed almost non-stop throughout dinner. I only wished I had more time in Shanghai. During the first night at the hotel, I was bitching to myself. This hotel is weird, there's a glass window between the toilet and the bedroom - why the hell would they want this? Actually I think it is a trend now, to allow you to watch a movie while soaking in the tub. But this tub was facing the wrong way....the taps were at the place where your head needs to be if you wanted to face the TV. I didn't want to sleep with that window, looking into the toilet so I tried to figure out how to lower the blind. After some time then I realize that it was an electric shade - silly me. Then there were 2 single beds, one facing a door (leading to another room) and one facing a mirror. Obviously not good. So I had to drape a towel over the mirror and settle into that bed facing the mirror. Then the next night, the internet service was cut off while I doing my work. Then the following night, there was a power surge, so I heard a couple of bangs (sounded like someone knocking on my door), the lights started flashing and the television went off. It took me about 5 minutes to convince myself I wasn't having a visitor from another dimension. And we're talking about the Four Points by Sheraton, no less.
My hotel reservation was screwed up so I had to move to a service apartment on Thursday. It was even creepier cos the apartment had 2 bedrooms, a living room, a small dining room, a tiny kitchen and 1 toilet with a shower. I couldn't decide which room was less creepy. The TV, my sustenance at night, was in the living room.....but I had a glimmer of hope when I saw a glass window behind the couch, between the living room and a bedroom. I told myself - aha! this "window between rooms" invention does have a benefit after all. I raised the blinds and voila! Frosted glass. Darn. So I had to comfort myself with work and chatting online with some friends from work.
I was very impressed by the Maglev which I took to/from the airport. It saved me a lot of time in travel and was cheap. The food portions in restaurants were huge and we always cannot finish the food. Talk about wastage, I felt bad but I couldn't stuff myself with another piece of meat. Luckily there was always fish on the table. I actually ate some beef during the steamboat, something which I normally don't do.
So there you have my experience in Shanghai. I really want to go back there again. If I do, I'll make sure to find some time to explore the place.
I'll try to update my blog again when I'm in Manila.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The National Rally 2009
Just finished watching the telecast of the Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong speaking at the National Day Rally. The most interesting part of his speech was the part where he showed the progress of Singapore over the years from the 1960s to date. It is amazing to see how the nation has changed so much.
No more talk of babies tonight. Has the government given up? A recent article in the papers reported that despite the amount of bonus payouts, the number of births have not increased. Why do people not want to have children? Many people say it's not easy to have children. It is a costly process and a very heavy responsibility which comes with the commitment.
What does it take to encourage our people to have babies? I think it's not just the monetary incentives. We need a change in mindset. The inculcation of family values from young is very important. But with today's educated society which is open to many channels of information, it is not easy to do that. When we watch a movie, surf the internet, read a book, listen to the radio or watch television, we receive many messages. It may be a blatant "in your face" type of message or it may be a sublimal one. Whatever we hear, however seemingly trivial, will have an effect on us.
Keane is now able to string 2 or 3 words into a phrase although he still sticks to the basics. But what is cool now is that he occasionally picks up a book to ask me to read it to him. This is a huge leap from his behaviour in the beginning of this year. He knows when to say thank you when someone does something for him. But he still has a habit of yelling or throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. I suspect it's because he is still unable to vocalize his needs and the easiest way, from his past experience, seems to be to throw a tantrum. We are now making an effort to show him that a tantrum is not the way to go. Why do I say it is an effort? It's normally easier to just give in to him and have instant peace once he receives gratification. But that is not the best way to handle things, not for his development anyway. So I'm making an effort to spend more time with him and explain things to him more. I hope it will work. But according to a colleague of mine, "HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY!". He gave me this quote from one of his ex managers. So we'll have to commit to educating Keane and make a plan, so says Peter Drucker.
I heard about the Precious First Born theory over the radio. It seems that parents pay much more attention to their first borns than they do to their subsequent children. It seems that first borns are more favoured over the rest. The first borns get their diapers changed faster than the second or later. Parents are more anxious about their first borns. Personally I think it's a natural behaviour. With experience from taking care of the first born, parents tend not to over-react when something happens with the second or younger children. It's not that the second child is not as important. It's more like the parent has learnt that some things are not as life threatening as they thought it was before. It might also be that the parents are physically tired after taking care of the first baby. The second baby may be less of a novel and so doesn't get as much attention as the first. Is this a syndrome of unfairness? It depends on who you are of course.
I try to give equal attention to my 3 sons. And I really make an effort to try. But sometimes I find that I pay less attention to Xavier because he is the oldest and is now able to take care of himself in some areas so I don't watch over him as closely as I used to when he was younger. But I notice that he gets upset and tries to get my attention with some antics and tantrums. I realize that I must also give him my share of attention. He might not understand that I sometimes have to work late and cannot read to him before he sleeps or cannot go to sleep with him. A child would not have the reasoning of an adult. But he shows an exceptional understanding for a 5 year old. But that has its downside. How good can it be when my child knows that his mommy doesn't spend time with him because she has to work? It all boils down to work life balance. I'm not perfect so I cannot proclaim to do a good job. I can only say I try my best and ask God to take of the rest.
No more talk of babies tonight. Has the government given up? A recent article in the papers reported that despite the amount of bonus payouts, the number of births have not increased. Why do people not want to have children? Many people say it's not easy to have children. It is a costly process and a very heavy responsibility which comes with the commitment.
What does it take to encourage our people to have babies? I think it's not just the monetary incentives. We need a change in mindset. The inculcation of family values from young is very important. But with today's educated society which is open to many channels of information, it is not easy to do that. When we watch a movie, surf the internet, read a book, listen to the radio or watch television, we receive many messages. It may be a blatant "in your face" type of message or it may be a sublimal one. Whatever we hear, however seemingly trivial, will have an effect on us.
Keane is now able to string 2 or 3 words into a phrase although he still sticks to the basics. But what is cool now is that he occasionally picks up a book to ask me to read it to him. This is a huge leap from his behaviour in the beginning of this year. He knows when to say thank you when someone does something for him. But he still has a habit of yelling or throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. I suspect it's because he is still unable to vocalize his needs and the easiest way, from his past experience, seems to be to throw a tantrum. We are now making an effort to show him that a tantrum is not the way to go. Why do I say it is an effort? It's normally easier to just give in to him and have instant peace once he receives gratification. But that is not the best way to handle things, not for his development anyway. So I'm making an effort to spend more time with him and explain things to him more. I hope it will work. But according to a colleague of mine, "HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY!". He gave me this quote from one of his ex managers. So we'll have to commit to educating Keane and make a plan, so says Peter Drucker.
I heard about the Precious First Born theory over the radio. It seems that parents pay much more attention to their first borns than they do to their subsequent children. It seems that first borns are more favoured over the rest. The first borns get their diapers changed faster than the second or later. Parents are more anxious about their first borns. Personally I think it's a natural behaviour. With experience from taking care of the first born, parents tend not to over-react when something happens with the second or younger children. It's not that the second child is not as important. It's more like the parent has learnt that some things are not as life threatening as they thought it was before. It might also be that the parents are physically tired after taking care of the first baby. The second baby may be less of a novel and so doesn't get as much attention as the first. Is this a syndrome of unfairness? It depends on who you are of course.
I try to give equal attention to my 3 sons. And I really make an effort to try. But sometimes I find that I pay less attention to Xavier because he is the oldest and is now able to take care of himself in some areas so I don't watch over him as closely as I used to when he was younger. But I notice that he gets upset and tries to get my attention with some antics and tantrums. I realize that I must also give him my share of attention. He might not understand that I sometimes have to work late and cannot read to him before he sleeps or cannot go to sleep with him. A child would not have the reasoning of an adult. But he shows an exceptional understanding for a 5 year old. But that has its downside. How good can it be when my child knows that his mommy doesn't spend time with him because she has to work? It all boils down to work life balance. I'm not perfect so I cannot proclaim to do a good job. I can only say I try my best and ask God to take of the rest.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Relationships
Why am I blogging again today when my last post was what is considered very recent by my standards? I had a sudden surge of emotions following recently humbling events.
Today I want to write about relationships. There are many types of relationships between couples which we can observe, ranging from ideal to hellish. What is ideal and what is hellish? This varies person from person simply because we are human and we are different. Our state of emotion, opinions, attitudes and outlook all change over time. How we look at something today may not be the same perspective we adopt tomorrow. How we feel about an incident may vary depending on our state of emotion at that point.
What is my ideal relationship? I crave an open and honest relationship. I want to be able to share my feelings with my partner without having to consider his feelings, without worrying whether I hurt his pride or not. I am not talking about taking out my frustrations on him or saying hurtful things. I want to be able to say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't want to lie, I don't want to tell him things that he wants to hear just so that I will not hurt his feelings or pride. I want him to be able to know that I need him to understand how I feel. I want him to know that I tell him things which may hurt him or make him look bad because I want him to be a better person. I want him to know his weaknesses so that he can be a better man. I don't want him to become the man I want him to be. I want him to be the best kind of man that he can be. And I expect the same in return. It is with love that we tell our partners their weaknesses so that they can grow. If we don't care about them, the effort to do that wouldn't be worth it. If we don't care love them, we won't see the kind of person we know they can be and much more.
Familiarity breeds contempt. That is a true statement indeed. The person you married years back seem to have changed. Did she really change or did she just become more comfortable with you that she can do anything she feels like in front of you? Maybe she feels that she doesn't need to put up a front when she is alone with you. She might feel that you would accept her for who she is, no matter what she says or does. Is that taking things for granted? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on whether you are on the receiving end or not.
Is there a balance between "Absence makes the heart fonder" and "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Or is it a choice that we have to make - a choice of how we want to look at things?
The Dalai Lama wrote but maybe not in these exact words:
If a problem has a solution, it is not a problem. So don't worry. If a problem has no solution, there is nothing you can do about it. So don't worry.
Today I want to write about relationships. There are many types of relationships between couples which we can observe, ranging from ideal to hellish. What is ideal and what is hellish? This varies person from person simply because we are human and we are different. Our state of emotion, opinions, attitudes and outlook all change over time. How we look at something today may not be the same perspective we adopt tomorrow. How we feel about an incident may vary depending on our state of emotion at that point.
What is my ideal relationship? I crave an open and honest relationship. I want to be able to share my feelings with my partner without having to consider his feelings, without worrying whether I hurt his pride or not. I am not talking about taking out my frustrations on him or saying hurtful things. I want to be able to say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't want to lie, I don't want to tell him things that he wants to hear just so that I will not hurt his feelings or pride. I want him to be able to know that I need him to understand how I feel. I want him to know that I tell him things which may hurt him or make him look bad because I want him to be a better person. I want him to know his weaknesses so that he can be a better man. I don't want him to become the man I want him to be. I want him to be the best kind of man that he can be. And I expect the same in return. It is with love that we tell our partners their weaknesses so that they can grow. If we don't care about them, the effort to do that wouldn't be worth it. If we don't care love them, we won't see the kind of person we know they can be and much more.
Familiarity breeds contempt. That is a true statement indeed. The person you married years back seem to have changed. Did she really change or did she just become more comfortable with you that she can do anything she feels like in front of you? Maybe she feels that she doesn't need to put up a front when she is alone with you. She might feel that you would accept her for who she is, no matter what she says or does. Is that taking things for granted? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on whether you are on the receiving end or not.
Is there a balance between "Absence makes the heart fonder" and "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Or is it a choice that we have to make - a choice of how we want to look at things?
The Dalai Lama wrote but maybe not in these exact words:
If a problem has a solution, it is not a problem. So don't worry. If a problem has no solution, there is nothing you can do about it. So don't worry.
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